The Heart Brings You Back
by Lilly for Algernon
Summary: There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered.' - Nelson Mandela, EB, New MoonAU. COMPLETE!
1. Prologue

AN: This is a shortish preface for my newish story that, by the way, has already been written

**AN: This is a shortish preface for my newish story that, by the way, has already been written. The actual chapters will be (substantially) longer then this. Oh and yes, this is another Edward-leaves-and-doesn't-come-back, Bella-gets-turned, New Moon fic. Hopefully it will be at least a little bit unique :). Hope you enjoy.**

_--_

_Those who have crossed_

_With direct eyes, to death's other Kingdom_

_Remember us — if at all — not as lost_

_Violent souls, but only_

_As the hollow men_

_The stuffed men._

T.S Eliot – The Hollow Men

--

It was inevitability that after centuries of peace, something would come along to destroy the idealism that had been the Cullen household. Of the family who belonged to it, only Alice and Edward regularly thought of Bella still, yet Bella Swan, the almost eighth member of the family, and the circumstances of her death were never very far from the thoughts of any of the Cullen's; not Esme or Carlisle, nor Jasper, Emmett or even Rosalie. Bella was the burden the family carried, a burden of love that none of the vampires had ever expected to carry. Not their inhuman strength, nor their supernatural beauty, nor their immortality, nor any of their special and unique gifts had helped lighten that burden. So for the most part of more then half a century, even and especially to Edward who undeniably had loved her most, her name was only heard in the whispers of his families' conscience.

So, like the lives of the Cullen's, the fiftieth anniversary of Bella's death passed swiftly and inconspicuously and almost precisely fifty seven years after that fateful day Carlisle decided to move his family back to the small town Forks, a town where his memory had since faded.

Almost.

--

_Let me be no nearer_

_In death's dream kingdom_

_Let me also wear_

_Such deliberate disguises_

_Rat's coat, crowskin, crossed staves_

_In a field_

_Behaving as the wind behaves_

_No nearer –_

--

On the eve of her eightieth birthday, Isabella looked into a mirror much like she had done on her eighteenth, searching the valleys and hills of her face for change.

For the most part, the life of Isabella Swan had been (almost) tolerable in her eyes, if not completely what she might have once expected it to be. It had not been a fairytale, nor a Shakespearian tragedy, she had not ended up with Romeo, or Paris, or Prince Charming or a toad; Isabella was almost alone and that fact did not surprise her in the least.

She rarely reflected on the things she might regret in her long, laboured life, however if she had, her kind of isolation would not have made the list.

She would occasionally wonder that if such a list existed, would she add the meeting of a certain vampire family (or more specifically a certain vampire) that she had banished long ago from the reaches of her heart, or if she would add the events of October the 18th and the meeting of Jonathan Stone. She felt that if she was truly honest with herself, neither event could be regretted; both so pivotal in the way fate had aligned itself. Fate had aligned itself strangely for Isabella Swan.

Despite her most deliberate resistance, Isabella had in the end stuck with Plan B when Plan A had seemed an impossibility. Edward Cullen and his family, her lover, her best friends, her surrogate siblings, had left Forks (and Isabella) almost twelve months previous and since then both Isabella's hope for a reunion and any desire to stay in wretched Forks had waned considerably. So Isabella Swan had left Forks for the esteemed Stanford University, as far away as was possible from the misty valleys of her home. In hindsight taking a class in vampiric legends had been a bit reckless, Edward would have been very displeased, but in her defence even Jonathan had seemed shocked to find a human student in his class who was aware of the fact behind the wild myths and conspiracies of vampiric lore.

Why a three hundred year old vampire had decided to teach a bunch of Ivy League brats about the intimacies of his species was a question only answered by the acquaintance of Stone himself. He had of course singled Bella right out, academically and personally, as a shining star of a student. Aligning them both together in the tangled web of destiny.

"Bella darling." He had crooned one day as they walked alone against the backdrop of ancient buildings. Bella was fairly complacent beside the amber-eyed bloodsucker alum, although she reminded herself constantly not to become to much so.

"I have a quite wonderful gift as a vampire that I am rarely able to use with my…"

Jon cleared his throat meaningfully. "Unusual circumstances."

"Yet Bella, I believe I can use it on you with clear conscience. You are after all a unique specimen of humanity."

This was the point in which Bella could remember beginning to feel nervous.

"What is that?"

"There are some among the vampire population who are unusually gifted, even for… well unusually gifted people."

Bella had nodded absently. Like discussions she had shared with Jacob, these discussions with Professor Stone reminded her too painfully of a past she tried incessantly not to relive.

"I'm aware of that."

Jonathan seemed delighted.

"Excellent! You do amaze me Bella, I would love to know who it was who acquainted you with my… kind." He held up a hand in resignation as Bella had opened her mouth in refusal. "Although, I realise my curiosity may never be completely sated."

"My own special gift realises the deep engrained yearnings of the souls around me, be it for love, lust or vitality…" With his last word Jonathan had focused intently on Bella.

"I would like to give you the wish you have been yearning for so dreadfully all these years."

Bella had started as Jonathan with unnatural speed cut her off and situated himself inches from her face.

"Bella darling. Did he really leave you so broken? I can fix that."

As Bella discovered mere moments later Jonathan's will power was not half as strong as even the weakest of the Cullen's. Or rather, it was not a matter of will power, but apathy should he break his self-imposed 'vegetarian-ism'.

"My god Bella!" Jonathan had exclaimed wide eyed when she had demanded he explain himself. "You think that I abstain because I struggle with my nature? I do not. Humanity has no more concept of good and evil then nature itself. We live by our instincts, our pride, our disposition and character." Jonathan had grimaced and pinched his nose in deliberation.

"No Bella, I simply enjoy the company of _their_ kind too much and any excess of blood would mean abstaining from something far more precious. I do love a human, and not just as a meal. Their point of view is astonishing, their actions and emotions unpredictable. They are something far more exquisite and magical then the hard existences we entomb ourselves in."

Bella had raised an eyebrow at this.

"Bella do not look at me in that way. You are a special case. You are completely unique and not long for their world. Not at all."

Bella had found her sire as fascinating in death as she had in life, but much to his disappointment it did not keep her in his company for longer then half a decade. Unlike Jonathan, Bella refused to ever let the blood of a human pass her lips. Her abstinence had been decided long before she had been changed and despite the fact she had little hope or want of ever seeing Edward again, she wanted to know that he would at least be proud of how she governed her unlife. She doubted that Edward would ever believe her change had been against all but her most internal and repressed will, but for his sake she had struggled with Jonathan, and struggled with her own instinct.

Isabella began a lonely but acceptable existence, floating across county sides and lurking in abandoned homes in forgotten towns. Her acquaintances where numerous but never made with deeper foundations then intellectual curiosity and for at least a few weeks, often months, every year Isabella returned to Jonathan Stone. Yet the majority of her life was passed alone.

And so it flit past for almost fifty years,

She had not then, and did not now; understand the longing that had brought her back to Forks. Charlie was long dead, half broken by her supposed 'death' and a lifetime of loneliness. Jacob Black, Isabella's long time Paris still existed in the heart of La Push. When she had visited he had been sad to the point of both Isabella's and his own heartbreak, but amazingly tolerant.

"I suppose I always knew this was going to happen." He had told her so ruefully that despite the injury of old age Jacob could have been sixteen again. "You were always one of them at heart, always understood them better. If it had been high school then I guess you would have been one of those beautiful people, unattainable but beautiful, and I would have been with the gang smoking behind the portables." He grinned boyishly. "The bad asses."

Isabella smiled crookedly.

"That _was_ high school Jacob, for us"

Jacob's laughter escaped like a hiss of escaping gas, his frame shook dolefully.

Isabella frowned slightly.

"Was I really that cruel?"

"Yes and no. You were completely and utterly oblivious of what you were doing to me, but I guess you were still doing it."

She had kneeled so that their faces were close; her whisper lost to anyone who wasn't Jacob.

"Would it have been better if I had just pretended? I did love you Jacob. A lot."

He dies three weeks later with out her ever knowing the answer.

She is unable to leave Forks after that, as if some unnamed and impenetrable force binds her there. She stays in the dusty rooms of her old home and avoids the Cullen lot, and for a while she is content just being until unrest digs itself again deep into her psych. Most of her days are wiled away in the sunlight far away from human prying eyes. The clearing that Edward once brought her, that she has done her best not to associate with his lies and promises, is far enough away that she can sense the presence of an especially ambitious human long before it is close enough to reveal her secret. She reasons that any vampire that comes across her will be inconsequential.

Seven years pass and she barely realises.

So on the eve of her eightieth birthday, Isabella studies herself in a worn and clouding vanity mirror. Unlike her eighteenth, she remains the same.

--

_Not that final meeting_

In the twilight kingdom

--


	2. The Foundations

Cecily sniffed irritably as she bore the quiet fury of her family

AN: Kay, this chapter is dedicated to the only two readers who reviewed. Bitter sweet, huh? Anyway, pilotte and Phantom-writer3739, you guys rock. The first real chapter now, and the second and final OC is introduced. Enjoy!

--

There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered. – Nelson Mandela

--

Cecily sniffed irritably as she bore the quiet fury of her family. Even Edward, who typically was lurking in familiar upstairs quarters, was able to radiate his disapproval down though the thick ceilings.

"I knew that this would happen." She said, her voice bordering on hostile. "You're all so closed minded. You are all unable to see just how perfect this situation is. Ben _adores_ me."

The raised voice of his youngest sister was sufficient to drag Edward to the last steps of the stairs, both in visual and vocal range of the rest of the family. His face was clouded.

"No." He said icily.

Esme snapped around to look at him, tense with displeasure.

"Edward." She spoke quietly but with assertion. "If you would like to take part in this conversation please sit down."

"Everybody has somebody!" Cecily whined. "Everybody has a mate except for me and dowdy old Edward. I'm all alone, and now I'm in love and nobody in this wretched family will even consider it as a possibility."

The eight vampires which circled the Cullen dining table where all rigid with varying levels of anger, despair and irritation, Alice and Esme glanced slyly towards Edward in concern. Carlisle spoke in his usual calm musical tone, as if totally oblivious to the tension.

"Cecily we all empathize with your… romantic troubles." Carlisle cleared his throat and most of the table silently applauded him for his tact. Cecily was after all only in her mid thirties, hardly in desperate need of permanent companionship. "However we have all made it very clear to you the dangers of attachment to the mortal realm. Your new found… infatuation of this human boy puts us all at risk."

"I love him." Cecily pouted petulantly, she looked at Alice, her usual ally, with appealingly eyes but was disappointed. Alice merely shook her head.

"This family had learnt the damage that is done by familiarity between vampires and humans. Sorry Cecil, I'm not going to condone it."

Edward growled softly and his perfect, topaz irises darkened dangerously.

Cecily lifted her chin and stared down her nose at the family.

"I won't stop seeing him. I refuse."

With that sparse and angry remark Cecily picked herself off her chair and stalked to her room, golden curls dancing behind her. Sixteen years old and Cecily was the eternal Claudia, exasperated by youth and wishing desperately for the independence of adulthood that would never arrive.

Edward's face twitched as he watched Cecily go. He barely registered the soft hands of comfort on his back as the rest of the family picked themselves up and exited the room, leaving only Alice and Carlisle.

"I don't like this." He muttered to no one in particular.

Alice sighed and leant her head down on the cool oak table, her own cold skin soft against the varnished top. Carlisle nodded carefully at his oldest son.

"We realise this must be hard for you Edward." He said, his cool voice still commanding despite the notable worry entangled in it.

"Not so hard," Edward snapped. "After all it's been what? Half a century? If only it was as easy for me as it is for the rest of you."

"Edward." Carlisle's tone was angry now, the corners of his perfect face creased. "Please do not forget that we all loved Bella, and that we all remember her with absolute fondness and with gratitude. Do you think I would be this harsh with Cecily's vanity if I did not?"

Edward's own beautiful features hardened stoically. He suddenly regretted the ruthlessness of his words very much. He knew all too well that his family still felt the strength of Bella's loss, but at the same time he knew that did not contend with his own loss, the loss of his singular mate.

Carlisle's eyes softened slightly.

"I think that it is time we moved along. We have perhaps been here to long for peace of mind. Cecily's new human infatuation only attests to that."

Edward nodded and Alice looked up in interest.

"Where?"

Carlisle frowned and Edward realised that his father must have been considering this move for quite a while.

"I would like to return to Forks for a while." He ignored the stricken expression on Edward's face. "At least a few months, perhaps longer."

"No." Edward said steadfast. "I won't go back there."

Carlisle ducked his head pleasantly. "That as usual is your choice. Although I would prefer you stay Edward, we would miss you terribly."

Carlisle glanced at Alice anxiously. "I have feared for along time that there is something beginning in Forks, I would like to be reassured that the treaty has not been compromised."

Alice nodded coolly, her eyes flitting towards Edward.

"It's a valid concern, what with the death of Jacob Black. I would hate for the wolf population to become unnecessarily… Rowdy."

Carlisle smiled suddenly and stood up with a screech of his chair.

"That's settled then. We'll return to Forks within the week, please let me know Edward if you plan on joining us."

He paused in deliberation as he moved for the exit, his movement carefully precise. Carlisle looked sadly back at Edward, his expression soft and sympathetic.

"Please do not dwell too much on this Edward. We must all do our best to keep moving on with our lives, even you, especially you."

Edward nodded slowly and he too got up, instead of following Carlisle walking towards the intricate French-doors that lead to the terrace. He felt, rather then saw, Alice follow him out into the cold, night air.

"Every night I ask myself if I made the right choice. If I did what was best. I tried so hard to be selfless Alice…" Edward's voice was so soft that if Alice had been human his words would not have reached her. "Do you think that I should have listened to Bella when I had that chance? Was that really the only way?"

Alice scoffed, the noise loud in the unnatural silence.

I think both of you where being ridiculous, _especially_ you." Alice paused and her tone softened to one more like sympathy. "But you did do the selfless thing. The only thing you saw to do, the Edward thing. She would forgive you if she was here now."

"I'm not so sure."

"I am."

Edward felt Alice leave as he stared absently into the darkness that surrounded him, yet he himself didn't move until the sun rose with dawn, the hungry scent of mountain lion in the wind. Somewhere, to the west, he heard a wolf cry.

--

As the Cullen's prepared to move back to their former home, Bella Swan had left hers to visit some old friends.

Lilly and Vivian Aberhart's eyes shone dark red in contrast to Bella's own amber, and yet Bella could not begrudge them their appetite any more then she begrudged Jon, they where far too interesting. Isabella had yet to figure out how it was that Lilly and Viv had been able to stay together for almost two centuries with out ripping each other to shreds, their nature as a rule was so volatile and together they had become the bane of the Alaskan country side. Bella tried her best to ignore that when she came to visit her 'friends'.

At the present moment they huddled companionably around a heaped bonfire that send sparks flying high over their head. Bella could only imagine what the scene would look like from human eyes, three unnaturally beautiful woman illuminated to an even more eerie splendour in the firelight.

It was a shame in Bella's own eyes that Viv had to ruin the picturesque scene with the ugly sneer that spread across her face.

"Lillian, dear." She crooned. "Tell Isabella what you told me about that strange family."

The term family in conjunction with vampires was strange enough to hold Bella's attention, strange enough to twist her gut in suspicion.

"I'm sure she already knows." Lilly said stiffly, the pale white blonde of her hair coloured by the reds and oranges of the fire. "Forks is her territory after all, and the Cullen's have resided there for hundreds of years."

After fifty-seven years of effectively ignoring any reminder of the Cullen's, the sheer intensity of the pain ripping up her insides surprised her. For a moment the numbness that had cushioned her for years fell apart and Bella winced.

'We've been acquainted." Bella said icily. Her tone suggested clearly that the conversation had reached its end, but she didn't fail to notice the curious looks that the striking blondes beside her gave. In her post-Cullen haze Bella couldn't help comparing them both to Rosalie, and that too sent an unexpected pang on anguish through her system.

"My god, what did the Cullen's do to you Bella?" Lilly asked wide-eyed. "Run you through with a stake? I would expect that with your… similar lifestyle choices that you would have at least seen eye to eye."

Bella didn't appreciate the turn this conversation had taken, and she cursed her own fickle features. Even as a vampire she was unable to hide emotion from her face, at least now she was saved the embarrassment of turning beet red.

"It's not important. I would rather we didn't talk about the Cullen's."

Forty-eight hours later, when Bella began to make her way home, she realised that she had failed to ask why Lilly and Vivian had brought the dreaded Cullen's into the conversation in the first place. She also supposed it didn't matter.

--

Cecily's mood had improved very little by the time The Cullen's had arrived in Forks. Privately Edward believed that his sister was more irritated at the sudden change of scenery then any damage done on her heart. A satisfying goodbye scene had at least sated her ego, and now it seemed to be her more dramatic impulses that drove her displeasure.

She was, predictably, not speaking to Edward.

Edward had to admit that to a certain degree the move was his own fault. After all Carlisle had been transparent in his attempts to shield Edward from Cecily's unfortunate romance and for the most part Edward was glad. It was just a shame to be returning to Forks High, to memories better left settled. For his own part he was sad that a rift had developed between he and Cecily, despite the fact he was often the harshest of the family members towards her, there was also a certain bond between them.

Cecily had been created as an incitement for Edward to live, and she had done her job. For two decades after Bella's death, Edward had left the Cullen's and had… there was not a term for how he had existed. Half alive, half dead, broken, suicidal; Esme had been hysterical. So when Carlisle found Cecily, or who ever she had been back then (no one was completely sure), almost dead on the streets of Cardiff, he had changed her and had arrived on Edward's doorstep looking for help.

"She needs support." His father had told him. "Myself excluded you are the eldest, and you are a part of this family. You can help her, don't let dying become your fate Edward."

Edward had sneered at the tiny frame curled up in a bed that dwarfed her; blonde curls stark against dark sheets. This was not the person who was meant to be the eighth member of the Cullen family.

"You've brought me what? A replacement?"

"No." Carlisle had been sincere. "We wouldn't do that Edward. She's your sister, _Cecily_ is your sister and she needs you now."

So Edward had become part of the Cullen family again and after a while it wasn't so hard to be half a person, a soul. Numbness seemed to intrude upon every part of his life, but he wouldn't forsake that for any amount of resolution Carlisle could give him. He wanted never to forget Bella, not ever.

"Jeez!" Emmett bounded out of the '56 Mercedes that Edward had parked in the car park of Forks High; his voice loud enough to break Edward from his thoughts. "The wind of time really hasn't reached Forks has it?"

Even from the awkward position of the driving seat, Edward could see that Emmett was right. Forks hadn't changed much more then they had.

A steady stream of students made their way through the double doors. None of them could stop staring the curious stares that the Cullen's drew. Edward sighed and he felt Rose's hand brush his shoulder softly.

"This won't be that bad." She said softly. "It's only for six months."

Six months, Edward though miserably, a life sentence; Six months of taking Biology in the same class room he had first met her, six months of staying in a house full of memories both happy, sad and excruciating.

Rosalie's own conviction only lasted until the siblings received their timetables. A frown marred her pretty features as she compared it to Edward's.

"Look I only have one class with you and I have Art History entirely alone."

Edward shrugged, nonchalantly memorising his own timetable.

"Perhaps if you took more AP classes…"

Rosalie scowl intensified. "Excuse me if I don't want to fill up my immortal life span with homework. For god sake Edward you've done these classes a million times, do something different. Join Art History with me."

From behind them Cecily came bouncing up, effectively ignoring Edward. Her mood had improved somewhat in the last hour with the news that after some heavy pleading and bargaining, she would be allowed to attend Forks High at the same grade as Edward, Rosalie and Alice; despite the utmost irritation of Cecily's siblings only Jasper and Emmett had been exempt from re-enrolling at Forks High. Cecily on the other hand could have cared less, she alone of the Cullen clan enjoyed the attention of humans.

Next to the sunny features of her sister, Alice's face was very dark indeed. Edward wondered if it was the beginning of a new school career or Forks it self, that had etched a frown over his usually light hearted sister's face.

"If Rosalie's class corresponds with your Biology class then I suggest you take her up on her offer. According to Miss Hope, the receptionist, today everybody's testing their blood type so they can apply for the annual blood drive."

Edward closed his eyes briefly as his mind fabricated the smell of twenty or thirty teenagers pricking their arms and letting their blood flow like a vampire buffet. He tried to ignore the way his mouth watered with venom, itching to be filled with warm, liquid life. He made a mental note to go hunting that night. Schooling his features Edward turned to address the young, pretty receptionist who was shooting him less then subtle looks with her immaculately made up eyes. Her smile widened impossibly as he approached.

"Miss Hope?" He asked, his voice polite but not intimate. "Do you think it would be possible for me to move classes? From Biology to Art History."

The receptionist was obliging, making only a slight comment about Art History not being a suitable challenge for such an astute student before moving Edward into the class. She sent the siblings to their classes with a wave and a smile reserved obviously for Edward.

Edward could hear Rosalie shaping the question before she voiced it and he willed himself not to tense in anticipation.

"Is it terribly hard?"

Edward breath came out unneeded and uneven.

"More so and less so I suppose." He said dryly, trying valiantly to eradicate most of the emotion from his voice. "More so because here in Forks, everything is so much clearer, so much more painful to remember. I constantly feel as if I am being taunted by the knowledge that she is just out of my reach. Less so too I suppose, because coming back to Forks, even if it's painful, is something like coming…"

He paused, and he was suddenly unsure how to continue. "Home. Almost like coming home."

--

As soon as school ended, Edward recruited Alice for a hunting trip. He wished internally for something vicious and lethal that would fight back. He needed something more then blood right now and he needed Alice by his side to make sure his inner-beast didn't get out of control.  
Every part of him ached.

Silence had been an expected interloper of conversation for Edward since he had arrived in Forks. He knew that it was mostly his own fault; his family had become uncomfortable around him, unsure what would set him off. However in Alice's case Edward was beginning to wonder if she was maybe somewhat furious at him. The periodic table she kept repeating in her head was either way a very clear message for him to stay the hell out of her mind.

Edward sighed and raised an eyebrow helplessly at his sister.

"Are you angry at me?"

Alice peeked at him through her peripheral vision, the muscles in her jaw locking in irritation.

"I'll have you know Edward Cullen that occasionally it is very difficult not to be mad at you."

Even if Alice had not opened the floodgates of her psyche, Edward would have known that her current unhappiness was not due to him using her favourite Dior blouse to mop up blood or showing Jasper her credit card bill. He realised suddenly that to believe that Forks was only hurting him was not only unbelievably selfish, but sightless as well; Alice had loved Bella like another sister and the evidence of her loss was etched plainly across her beautiful face.

"I understand if you blame me." Edward said evenly. Alice rolled her eyes. "God knows I do."

Alice gave up even voicing her thoughts and simply glared at him.

"_What happened to Bella was not your fault Edward."_

"You are particularly snappy for somebody who does not blame me at all."

Alice snarled and stopped walking, planting her self a few steps before him so Edward too was forced to stop, and for a moment they stared at each other, both motionless.

"I think sometimes you forgot Edward just how carefully we all watched you and Bella. How vividly we all remember your happiness and your catastrophe. I would never blame you for what happened to Bella, you did what you did with the best intentions and her death was not your fault. The fact that you insist on making your self miserable I do blame you for, and honestly Edward, sometimes I can't help blaming you for making her miserable."

There was nothing to be said to that. Edward ducked his head and weaved around Alice's body. He knew that had they never come to Forks, Alice might never have admitted that to him however much he may deserve it. He could not wrong Alice for being honest, and yet the reality of hearing it in the open felt like a knife being twisted in his gut. He felt Alice's sad gaze follow him, and schooling his features, Edward turned back to her, his face blank.

"I smell bobcat on the wind."

"I know." Alice whispered. "Me too."

Their hunt was quiet and brutal, both of them killing with unnecessary force that stained their clothes with blood. If Edward had possessed the ability to cry he would have, long, satisfying sobs that would sate him more then the rich blood he had craved so badly just a few hours earlier. As they finished, their eyes lightening and their moods lifting slightly, Edward slumped down onto the cold wet grass, looking up at the spectacle of the stars. He felt Alice come down beside him, her head leaning gently against his arm.

"Edward." She said softly. "I think that Carlisle is worried about something."

"Me." Edward replied reasonably. Alice shook her head.

"No. Don't you feel it? There's another one of us nearby, and something else coming. Carlisle knows, that's why we came back."

Edward gazed at his sister in confusion.

"Can't you see?"

Alice frowned.

"Everything's distorted. Who or whatever it is, is stopping me, blinding me. But I can still feel it in my gut, something big."

As Edward closed his eyes and listened to the rustling of the breeze, he felt somehow unreasonably disappointed. As if he had expected to hear some unnatural roar or scream over the quiet. Was his agony clouding his mind so effectively that he was simply oblivious to the unrest Alice seemed to feel so acutely? He felt no urge to rise up from his bed of grass and earth; instead he went back to studying the constellations, only the feeling of Alice's superficial breath constant against him. He barely noticed the falling rain.

--

AN: Bella's brown eyes teared up in relief as she saw the beautiful form of her fiancé entering her room.

"Where have you been?" She asked, voice breaking traitorously.

Edward covered the room with the two long strides; he captured her in his arms and buried his face in her long mahogany hair.

"I'm sorry… It hasn't been safe for me lately."

Bella's bottom lip trembled.

"Oh no!"

Edward kissed her tenderly, grazing her lips with his own.

"What happened?"

He pulled back at her question, an uncharacteristic surge of fear crossing his perfect features.

"Some crazy fan fiction writer has been following me around, threatening to write me into slash fiction with Jasper and Emmett."

"Good god!" Bella squeaked. "The foundations of our world would crumble. Did she say what she wanted?"

"All she said was… Press the lavender button and review!"


	3. So Quick, Bright Things

Daylight saw Bella pacing across the hard wood floors, her eyes dulled in complex thought

AN: Thankyou to Christiane and Phantom-Writer3739, the only two people who reviewed (:(). Please, please people READ AND REVIEW!! Happy, Edward cookies for those who do.

Also, I'm noticing that the chapters are ending up longer then I originally planned and thus the story will have significantly less. Do you, as readers, prefer longer chapters or chapters of about 2000-2500 words?

_--_

_She should have died hereafter;_

_There would have been time for such a word._

_Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow_

_Creeps in this petty pace from day to day_

_To the last syllable of recorded time;_

_And all our yesterdays have lighted fools_

_The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!_

_Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player_

_That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,_

_And then is heard no more. It is a tale_

_Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,_

_Signifying nothing._

_Macbeth- Scene V_

--

Daylight saw Bella pacing across the hard wood floors, her eyes dulled in complex thought. She had arrived home before midnight, her lithe, brilliant form hidden from curious eyes that might wonder why she was slipping into the abandoned house once owned by the chief of police. Bella wasn't always so lucky; a handful of sightings fuelled the folk legends of the town, stories about ghosts, spirits and the more radical, _vampires_.

Today it wasn't anxiety that schooled Bella's expression into a hard line, no it was something else, the intriguing yet somehow repellent stench of another vampire.

A shiver ran its way down her spine.

She hadn't used the majority of Charlie's home since her first death; it had been too painful, too disrespectful to survive in a house that had once been so much of a home. The only room of use was her old bedroom, still unchanged, the faded blue bedspread and the cloudy, cracked vanity like an eerie backward door through time. If Bella had cared to stop pacing long enough to stare at herself in the mirror, a practice that had (ironically) practically ceased since her change, the contrast in her looks would still have astounded her. It was some how artful the concept of Bella, this new Bella, this decayed, magnificent version of Bella, walking around in Charlie's house, the house which was home of family dinners, Christmas', cold kisses, dreams, life. She wondered if the original Bella was still noticeable in her beautiful, perfectly symmetrical features.

With a growl too savage to be human, Bella grabbed her coat and decided to go for a walk, another rare occurrence in the life of Isabella Swan. She knew that some Forks alum still resided in the town, some that might even recognize her if they looked hard enough. Her presence alone, unchanged over seven years would have been enough to raise serious suspicion. So for the most part Bella lay low on the floors of her old bedroom and in the hissing, chirping, growing forests of Mount Rainier.

Except occasionally she got restless.

In her shapeless layers of hoodies, army coats and combat boots, no body cared enough to look closer, and if they had she doubted they would recognize her twice, her trips to town where too infrequent. The rain that poured from the sky only made her disguise more impenetrable.

Honestly Bella enjoyed the rain, the feeling of being purged by something bigger then herself, or her unrequited love. So there was no regret when she stepped outside, soaked to the bone in icy water within a moment. She revelled instead, in the anonymity of streets, loosing herself in the hurried crowds. She let her feet carry her mindlessly and quickly through backstreets and the crowded town square, her feet against the pavement silent.

Bella wasn't sure what made her walk past Fork High, maybe, like Forks it self, it appealed to whatever part of her human self remained, and so with out even realising it Bella suddenly felt herself wake up to her surroundings. The car park of Forks High looked almost exactly the same, seemingly (like her) unchanged in over fifty years. its familiarity hit her hard, but pleasantly. The smallest of smiles spread across Bella's face. So many good memories, so many bad ones, ones that she had buried so far into her subconscious she knew she might never relive them again. Her smile wilted again as she protected herself from the strain of nostalgia burrowing it self in her heart.

The sound of a door slamming rattled Bella's senses, and her fingers, wrapped around the wire fence, hardened. She turned slightly, her wet hair pushed behind her ears, and gasped.

In a million years, Bella had not expected to suddenly be staring into eyes that she was now staring into; if she had she would have run, run hard along time ago.

He recognized her in the same moment she recognized him, despite the differences in her stature and appearance. His mouth slackened and his eyes seemed to bulge impossibly. She saw his lips form a single word of surprise.

"No…"

Guiltily Bella, paused helplessly and drunk in the presence she had longed for. Her human memories didn't do him justice; he was far lovelier in reality. Her vampire senses threw his beauty into harsh relief, as if a camera lense inside her was just now focusing. His coppery hair still hung in a casual, tousled, elegant style that Edward seemed barely aware of, his eyes still glittered with deep, indefinable emotions, and his lips, although pale, looked so soft and kissable Bella almost lost it right then and did something insane. His beauty was painful in its intensity, more so the knowledge affirmed by just one glance at him- that Bella Swan was still undeniably, impossibly in love with Edward Cullen.

This took two and half seconds to process and then she was gone. Flitting away so fast that to Edward she knew she must have simply disappeared. When finally she came to a stop in the trees that hedged her house in, she let herself fall, gracefully but helplessly to the ground. His face lingered in her sensory memory, burned on her irises like a tattoo. He had not followed her and she did not, consciously, want him to. She couldn't have beared to have him see her like this, to catch his derisive, pitying gaze. Bella had never felt her inability to produce tears more keenly then she did now, kneeling in the grass, her shock and grief coming out in loud, vicious dry sobs. Behind the wall constructed by madness, her mind continued to whirl, her natural survival instinct already concocting contingency plans and new paths to flee. She would have to leave now, run away, so far that she would forget everything that happened in Forks past or present. She would feed on the most savage animals in the country, until she had been half ripped apart and was sated completely with the blood running down her throat. Bella's screams echoed across Fork's streets, like a harmed bear or broken wolf. Her despair cut at her throat and twisted her face, but still Bella cried.

She would continue for some time.

--

For a moment, time for Edward Cullen stood still. He had been so late to school, so caught up in his own weariness and sorrow that he had not noticed the slight, shapeless figure until she was feet away from him. Then he had looked up into her eyes, seen her face illuminated by day and untouched by time; that was the moment everything Edward thought he had known had fallen apart.

He was not aware of his own mouth or limbs, too engrossed in the study of hers. Her face, the face of Bella Swan, twisted in surprise and recognition, her naturally blushed lips contrasting brilliantly against her pale skin like an actualised Snow White. He stood too still, trying to memorise her face again, trying to match it up with the memory he had of the eighteen year old girl he had left behind. Most of all he wondered… Was Bella Swan a vampire?

Then, as suddenly as Bella had appeared, she was gone and Edward was left wondering if he was going mad. Surely he couldn't have imagined her so lucidly, so radiantly, more so, surely he couldn't have conjured up that unmistakable expression of pain that passed over Bella's lovely face. All he had ever wanted to see was the sight of Bella happy.

Was this another manifestation of his guilt and self-loathing? Was Edward doomed to see the frightened, pained eyes of his lover for the rest of eternity? No, he couldn't. If that was true he was definitely go to the Volturi this time. Death would be such a welcomed relief.

Perhaps that was why had seen her so vividly, maybe she was beckoning him forward towards the eventuality that he had sidestepped his entire existence. Had he been denying too long that he was not long for this world, for her world?

_Dying is not your fate Edward. _

Thoughts of Alice, Esme, Cecily, Rose, Emmett, Carlisle and Jasper sobered him quickly like a bucket of cold water over his head. He had promised both Esme and Carlisle that he wouldn't contemplate death any more, and he wouldn't break that promise to them while his sanity remained. His family needed him and Bella… He had already failed Bella in the worst possible way.

He leaned against his silver Mercedes, shock winding him and grounding him. Everything was quiet, a tense and expectant quiet that raised goose bumps over his skin. For a moment, as he though back to the beautiful girl who had been so familiar in both body and soul, for a moment Edward wondered if maybe it had been real. He wished he had had the presence of mind to race up to her, place a hand on her cheek and know of her substance. Was it fear that disabled him? To suspend belief: if it had been Bella looking back at him though frightened eyes, then she was most certainly a vampire and she most certainly hated him.

His phone chirped at his hip suddenly and Edward started, before bringing it to his ear.

"Edward?"

It was Alice, irritation clear even in her melodious tone.

"Yes Alice?"

A few words were all he could manage. Bella's face, distorted by her change, still burned behind his eyelids.

"Edward where the hell are you? You're meant to be in my first period music class."

Music. Right. Edward mumbled an affirmation into the phone and hung up. He began to move to class in long, languid strides, his body relaxing to its usual readied state. It hurt unbearably to think about forgetting Bella, and Edward had sworn that he would not, but privately he knew that it was a matter of importance that he forget this incident at least. No good could come of it.

--

By the time Bella drew herself over her own windowsill and landed gently on the floor of her bedroom, the tears had ceased. Rational thought was beginning to infiltrate the general hysteria brought on by Edward's presence as Bella began to contemplate what came next. Her natural inclination to run tugged at her heels and screamed at her to get going, but something deeper, some traitorous remainder of her human life, cooed gently for her to stay.

Edward was here, she marvelled suddenly, for better or for worst after fifty nine years of wondering how he was, Edward had been right in front of her eyes. For a moment Bella allowed herself to be seventeen again, falling back onto the bed with a wistful little sigh.

Someone cleared their throat.

Bella sat up with an unintentional shout of surprise. She realised that if she had been of sound mind she would definitely have noticed the sweet, strong, sordid stench of a cigarette wafting through the rooms of her home. The tall, rigid figure leaning against her door way was now studying her in curiosity; a sly grin in place upon features as perfect as her own. Her shock subsided as recognition set in once again.

"I see this is a day of unexpected reunions. If I had known I think I might have gone shopping."  
The red smile widened considerably.

"Bella I can't remember the last time you went shopping."

"Why didn't you tell me you where here?"  
Jonathan Stone reached absently into his breast pocket and pulled out a slight squashed packet of long, expensive cigarettes. His expression was thoughtful.

"You looked like you needed some time alone. It's a good general rule of thumb never to interrupt a vampire temper tantrum."

If she could have blushed, she would have and Bella was sure it was obvious on her face. Slowly getting to her feet, Bella launched herself at her sire, burying her face in his chest.

"What are you doing here?"

She felt his long cold fingers stroking her hairline, and his chest rose and fell with a muffled sigh.

"I heard a rumour that an old friend of mine would be returning to Forks with his family."

Bella stepped back and looked up at her friend with a frown.  
"You know Carlisle?"

"Jasper actually, although 'friend' may be a slightly radical term to use. Mostly I just came for the front seat view of the final act."

Bella's eyes narrowed. She had a good, innate sense of when Jonathan had mischief on his mine, and that sense was flaring tremendously. It was always dangerous when Jon decided to put on his cryptic act.

"The final act? You're awfully cryptic today."

She stiffened as Jon took out a cigarette and slid it into his mouth, lighting it and inhaling smoke in one motion.

"You know how much I detest it when you smoke Jonathan. Please refrain from doing it in my house."

The smoke was exhaled from his mouth in slow, lazy blobs and Jonathan simply blinked at his childe. Bella wrinkled her nose as cigarette smoke wafted up her nostrils.

"Charming."

"I do my best my Bella-Donna."

Bella sniffed and gazed at him rather coldly. Jonathan simply grinned at her obnoxiously, he was aware of how much his nickname irritated her, and yet she was readily aware that he would, in all probability, continue using it for the rest of their eternal acquaintance.

"What do you mean final act?"

"You'll find out."

Bella turned her back to him and chose instead to glare outside the window at grey streets. She fiddled mindlessly with the tips of her dark hair.

"So…" Jonathan's voice was low and grave, an unconscious shiver ran down Bella's spine. "Edward Cullen knows finally after all this time that you are alive."

"Yes."

Her tone was unconsciously short, although Bella wasn't bothered enough to regret it. She knew, on that first day when Jon had changed her, what he had seen in her heart. So she also knew that Jonathan though her particularly foolish to have avoided Edward and the Cullen's for so long, or perhaps exceptionally stupid to fall in love with Edward in the first place. He at least could be pleased with the current situation.

"Did you speak to him? At least tell me that he knows where to find you."

Bella sneered as Jon took another long drag of his cigarette, the smoke dispelling in a long, thin thread through the gap of Jonathan's front teeth.

"I'm afraid I didn't wait long enough for a reunion."  
Jonathan shook his head sadly.

"You are very strange Bella. Do you know if he followed you? He may be quite chagrined to discover me in your room, I may have to leave."

Her eyes where still locked onto the zigzagging silhouettes of the roofs of the houses across the street. She bit at her lip cautiously.

"He didn't follow me. Edward is the fastest vampire I have ever encountered, and I'm sure that it would've been well in his ability to follow me if he had wished it so."

Jonathan simply chuckled.

"I'm sure he was simply shocked. You are after all meant to be somewhat deader then you appear to be, and sometime Bella, you do tend to… Dazzle people."

Bella felt her lips twitch into a smile as she recalled herself saying those same words to someone entirely different more then half a century ago. Jonathan seemed to have a natural gift of putting his foot straight through the point.

"How long are you staying?" She asked quietly.

Bella wondered how much more difficult Jonathan's presence would make the Cullen situation. She contemplated asking him how he knew Jasper, and then decided against it. She wasn't sure if she would like the answer.

"I'm not sure yet. How long are you?"

Bella turned at cocked her head at Jonathan, who was staring at her inquisitively. In that moment Bella decided that she would not leave Forks. Who was Edward to chase her from her home? It appeared that he had no interest in talking to her anyway, and if by chance their paths crossed again then perhaps the closure would be good for her. What kind of vampire was she anyway? Who still mourned for their high school boyfriend with the rest of eternity in front of them? Bella set her jaw in resolve.

"Who says I'm leaving?"

"No one I suppose. I'm very glad you feel that way."

Jonathan and Bella stood silently for a few moments, both absorbed in their own thoughts. Bella knew that Jonathan was itching to ask the answers to the questions he had had about Bella's past, now more then ever, but past practice had taught him that these questions meant emotional shut down and thus, where better left alone. She was not willing to confide in Jonathan about her relationship with Edward, or indeed the Cullen's. Jonathan may have been her best vampire friend, but she was also aware he was not to be trusted. He was much too intelligent for his own good.

Jonathan's sigh broke through her thoughts and her eyes snapped up to attend to his.

"So…" He asked pleasantly. "Where shall I be staying?"

--

Edward was well aware of the strange looks he was receiving from Alice as he traipsed down the hall beside her. He had been unusually quiet, even for him, and then there was the piece he had chosen to play for the teacher… He was positive Alice was under the impression he was going insane, and he wasn't prepared to prove her right.

Alice on the other hand had other plans.

"You're acting very oddly Edward."

Edward looked at her innocently.

"I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about. Anyway, the females in this family seem to be under the impression I am constantly acting strangely."

Alice's lips tilted in a half grin.

"That's true." She threaded her fingers through her short crop of hair. "I'm still perplexed. Sometimes, Edward, I fall into the habit of believing you are totally predictable and then you do something that is completely extraordinary and I realise I barely know you at all."

"How deep."

"I do try, thank you."

Their conversation faltered for a few hopeful minutes as they strolled down the corridor. Then Alice spoke up again.

"I can't remember the last time I heard you play that composition. I was under the impression I would never hear it again."

Edward couldn't explain to Alice why inspiration to play Bella's lullaby to a grade of bored adolescents had struck him, not with out confirming her suspicions that he was utterly insane. The figure of Bella standing outside the school, her white fingers entwined in the wire, still haunted him.

"Perhaps it's Forks that puts me into such a strange mood." He paused and gave Alice a significant look. "You know Rosalie doesn't ask half as many questions as you do. I don't need to be psychoanalysed thank you very much."

Alice scowled nastily.

"Don't push me Edward, or I'll tell Cecily the whole story, next time she asks me for a fairytale."

They came to a stop as Edward's eyes narrowed into a glare.

"You wouldn't."

"You can read my mind. You tell me."

Edward contemplated being honest. Perhaps he was looking at it the wrong way; perhaps an objective insight would clarify things. If anyone would understand after all, Alice would. Or maybe she would think he was crazy. His eyes performed a perfect pirouette.

"You'll think I'm mad."

"I already think you're mad." Alice said good naturedly as they continued walking to the lunchroom. "I doubt one more thing will make any difference."

Edward steeled himself for her reaction as he felt the words forming on his tongue, This was _so_ not a good idea.

"The thing is Alice… The thing is… Before class when I first arrived at school, I thought…" He faltered and avoided Alice's unnerving curiosity. "I thought I saw Bella."

"Oh." For some reason Alice seemed to consider this quite anti-climatic. "Well that's to be expected."

Edward shook his head vehemently and he stoped Alice before they could enter the canteen. This was not a conversation he wanted the forums opinion on.

"You don't understand. I've had visions of Bella before: her laugh, her voice, her smile, but this… This seemed so _real_. It didn't even occur to me that it might not be real until she was gone. Plus…" Edward was definitely uncomfortable at this point of the conversation. "She was kind of a vampire."

This definitely got Alice's full attention.

"Oh…" Alice frowned thoughtfully. "So either you have a serious masochistic streak or Bella, at some point, was made into one of us."

"No." Edward said quickly. "I would have known. I mean, at the very least you would have seen something like this."

"Maybe not." The crinkle in Alice's forehead deepened, and her warm, honeysuckle eyes darkened considerably. "Bella was a true original, if her immunity to your own power had developed with her change… Perhaps she is simply immune to mine too."

Edward repressed the burgeoning hope in his chest as soon as he recognized it. Hoping that Bella had been ripped down in her prime and recreated into a… thing, that was selfish. He loved her enough to _hope_ she was resting in peace and to _wish_ that she where beside him for eternity.

"I'm not sure what I saw Alice."

"But…"

"Please Alice. Let it go."

Alice's chin rose sharply in response to the soft, pleading tones in Edward's voice. He winced at the impact of Alice's icy gaze, but did not back down.

"You're being stupid. You are a masochist, and you're… being really stupid."

"Maybe I am." Edward shrugged. "Or maybe I'm trying to move past this wretched day and this insipid delusion. I'm done Alice, I have to start moving on."

Alice stood still as a statue for a long moment of disgust. Edward took her hand in his and held it gently against his non-beating heart. He felt Alice soften.

"Please Alice. This will kill me."

Alice took her hand away, and with out looking at him in the eyes, nodded.

"We should go. The others are waiting."

Edward understood as he followed Alice to their table that this was the best he could hope for. This memory, like Bella, would fade.

--

"**Edward!" Bella snapped. **

**Edward's glazed eyes snapped sharply back to reality, and he looked at his girlfriend apologetically.**

"**Sorry Love." He said sadly, pecking her on the check. "I can't help it."**

**Across the room Jasper talked animatedly with Emmett, Bella watched Edward's eyes quickly return back to him, as if drawn rudely by a magnet. He looked at them with a strange hungry, wistful expression.**

"**Edward!" She yelled again. **

**--**


	4. Alice And Rosalie Down The Rabbit Hole

People

AN: Ok, so I'm back with the forth chapter… which if you think about it is quite a biggie :). I think you'll enjoy it. Quite a few things a revealed in this chapter, firstly Bella's power (psh, you didn't think I'd leave _Bella Swan_ an ordinary vamp). It won't be entirely explained for quite a while, but this chapter contains a pretty hefty clue.

Secondly there will be some CullenBella interaction… of some sort grins wickedly. Kinda. Stay tuned folks.

AN2: RE: Phantom-writer3739. Yes, awesome! I love the metaphor and since I still have the epilogue to write, with your permission I'll probably use it. I had no idea there was a plant called Belladonna.

--

_People_

_They don't mean a thing to you_

_They move right through you_

_Just like your breath_

_But sometimes_

I still think of you

_And I just wanted to_

_Just wanted you to know_

_My old friend..._

_I swear I never meant for this_

_I never meant..._

The Bravery, An Honest Mistake

--

For seven days neither Bella nor Edward's life altered significantly. For Bella, Jonathan's company was enough to annoy her to distraction. He seemed perfectly content to hang around Forks until, as he had muttered rather ominously, the final act of Bella's performance worked itself out.

Edward on the other hand did not have the luxury of distraction.

So by the time Edward walked into his fathers office, his eyes dark and his mouth hardened into an impossibly grim expression, his mood by definition, sucked. He folded his body sloppily into the chair looking over Carlisle's desk and glared as only a vampire could glare.

"Trouble?"

Carlisle looked up at him in surprise, his handsome features knitting together.

"Should there be? Have we really reached the stage in our lives where the only time you permit yourself to speak to me is when something bad is threatening the family?"

Edward immediately felt awful. It wasn't Carlisle's fault that he was in a bad mood.

"Of course not." He replied, his voice warmed by several degrees. "Alice is worried."

Carlisle relaxed and his usual smile overtook the concern that marred perfection.

"That is a coincidence. I just saw Alice, and she came to me worried about you."

Edward scowled heavily.

"I don't want to talk about it."

Carlisle shrugged with feigned indifference.

"I told her you would say that, but I thought it was imperative for you to have the opportunity…"

"Pass." Edward interrupted icily. "Although I will make it a point to let Alice know where else she can stick that nose."

An awkward silence hung between father and son as Edward tried vainly to ignore the pity in Carlisle's eyes. It pained Edward to realise strain in his relationship with Carlisle, but he was sure it would be a great deal more painful to tell him the truth.

Finally Carlisle cleared his throat, deciding upon something and looked to Edward for his attention.

"I fear that something is arise in the reservation."

Edward mirrored Carlisle's thoughtful expression.

"You said you where concerned about the treaty. Is that why we came back?"  
"Yes and no, I suppose."

Carlisle gave his son an apologetic half smile.

"There have been rumours about certain restlessness in the…" Carlisle faltered and looked mildly embarrassed. "La Push werewolf population."

"Werewolves? I didn't realise…"

Carlisle looked distinctly sheepish at this point.

"No neither did I actually, I was under the impression that the gene had died out with Ephraim Black, but apparently…" Edward gazed at his father curiously, he was almost positive that if Carlisle could have gone red with embarrassment, he would have. "This generation of werewolves remain from when we frequented Forks _last time_. You may remember Jacob Black…"

There was too much awkwardness in Carlisle's tone for him to have told Edward the full truth.

"Should we have known that there were werewolves prowling the reserves while we were here?"

"Yes, I suppose. They were for the most part dormant until after we… left."

Edward swallowed softly but his face to Carlisle remained as smooth as stone. Carlisle's golden eyes only studied Edward for a moment before he continued.

"The dilemma we face now is the unusual werewolf activity. The only reason I could phantom for this kind of behaviour is another vampire on their territory."

Edward nodded slowly. "Is Jacob Black still the Alpha? Perhaps we should organize a conference."

"Actually." Carlisle said sharply. "Jacob Black died some time ago. He stopped phasing at some point and died of natural causes."

There was something that Edward couldn't decipher in Carlisle's tone, something that was being deliberately kept from his fathers' thoughts. He pressed one sharp tooth against the cool flesh of his lip and studied his father under the cover of his eyelids.

"Why would Black stop phasing?"

Carlisle cleared his throat.

"My source is… unreliable, but as far as I can tell Jacob Black began to resent his other nature after the…" Edward knew it was coming moments before Carlisle voiced it, and his entire body shuddered pathetically. "…Death of a dear friend."

There was no need to ask to whom Carlisle referred to. Edward straightened with a hiss of escaping air, his face crumpling for a single moment into a mask of inexpressible anguish. He pulled himself, with unusual carelessness, to his feet.

"I'm going to join Jasper and Rosalie on their hunting trip." He said blandly. "Please keep me updated when you find out more."

"You know I will." Carlisle said softly.

Edward was already out the door. He felt like he was doing this too much lately, running away from his family. Yet the remainder of what his inability to protect Bella had cost… it was too much. As he gazed out into the misty countryside he half expected to see Bella again, her eyes pleading with him, and hating him, and loving him.

But no slim, pale figure immerged and Edward almost hated himself for being sorry.

--

If Rosalie had not arrived fifteen minutes early for class, then Bella might have escaped notice by the Cullen family forever; fortunately however Rosalie did arrive to her Literature class on time, and she was present fifty minutes later to ferry her information on to her brother.

Edward frowned as he strode into the cafeteria. The conspiratorial expressions on his sister's faces, both Rosalie and Alice practically buzzing with excitement, might have warned him that something was up, if the identical recitals of French verbs had not. Cecily's absence was also suspect.

His tray landed on the table with a clang and Edward's eyebrows arched decadently at Alice.

"I can not _believe_ you told her Alice Cullen."

Alice's expression balanced between sloppily disguised excitement and hardly sincere bashfulness.

"Like you're even surprised."

Rosalie sniffed at Edward and when she spoke her tone was icy.

"It's your own fault Edward, you should have told us anyway. It's hardly fair that you get to be the only member of the Cullen household with secrets."

"This didn't concern you." Edward hissed. "I was embarrassed, ok? Frequent delusions of an ex girlfriend kind of point to a not of right mind sort of complex."

Rosalie looked smug.

"News flash Edward, we've lived with you for a century and a half now. We get that you're 'not of right mind'.

Alice rolled her eyes, although to which sibling her irritation was directed was a matter of interpretation, and laid one slim hand upon Rosalie's back.

"Rose, tell Edward what you told me."

Rosalie didn't bother vocalising the memory, her recall was sharper and more defined then her words could be. Her eyelids fluttered shut and Edward's own eyes closed too as he saw her memory as clearly as if he had lived it himself.

The two boys who sat in front of Rosalie during her Literature class were both tall and gangly, their voices and hands rough from time spent learning trades of men from their fathers. Rosalie was eavesdropping more out of sheer character then any necessity or interest but when the two boys had mentioned the house of the former police chief, she had listened hard.

"Dad said he saw some girl sneaking around the back way of Chief Swan's old place… " The darker of the two boys had begun. Both his friend and Rosalie had leaned forward unwittingly, curiosity peaking interest in the conversation.

"Did he check it out?"

"Yeah, nobody was there. One of the beds looked slept in but."

"Squatters." The lighter haired boy had exclaimed, his voice sharp with criticism. Whether out of respect for Charlie's memory or out of respect for some other presence entirely it seemed that Forks had unanimously considered the old Swan residence out of bounds.

"Or ghosts…" The dark haired young man's voice was teasing, but underneath layers of mockery Rosalie recognized something not unlike fear.

"Scared of the monsters under your bed Rob?"

Rob had sneered at his friend with the best of his ability gained in seventeen years.

"Not me."

Rosalie's memory became garbled and irrelevant but for a moment Edward didn't open his eyes, he sat, a marble Adonis in Forks Cafeteria, his mind almost entirely wiped clean.

Then his eyes opened and he looked with amazing calm, back at his two sisters.

"Coincidence."

Alice didn't go red with frustration, because, well, she couldn't, but if she had possessed the ability she probably would have resembled some sort of tomato at that moment.

"A pretty big one if you ask me."

"I didn't."

"You should."

Alice was on her feet with a glare that could cut steel. She took Rosalie and pulled her up beside her.

"Don't go to that house, Alice."

Edward warned, his eyes dark.

Alice snorted indelicately and stomped off, leaving Edward to sit alone.

"Alice! I mean it!" Edward called after her; oblivious to the curious looks he was beginning to get from the student body.

He didn't need to read Alice's mind to know he was being ignored.

--

For her own part Bella had only a moments warning that the Cullen's were re-entering her life. Had she arrived home from hunting sooner then she might have recognized the two feminine scents soon enough to flee.

Yet fate intervened again, trapping Bella in the secret compartment she had designed inside her wall. More glad then ever that she was able to conceal her scent.

The few seconds that stretched between the Cullen's re entry into her life felt like an eternity, and Bella was unprepared for the flurry of emotions that hit her as Alice and Rosalie's scents grew stronger and closer. Anger, nostalgia, love, despair, disappointment, longing; Bella knew that it was only her vampire biology that was expunging tears from her eyes.

The two vampiresses slipped almost soundlessly through Bella's bedroom window, an action that reminded Bella eerily and painfully of Edward. She could picture in her minds eye both the willowy blonde and the elfin brunette as perfectly as if she were eighteen again, and for a moment she was tempted to reveal herself if only too see them once again illuminated by the moonlight.

"_Bella."_

She heard Alice call in a half whisper. "Bella are you there?"

Bella smiled as she heard Rosalie sigh in irritation.

"Alice use your brain, she knows we're in town and she hasn't tried to contact us. If she really was here she probably wouldn't answer."

"No." Alice said, a hard edge of conviction colouring her voice. "Bella wouldn't hide from me."

Bella's smile faded as quickly as it had appeared. She was mortified, and now she was horribly guilty. She hopped that Alice never found out that she had been only feet away. There was a soft shuffle of feet on hardwood floors and then Rosalie spoke again.

"Well _something_ has been living here. I can smell whoever it is on everything."

Alice's voice was very soft.

"I don't smell Bella. It's someone else. Edward was right."

Apart from the usual flinch that accompanied Edward's name, Bella was unsure how to react to Alice's last statement. Had he not recognized her? Had he simply not cared?

Even from behind her hidden door, Bella heard the despair and disappointment in Alice's sigh. She knew that Alice at least had missed her and remembered her, and for that Bella knew a part of her would always love Alice best of all.

"Do you want to leave?"

Rosalie's voice was uncharacteristically sympathetic.

"I suppose… I was just so hoping… Weren't you?"

Rosalie's silence stretched between, unknown to the two Cullens, all three of them. Bella's stomach dropped in unreasonable disappointment.

"You weren't?" Alice's voice was sharp and Rosalie huffed in indignation.

"Of _course_ I was. You think I don't miss… everything; but be reasonable Alice, Carlisle told us that people are dying in Forks. You think I, any of us, want Bella to live like that."

Bella's stomach turned with an emotion very unlike disappointment. Fear? Confusion? She was sure she had just turned a shade paler. How could she have been unaware that people where dying on her own turf? How was it possible she had been that disassociated? She thought of nameless bodies, ripped up by an animal more vicious then bear or wolf and understood, not for the first time in her short life, Edward's self-loathing. She understood what it meant to be a monster. She knew that no matter the perpetrator of the killings she would be able to condemn them little more then Jon, Lilly or Viv; she lived with the knowledge that her own beast, constantly screaming for human blood, meant that it could have easily been her that slipped, hidden by thick forest.

Speaking of Jon.

With a jolt Bella recognized her sire's presence closing in on the house, and it seemed before she could blink that a third voice male voice joined the soft, quarrelling, female ones.

"Well, well. I wasn't aware I had guests."

Jonathan's voice was specifically mild, calmer and more docile then even Carlisle. Yet Bella had lived with him long enough to know Jon had a mean streak that was both unpredictable and ferocious. She knew he was probably well aware she was eavesdropping; the hidden annex had been his idea after all. She probably couldn't count on him to keep her identity a secret.

"Who the hell are you and what are you doing here?"

Alice's voice was hard and demanding, and through the wall Bella heard Jonathan chuckle at her tone. Bella had to admit that the idea of 5 foot 4 Alice threatening big bad vampire Jonathan bordered on comical, although the reality would probably be less funny. Alice was, after all, Edward's sister and Edward was nothing if not lethal.

"_I _am Jonathan Stone and I have express permission to be here. Unlike, I assume, you."

'The _real_ owner of this house wouldn't mind us being here."

"Really." Bella knew both parties well enough to picture the scene, despite the completely frustrating obstacle of the wall. Jon's tone was still pleasant, but his undertone less so. She imagined his eyes narrowing. "Are you sure about that Alice Cullen?"

Bella pictured Alice flinching in surprise, a soft gasp escaping her throat. She could see the prouder, scarier Rosalie tensing suspiciously.

"Mind reader?"

Rosalie's voice was carefully smooth.

"Not in this circumstance, no. We have mutual… acquaintances."

The unmistakeable stench of cigarette smoke meant that Jon had lit one of his vile cigarettes. Bella heard him pacing carefully and rolled her eyes, Jonathan always had possessed a flair for the dramatic.

"Your eyes are yellow." Rosalie commented, her voice thick with distain for Jon's smoking. "You follow our diet?"

"Most of the time." Bella knew with out seeing that Jonathan's eyes were lighting up and his lips were twisting in an innately predatory way. "My reasons are less noble then your own, so I do allow myself to… cheat occasionally."

"You've been 'cheating' on our land and it's causing some problems."

Bella had already considered and discarded the idea of Jon being the mysterious vampire killing in the Forks countryside. His eyes where a deep golden after all, showing no signs of human blood, not to mention any killing in Bella's hometown would be a direct insult. As much as Jonathan despaired of her, Bella knew he valued her companionship as much as she did his.

"I haven't but I agree somebody has. Perhaps you will let me know when you discover who, I assume I may be staying in Forks for a while yet."

Rosalie snorted softly. A tense sort of quiet fell awkwardly over the three vampires. For one long minute the only noise was Jon's feet clicking against the hardwood floors of Bella's bedroom. Then, abruptly, Jon stopped and addressed Alice.

"How is your brother, by the way Alice? Edward."

Bella's body tensed, and her lips shaped into a silent growl of contempt. She heard the unmistakable sounds of surprise and unease coming from Alice and Rosalie as well.

"How do you know my brother?"

"Your brother has had a very… extraordinary impact on the life of an old friend. You, I assume, know to whom I refer. He was everywhere in her mind, absolutely everywhere, I've never seen anything like it. Edward Cullen truly intrigues me."

Bella stood completely motionless, waiting to be exposed.

"Bella… You know Bella?" Alice's voice was excited and impatient. "So she's alive?"  
"She… was. She remembered you very fondly Alice Cullen, although I'm not sure that were she here today she would agree with me."

Bella relaxed slightly in the confined space. Jon was having so much fun play the cryptic she doubted the idea of exposing her was even entering his head.

"You do read minds then?"

"No. I'm more of a spiritual whore. I see the very thing that you want most. Parlour trick for most, but not for all, Bella for instance found it very useful." Jon paused, and chuckled softly. "I suppose I am a curiosity for you. I'm talking a lot but answering none of the questions you want answered. It's very rude of me actually."

"Why do you refrain from drinking human blood?" Rosalie blurted out. It was a very Rosalie inquiry and Bella was sure she wasn't the only immortal in the room rolling her eyes.

Jon's laughter intensified.

"I enjoy the company of humans. An over indulgence of my eating habits would get in the way of that?"

"You enjoy the company of humans?" Alice repeated incredulously. "And what is that suppose to mean."

Bella had already heard the explanation of this question before. It was after all one of the first questions she had asked him.

"Mortals are… interesting. They want many things. They wish impossibly and fiercely. They are unpredictable… It is very rare for one of us to want something more ardently then human blood. It takes a very special kind of vampire."

An uneasy silence hung in the room as these words sunk in.

"If it makes you feel better, you all want something more then you want blood. I suppose your model of self-control is responsible for that particular anomaly. Your brother Edward though, I can hear him _screaming. _Exquisite, I never heard a need like it. Except well…" Jon paused meaningfully and Bella winced. "Once."

Bella wondered if Jon had added that for her benefit. It seemed unlikely that Edward would have that kind of passion for a girl he had left with mere second thought. It was impossible that Edward loved her the same painful, beautiful way she loved him. Wasn't it?

No, Bella shook her head, she had spent the better part of sixty years acclimatizing her self to the fact she was alone, Edward's presence couldn't, wouldn't, change that.

Alice's tiny voice broke through her reverie.

"He's very… sad."

"It's a terrible thing to loose a mate. Rarely do we recover."

Bella shut her eyes in a hopeless attempt to block Jon's mocking words. She hated him at this moment, both Jonathan and Edward; hated them.

Jonathan sniffed softly and Bella knew he was stiffening awkwardly.

"I apologize." He said politely to his audience. "I must ask you to leave. The sun is coming up soon and I was hoping to make it into the mountains before light."

Rosalie and Alice assented noiselessly, the soft scuff of feet on floor the only indication to Bella that they where leaving. She wasn't prepared for Alice's voice when it came; unexpectedly sharp even when directed to Jon.

'This isn't over."

"I assure you I never expected it to be."

Then both Rosalie and Alice where gone. Bella waited until their sounds disappeared entirely before opening her hidden door. Jon was waiting for her, an expression of supreme amusement colouring his pale face.

"I thought you might be listening. How very sly of you Bella."

Bella gave him a look that could have withered a rose.

"Don't talk to me."

Jonathan shrugged and strolled out of the door, his face still screening a satisfied grin. Bella flopped back down onto her bed with a pout.

"Philistine!"

From the other side of the house Bella heard Jon chuckle.

"Coward."

--

_Don't look at me that way_

_It was an honest mistake_

_Don't look at me that way_

_It was an honest mistake_

_An honest mistake_


	5. Fairytale For Cecily

AN: Hey guys

**AN: Hey guys! I hope you liked chapter five, I know I loved me some Alice and Rosalie action. This chapter is written entirely out of my own selfish little desires. From the beginning of this story, I wanted to write Edward or Bella explaining their love story to an OC and even though it's mostly filler, I've included it. :). **

**I've had a couple of questions about Jon's power, just to clarify- Jon is able to see what a person wants more then anything else. It's not a particularly practical power, but when Jon looked at Bella he saw that she wanted Edward and so he turned her into a vampire. He didn't see her want to be a vampire; it was just a means to an end. **

**Saying that, for aesthetic reasons I've done a little casting call for the OC's in this fic (god love 'em). I kept picturing Jon as Kyle Secor from Veronica Mars or Woman's Murder Club. Cecily, for lack of a better idea, is cast now as Gemma Ward.**

--

_The stars looked like burning sparks_

The lights were warm but chilling

_You left me feeling_

_Tired_

_Could not close my eyes_

_On fire_

_But frozen inside_

_To run or to hide_

_Speechless my words could not melt_

_Whisper I wanted to shout_

_With out you I felt-_

_Lisa Mitchell, Incomplete Lullaby_

_--_

From the moment Alice and Rosalie had arrived home, Edward had been studiously ignoring them.

It didn't take vampire telepathy to know that Alice and Rosalie had ignored him, or that they hadn't found Bella like they had so obviously (and ludicrously) expected. The events of the last hour were still vivid in both minds and now by association, Edwards, and yet he could not bring himself to care much about the mysterious vampire and his connection to Bella, he simply wished his sisters would stop thinking about it.

This loss of hope he did not know he possessed stung a hundred times worse then any vampire venom.

So now he was, for lack of a better word, sulking. In an attempt to put as much distance as possible between him-self and Alice, Edward had situated himself in the parlour used only by Esme, who was quietly flicking through a fashion magazine and periodically shooting him concerned looks. He preoccupied himself by lying motionless on his mother's delicate, antique couch, his Ipod stuffed into his ears. He listened to old songs over and over, so that their familiar melodies were so firmly encased within his mind that he was positive he could play them a thousand times over with out a single mistake. Yet the pain still remained and Rosalie and Alice's thoughts still ran through his head until finally Edward sat up with a growl.

Two perfect faces looked back at him with varied degrees of shock and exasperation.

"Cecily?" Edward frowned. "When did you come in?"

Cecily rolled her eyes, and pursed her plump lips irritably.

"I've been here for over half an hour Edward."

She exchanged a look with Esme who shook her head slightly.

"What's going on?"

Edward scowled.

"Going on?" He asked sullenly.

A bear would have been frightened away by the expression on his sisters face, stony as it was even Edward shuddered slightly. The hateful little glint in Cecily's eyes gave him the uncomfortable idea that she would persist.

"Don't deny that you've been in an awful mood ever since we arrived in Forks." Cecily growled. "What is it about this town that makes everybody brood?"

"I have no idea what you are referring to." Edward said stiffly.

"This is so unfair. We aren't meant to have secrets in this family and I'm the only one in the dark."

Cecily looked at Esme with appealing eyes. It was something of fact within the Cullen house hold that Esme was unable to deny her youngest daughter anything. Edward glared at his mother, but fell back resigned.

Yet Esme surprised him by simply shaking her head again and standing up.

"Cecily, you know Edward wouldn't keep anything to himself with out a reason. I wouldn't make him break his conviction even if I could."

Cecily's face dropped and she sneered fiercely in Edward's direction.

"Edward Darling." Edward looked up, disappointed to discover Esme wasn't done and she was directing the full strength of her pleading expression at him. "Cecily is right. We're not a family of secrets and this is one that hangs over us all. We keep it for you because it's your secret to keep, but did you ever consider it might be… therapeutic to explain to Cecily about…"

Esme snapped her mouth shut and swiftly, silently exited the room. Edward replaced his headphones with deliberation and counted to one thousand. He then took them out again and looked over to see his sister staring at him as unwaveringly as she had been one thousand seconds ago.

"Tell me." She demanded, then, as if seeing her mistake, her tone softened. "Please."

Edward sighed and scrunched his eyelids shut again. Esme was right, it was hardly fair for Cecily to be excluded from history that had such significance on the Cullen family, and despite the fact it was painful he knew that he was the only one who could give her the truth.

"Fine." He said softly, so much effort put into keeping her voice neutral it sounded deader then he was. "But not here. Let's go in the woods."

Cecily nodded but fizzled with nervous excitement. He made sure she was following him before darting into the covered hills.

"I'm sorry about this." Edward explained apologetically when he finally stopped beyond the perimeter of vampire hearing. "You can't imagine how much grief I'm going to get from Alice for telling you this. I would much rather prolong it."

"She doesn't want me to know?"

"Quite the opposite I'd expect, she's been hinting for me to do it for years."

Cecily nodded and her cherry glossed lips quirked into a smile.

"She's persistent is Alice."

Edward chuckled.

"Precisely."

The two siblings made themselves as comfortable as possible in the muddy, damp clearing Edward had chosen. For five minutes no one spoke and Edward was unsure that he ever would. How did one explain with any sense of eloquence the loss of true love? From the beginning he supposed, so that's where he began. Forks, 2005.

"To be completely and utterly blunt Cecily…" He began reluctantly. "You where never meant to be the eighth member of our family. For the years between Alice and Jasper's entry into our home and our return to Forks we believed to most extent we were complete. I know that Esme and Alice were disappointed I had never chosen a mate, but it failed to bother me in the way it bothered them, I was under the impression I was complete."

Edward stopped at this point and pressed his lips together as if he where planning to go no further. Cecily's face was twisted slightly in confusion as if looking back into the Cullen history and picturing the Edward of the early millennia.

"Bella…" His throat contracted slightly at the first mention of her name and Edward forced himself to continue. "Bella arrived in Forks about two years after we did. She was an immediate source of curiosity for the town. She was… beautiful, intelligent, novel, compelling, modest. Those things and the fact she was the daughter of the chief of police Charlie Swan made her an instant celebrity of sorts to the town folk, much to her… chagrin. I of course didn't expect to care very much about her arrival, for obvious reasons."

"As soon as I saw her I knew there was something different about her. Then I smelt her and I knew exactly what it was. She smelt… exquisite, intoxicating… It's very hard for me to put it into words. It was an almost undeniable odour and I almost took her right there in my biology class."

Cecily's cough sounded suspiciously like muffled laughter and Edward frowned impassively, eyes darkening slightly.

"Is there a problem?"  
"No not at all. I suppose it's quite strange to think of you that affected. Mr Cool."

Edward fought back a glare and dug his nails into his thighs.

"Bella was a rare phenomenon. Apparently the correct term is _il mio cantante_, my singer. Bella's blood… well it sung to _me_. She was fine bourbon to my alcoholism, heroin to my addiction. Totally and utterly irresistible."

"So you killed her then?"

Edward tensed crankily.

"Will you please just listen with out interrupting?"

"Sorry."

"There was a time at the beginning of my acquaintance with Bella that I was sure I would kill her any second. It seemed as if we where both living of the point of a knife that only I was aware of and at any moment we would both fall over the edge to both our undoing. I did my best to stay as far away as possible from Bella Swan and at first I succeeded."

"At first?"

Edward rolled his eyes. As he continued to talk it was getting progressively easier to say Bella's name. The words still chafed, ripped and pulled at tentatively sewn stiches, but it was better then he had imagined. In some ways it was as if the heart breaking, mind numbing disaster that he described had happened to someone else. Cecily was watching him with keen attention, like a child listening to a fairytale.

"Please stop interrupting Cecily." He chastised calmly and not unpleasantly. Cecily nodded.

"The vampire in me was screaming for Bella's blood and I knew that if I did not appease my humanity then Bella would be dead within the week. So I began to talk to Bella, to befriend her, and too soon I realised that the man in me had fallen in love with her; deeply, completely and irrevocably."

Edward was not willing to look up into Cecily's eyes at this moment and see her curiosity and surprise. He knew that for the first time in thirty–seven years he had rendered Cecily speechless.

"It didn't take long for Bella to figure out what I was. She was… stubborn, and relentless when she knew I was keeping something from her, and I couldn't bear to be as relentless myself as I should have been in making sure it was kept a secret. I expected terror to be the inevitable emotion and I was shocked when I received only curiosity and affection. I had been telling her to stay away from me for weeks in her own interest and I hardly expected her to want my company after discovering I was a monster. Yet she did, she accepted me as faultlessly as if I where as human as she. More so she loved me. Loved me with the full capacity of her human heart, just as I loved her."

Edward smiled softly despite himself, those early memories where happy ones. Untainted in a way many of the later ones where not.

"The absurdity of the very girl I had been so tempted to _devour_ on that first day trusting me above all others was unimaginable. Yet I promised myself I would never betray that trust. As much as Bella may have loved me, I loved her more, I loved her in a terrifying, passionate, tender, all consuming way that I was sure there was no way she reciprocated. After all I was what I was and Bella… Bella was perfect. Yet despite in inequality of our relationship, my unworthiness of her devotion, we survived for a time in harmony. Most of the family accepted her with ease, she was immediately a favourite with Alice and Emmett, and Esme and Carlisle already saw her as another daughter. Esme was enraptured for me, for the heart Bella kept so carefully in her hands. The only thing we ever came to discord over, for a while, was my refusal to turn her into one of us. She had pleaded with me, bargained and rationalized and yet I still refused. I would not condemn my love with the curse I despised. I would not destroy her soul, I would not destroy her like that."

"I was being extremely selfish in my inability to leave her for someone who could give her a human life; children, security, a future instead of an existence. I knew that and yet I could not bear to leave her side. There was an impasse between us, a delicate one at that. It was inevitable that it would become undone. So it did, on the exact day that Bella turned 18 I was confronted with the reality of how much danger she was in just being in my presence.'

"Alice, as you know, loves the attention of planning a party. The fact that we hadn't had a birthday since Emmett in 1935 combined with Alice's natural affection for Bella meant that Alice went to extravagant lengths to celebrate Bella's 18th. Bella on the other hand was reluctant. She hated any amount of excessiveness or attention on her part, but her birthday was a particular spot of contention as you may imagine, especially now she was superficially older then I. I pushed though, I wanted her to experience every human moment she could in case I succumbed to temptation. So the entire family gathered and Bella was doing her best to enjoy it, she loved us all you see, even Rosalie who was… indignant. It was just a mistake really that undid us, such a small, tiny thing that it was almost inconsequential. She cut her finger you see, Bella with her perfect delicious blood, and Jasper, who didn't have the same control he does now, couldn't resist. He lurched at her, and in the moment I went to protect her I saw myself reflected in Jasper's wild eyes and I saw the monster I was. It was not a case of the lion loving the lamb, it was a thousand times worse and more unnatural then that. Just by being there, just by loving her I was destroying her. Jasper was unable to hurt her, but the damage was done. Bella blamed no one for the attack, not Jasper or I, but I blamed myself enough for the both of us. It took me weeks to gather the strength of will to leave her, but I think… I know she suspected it was coming. I was horribly cruel in my distance, horribly weak to linger by love I had no claim to."

"Finally I could stay no longer. I cashed my chips with the family, and asked them to leave with me. I took her away and I told her I was leaving, I used the cruellest, most dreadful of blaspheme. I told her that I no longer loved her and Bella believed me. I could hardly believe that she would so easily but I saw it in her eyes almost the second the words left my mouth. Awful, disgusting resignation, belief that she of all people, compared to I, were insignificant. I almost cracked right then. I was so unbelievably tempted to take her in my arms and tell her I was lying, that of course I loved her, always; it was a temptation that even that for her blood didn't compare too, but like I had resisted the irresistible on that first meeting, I resisted her now, out of love."

"The first six months where the hardest of my existence. I wasn't withstanding week by week, it was day-by-day, then hour-to-hour. The family where incensed at me, especially Alice who I had made promise not look for Bella's future. Alice could barely look at me. She didn't need to; I heard her thoughts. I knew that if I saw Bella in Alice's mind my conviction would shatter and I would run back to Forks.'

'So the months passed and things stayed the same. I think at some point Alice had started looking for Bella, but she hid it from me in her mind and for the most part I was reassured that at least the most awful of circumstances could be prevented. It's hard to imagine the discord of those months that stretched into almost a year and a half, the family was at odds, I was in constant agony and somewhere unseen but never forgotten, Bella was barely surviving."

Edward's voice caught once again and he stopped for a moment. Cecily's shock and sympathy was shouted loud and clear on her face and through her thoughts. When Edward stuttered Cecily entwined one slim white hand with his.

"I'm sorry."

Edward's expression darkened.

"Please Cecily, do not feel sorry for me. For Bella definitely, for me never."

He swallowed softly and his grip tightened around Cecily's hand.

"Please believe me when I say I thought I was doing the right thing." Edward pleaded softly, as if it where not Cecily's amber eyes looking intently at him, but Bella's brown ones. "I thought that once we were gone from Forks Bella would be safe. With out us, her world would be what is should be, free of magic and monsters. I should have known though, should have seen the danger of leaving her unprotected. Bella, with out equal, was a massive disaster magnet and it was undeniably naïve of me to assume that she would out of danger once I was gone, and in my foolishness I left her alone and unprotected."

Edward's eyes were pained and his hand fell limply out of Cecily's grip. This was always the hardest part, the part that taunted him with its finality and unfamiliarity. This part of the story was full of dark holes despite his perfect memory.

"No one is sure how exactly she died. They… never found her body. I know Charlie in particular had hope that she was alive somewhere but I never allowed myself that hope. I… I had the liberty of having Alice's unique skills at my disposal and I also went to the crime scene. There was so much blood, too much blood for her to have survived. Finally Charlie was forced to hold a ceremony, although I think it was due largely to the wishes of his ex wife, Bella's mother Renee. We all went, none of us wanted to say goodbye but everybody saw the necessity. I could barely stand, I was so wretched with grief, but I had Esme and Carlisle, Alice too to a degree. We all stood, beautiful dark shadows, apart from the crowd of mourners; and I was bombarded by the reality of the last year and a half of Bella's life. From heads of the people who had loved her best, her mother, her father, her friends and family, I looked into the eyes of a girl I both barely recognized and loved more then anything I had. She was so hollow, a shell, and I the monster responsible. I couldn't take it; it destroyed me in an entirety that even death cannot accomplish. In fact I begged for death, I pleaded for it. I had believed whole heartedly that my absence had been for the better cause and to now know that it had been in vain, worse the probable cause of Bella's demise, I no longer had nobility or self sacrifice to cling to in my desperation. I had incontestably destroyed the only woman I would ever love, I had broken her, I had killed Bella Swan as surely as if I had sunk my teeth into her during that fateful biology class. I fled twelve hours after the funeral ended with out telling Carlisle. Alice already knew of course but I'm sure she also saw that there was no way to impede me. At first I considered running to The Volturi, I even lived in Italy for a few years, but under Carlisle's request Aro would not allow me into Volterra and I did not have the energy to actively seek my death past that. For the first time in my endless existence I was exactly the thing my biology made me, a walking corpse."

"And so it continued for two desolate decades. I lay like a broken toy or an unwound clock in an empty, silent room. I did not feed, nor did I speak or initiate any contact with the family. Occasionally Carlisle, Esme or one of my siblings would visit me and try to persuade me home but I would not waver. This was a punishment worse then death and I accepted it gladly."

Cecily interrupted again, and for that Edward was glad. This was a particularly delicate part of his saga, especially given the current audience.

"What changed?"

Edward's eyebrow arched.

"Isn't that obvious Cecily? You did."

He took both of her hands and transferred them into his lap; his voice was very grave.

"Please do not consider any part of this story a degradation of your place in the family, or your existence. We all love you Cecily, especially I, however the truth is that to some degree at least, your induction to our coven was Carlisle way of giving me incentive to live after Bella did not. You were very young you see, very susceptible and I am, as you know, the eldest of the Cullen's after Carlisle, it was my duty to help you."

Cecily's brow rose and fell, wrinkled in confusion. She gnawed nervously on her bottom lip.

"Well…" She said finally. "That explains a lot actually."

Suddenly Cecily grinned, her face transformed beautifully. Glowing brilliantly with the force of her humour.

"When Carlisle introduced me to you I thought I was meant to be like your virgin bride. He kept pushing me at you at every turn, I was mortified."

Edward rolled his eyes.

'He was… eager for me to start new, but he would never have dared make you under the pretence of you being my mate. That would have been very cruel, both to you and me. Carlisle is hardly cruel."

Cecily leaned back on her forearms, a thoughtful expression on her face. Silence lingered for ten long minutes until Edward too was lost in his thoughts. Thoughts of a beautiful human girl, with mahogany hair that tickled his nose, and eyes that seemed to look right to his core. Thoughts of better days, when laughter came as easily as her love, when even vengeful, psychotic vampires hadn't stopped him from being perfectly happy. Thoughts of a slim, tiny vampire with the same shade of mahogany hair and a heart shaped face, thoughts of golden eyes and perfect, icy features. He was glad when Cecily broke the silence, her voice sad in the empty silence.

"I'm sorry Edward. I never knew. I never… imagined." She was doodling designs into the dirt absently. "D-Do you think you will always love her that way?"

"Yes." Edward said automatically. "It is something you will discover later Cecily, as your years transcend your human life span and time begins to just blur together into something infinite. We change very little after a hundred years of cementing our ways, when we do change, when we love as fiercely and as devoutly as humans do, it is forever. I will always be half of what I could be with out Bella. I will always hate my immortality, faced as I am by her own."

"I feel very bad Edward. I've been an awful sister and friend to you. I know you must have seen my assumption… You have always seemed very cold…"

Edward smiled sadly.

"It's a very forgivable offence Cecily. I wouldn't dream of holding it against you or your character." He paused. "Don't apologize for the other thing Cecily. You didn't know."

"I-I didn't know…"

Edward closed his hand around Cecily's.

"I know."

"I just miss being warm sometimes." She whispered. "I miss the vibrancy of feeling human."

Edward wasn't interested in Cecily's justification. He knew more then anything the appeal of those fragile, complicated, fantastic beings known as humans. Cecily's only sin was ignorance and perhaps vanity; his own far out shadowed hers. He stood slowly, his neck bent and his gaze averted. For a moment he just stood, impossibly tired, then he offered his palm to his sister and pulled her to her feet next to him.

"It's all ok, Cecily." Edward said softly, dropping a brotherly kiss onto her forehead. "We all make mistakes."

"Even you Edward. Even you." Cecily's smile was crooked. "Will you hit me if I say it wasn't your fault."

"No." Edward said, trying to figure out whether to chuckle or cry. Since the latter option was over ruled by damned biology, he laughed. "I won't hit you."

They walked home at human leisure, both silent and thoughtful. They where almost home by the time Cecily spoke again, her tone conversational.

"I wish I had met her. Bella sounds… amazing."

Edward's smile was wistful.

"She would have loved you. I'd like to believe that even if we had survived those years and she were beside me now, so would you. We would be so happy Cecily, so happy."

"Do you think you made the wrong decision refusing to change her?"

Edward's eyes flicked closed for a moment. In his minds eye he saw a happier, selfish life, where Bella was beside him for eternity, a future where he played theDarcy to her Elizabeth Bennet instead of the doomed Romeo to her exquisite Juliet.

"I have never decided really." He divulged finally. "I made the only choice I saw at the time, and if I was being stupid or conceited then at least I did it out of love. Sometimes I see that turning her was really the only way our story could end with any semblance of happiness, yet other times I wonder… If I had stayed, or if I had watched over her, would our tale have had a less tragic end?"

His voice hung somehow ominously in the damp air, lingering for a long moment in both Cecily's and his own mind.

"I'm sorry this is all a bit sober isn't it? Let's change the subject."

Edward grinned widely, hoping Cecily didn't notice that his smile dropped at the edges. He flung his arm over Cecily's shoulder and began to steer her towards the house. He had a life, he reminded himself, and he had a family to love him. He could keep surviving with out Bella; he had done it for a hundred years before her.

Edward grimaced sickly, and tightened his hold on Cecily. He was wrong; even as the words entered his brain he knew he was lying. Edward would always need Bella Swan, and he would always look for her, even when there was nothing to find.

--

_Tired_

_Could not close my eyes_

_On fire_

_But frozen inside_

_To run or to hide_

_Speechless my words could not melt_

_Whisper I wanted to shout_

_With out you I felt_

_Like a setting sun_

_Like a last goodbye_

_Like an incomplete lullaby_

_--_


	6. Sleeping With Ghosts

Rain had dampened Bella's lashes, not tears as she stepped noiselessly into the lonely meadow

**AU: Hey Guys! I'm back after a self imposed Breaking Dawn exile. Stupid Australia didn't get it until the forth, so I didn't want to be spoilt. Anyway… **_**Unexpected**_** is the first word I would use. I loved it, but I know some of you guys out there didn't so I won't exaggerate.**

**Consequently I suppose, the rest of my story may be a little bit OOC or incorrect. I'm not going to rewrite it so just please keep in mind this was written PreBD. **

--

_Pale were your looks; and the rose in your tresses_

_Paler of hue than the dreams we have lost;_

_"Who," then I said, "is it sees or who guesses,_

_Here in the hall, that I dance with a ghost?"_

_Gone! And the dance and the music are ended._

_Gone! And the rapture dies out of the skies._

_And, on my arm, in her elegance splendid,_

_The woman of fashion smiles up in my eyes._

_Had I forgotten? and did you remember?_

_You, who are dead, whom I cannot forget;_

_You, for whose sake all my heart is an ember,_

_Covered with ashes of dreams and regret._

_--_

Rain had dampened Bella's lashes, not tears, as she stepped noiselessly into the lonely meadow. Her boots slipped silently against wet grass, effortlessly avoiding the spring flowers already bending like old maids with the weight of the water. Oblivious of the wetness against her chilled skin, she fell gracefully down onto her ass and layback against the overwhelming smells of life and nature.

She was effectively avoiding Jon. She knew that eventually she would have to raise the discussion of the mysterious Forks killer, more so the conversation of Alice and Rosalie's surprise intrusion, but she was putting it off until a time in which she had her emotions firmly under her control. Twelve hours had stretched between the time the Cullen sisters had left and at the moment, Bella felt impossibly exhausted. She often envied the human ability to loose consciousness but not more so then now. There was no physical harm in her inability for sleep, but the absence of relief from the aching boredom and cutting anguish of the passed years wore at her. With out it's calming influence her body itched for destruction, not hungry for blood but for an expression of rage, of grief, of power. She wanted to sob for hours with violent, satisfying bursts, she wanted to be crippled by the intensity of her physical reaction to invisible emotional pain. She did not want her loss to go unmourned, not as if she where an unaffected, unliving statue. Bella was so sick and so sad of being cold; she had never understood the infliction so perfectly as in these passing days. She wanted the heat of anger; she wanted to destroy, to maim.

She wanted him; she wanted him to keep her warm.

As if in answer to her silent reverie, Bella began to feel the earth tremble slightly around her, shaking with the force of running feet. Feet that ran too fast and too familiar to be human.

The realization that it was Edward came at the same time as the realization she would never be able to out run him in time. Horror and anticipation froze her, a much too obvious figure in the middle of the meadow. Moments that could only have been a few seconds ticked over so slowly Bella felt like she had been standing like a marble statue for days, and Bella still stood stone still as Edward entered her (their) sacred place.

For one more long moment she knew that Edward, so deep in thought, had not noticed her. She took that moment to study him, his face lined with concentration as if he had not looked up into the outside world for a long time. For Bella it was a familiar expression and it made her heart ache painfully with love.

She barely noticed the breeze pass over her skin, and it wasn't until Edward's perfect face came into view that Bella realised it must have carried her scent to him. Later she would chastise herself for not bothering to hide her distinctive perfume, and yet in this moment she couldn't make herself care.

Edward's eyes widened softly in surprise, but Bella couldn't help but notice it wasn't as pronounced as it should have been. It was if he had been expecting her to appear for a long time, or as if her presence had never been far in the first place.

"Bella." He breathed, the sound neither a question nor particularly a statement, merely the natural conclusion of the clouds of fog hanging in the air.

Bella opened her mouth, then closed it again, the conviction to run finally returning.

"No!" Edward shouted out, sensing her movements.

He was beside her in a flash, his hands tight around her forearms. Bella started at his touch, a frisson of electricity alighting at his touch.

"A-a-are you…" He swallowed, and Bella realised with a nasty start of excitement his lips where inches from her own. "You feel… so real."

Bella frowned. Her train of thought kept derailing as she stared deep into burnt caramel irises, but she was still pretty sure that didn't make sense.

"Real?"  
He didn't seem to be listening to her, his eyes were manic and his chest heaved with necessary breath.

"_Death, that hath suck'd the honey of thy breath, hath had no power yet upon thy beauty"_ He thumbed her cold cheek tenderly. "Still so beautiful Bella. Even like this you look… so very fragile and human."

Bella's eyes widened, she was definitely confused now. She reached out to touch his hand.

"Edward, what are you doing here?"  
Edward's eyes flickered closed as if she had hurt him in some physical, human way.

"I'm sorry Bella, I'm so sorry. Please…"

"Edward…"

"You feel so real, I had no idea…" Edward swallowed again and, as if with some effort, pulled away distancing himself from her. "But this is _so_ unhealthy. Rosalie is right, I should be moving on, I should be letting you go…"

He hung his head, his movement spastic and undecided.

"I can't Bella, I can't. Come back to me…"

"Edward." Bella reminded softly. "I'm right here."

"Are you love?" Edward smiled at her sadly. "How long until you go away again?"

She growled and stepped away from him as if reacting to a slap.

"You're the one who left."

"Forgive me."

His words where soft and sparse, he was close again, his arms around her in an embrace, burying his face in her hair.

'I do." Bella replied, too content in Edward's arms to say anything different. She almost had anyway; it was only the remembered feelings of mortification and disappointment she could not yet forgive. He had, after all, never been obligated to stay.

She just wished he could have lied to her a little longer.

His fingers were tracing the contours of her features again, awe in his gaze as he studied her. She didn't understand the tenderness in his actions but right now she didn't care.

"Amazing…" He whispered. "Exquisite what the imagination can do. You look so real, my darling. As if you where really here."  
If Bella could, at times, be accused of being oblivious, even she could not disregard that particular remark. She looked at him strangely for a moment, his glazed euphoric stare oblivious to her bemused one. Did Edward honestly believe she was a figment of his imagination?

"Stay." He remarked loudly, not noticing her hesitation. "Stay with me please, Bella."

"I'm not going anywhere." Bella said softly, a shiver raced down her spine as his eyes bore into hers. "I'm right here, you can feel me Edward, I'm here."

"I won't let anything hurt you again." He muttered in a fierce, agitated hiss. "Just don't disappear Bella. Don't ever disappear from this spot."

"I can't stay here forever, Edward." Bella said wirily. "Neither can you…"  
What ever Edward's reason for his denial, Bella knew it was not in her best interest to correct him. Yet as she looked up into his open, familiar, perfect face Bella could understand why Edward might think this was dream. It was everything she had wished for in her human life, both of them beautiful as the emerging sun made their entwined bodies glitter, and in cruel irony it had been granted to her for only a second. No mortal would believe it, and the heart tricked even the immortal sometimes.

Maybe Edward was her hallucination.

Edward sniffed irritably and made a sharp noise of concession between his teeth.

"Try me."

Bella chuckled softly; gently she stood up onto the tips of her toes and kissed him tenderly on the cheek.

"You shouldn't though…"

Edward was staring at her with a strange mixture of fear, awe and exasperation; his topaz eyes glittered with adrenaline.

"Amazing." He said again, shaking his head. "It almost makes me want to listen to Alice. She could almost be right, you do look… Exceptional."

Bella pulled herself sharply out of his embrace, shame valiant in its attempts to colour her cheeks. If there had been any doubt before it was gone, there was no way Edward would love her now. His indulgence had been for Bella Swan, _human_, warm, flushed and delicious not Isabella Swan the vampire, as hard and cold as he was.

"Bella…" Edward's voice was desperate as he saw her move away. "What's wrong?"  
She forced herself to look up at him, lips pursed seriously.

"I should go, I've stayed too long."

He was holding her again, his grip almost painfully tight against her shoulders.

"Don't. Not yet…"

"I have too… Don't worry, I won't come again Edward. We'll move on."

Her tone was so laboriously blasé that she felt if Edward were to touch her too hard she would break. Bella had never felt so fragile as she did now, forcing herself to say goodbye, to let him go.

"No!" Edward roared, and there was so much passion in his voice that Bella almost reconsidered her previous conviction. He sounded like a man who cared.

"Please Bella! I haven't even… I mean… Bella, I am so, so, so very sorry, from the bottom of my heart. You're right to condemn me, it is entirely my fault…"

Guilt. He was shrouded in it and in that moment Bella cursed herself for being so blind. She smiled sadly and took his large hand with her small one.

"Edward Cullen." She said seriously. "You can't let this… this guilt rule your life. I mean sure, what happened to me was sad. But you know what? I'm fine. Look at me… healthy and happy right? What you wanted. So you can let me go now… I'm ok."

Edward's forehead crinkled and his mouth opened. Bella cut him off quickly; she pulled his face close to hers so that his gaze was inches from her own.

"Promise me Edward, promise me you won't dwell on me anymore. I'm not worth it, ok?"

Only Edward was so good that he would allow the death of a girl he had loved so fleetingly and so deceivingly to cut him up so. Despite his exclamation to the contrary, he had always been Romeo, the lover of extremes and needless over exaggeration.

"Bella?" Edward's voice was husky, and Bella swallowed inaudibly as she felt his fingers brush against her cheek. "You are very much worth it."

Suddenly Edward's lips were on hers, kissing her so tenderly it made her world rearrange itself, as if for years askew and only now righting. His fingers tangled lazily in her hair and for a Bella felt herself melt into him, his once hard body now pleasantly and comfortably soft.

It could have lasted forever had the crunch of approaching footsteps not interrupted them. Edward broke the kiss but did not move away, his mouth lingering only centimetres from hers.

"I have to go." Bella whispered, suddenly reluctant.

"Come back." Edward's voice was just as soft, but it was strong with the sincerity of his earnest.

"I'll have to think about it." Bella said honestly, she would of course, she had been thinking about it for over fifty years after all.

Her feet were light as she raced home, hoping he had not been suspicious enough to follow her. Bella wondered as the scenery blurred past her and the sharp, forest smells assaulted her nasal passages, if perhaps returning to the Cullen's would be so bad. She would be near Edward after all, and even if they were not lovers, she would perhaps, maybe survive with them being allies.

Even as the thought entered her brain, she knew it was a lie. To have only a small part of Edward, the part of a friend or even, cutting blasphemy, a sister, would never be enough when she craved the full thing so completely. To return there and explain her selfishness and pathetic ness would be mortifying enough, although she was sure the family (his family but not hers) would be kind and understanding, their beautiful faces rearranging into unfortunate piteous expressions. Worse still would be watching the years pass for her soul mate, watch him smile and laugh and become an even better man. Eventually she would watch too as he discovered his own soul mate, watch as his eyes light up, watch as he loved her, watch as he fulfilled every dream that she and this fictional love would share. Returning would be a painful lie, for Bella Swan it would always be all or nothing.

--

Jonathan stood rigid and imposing, his golden eyes dark like shadows, waiting as Bella climbed through her bedroom window. She had never had cause to be afraid of her sire before, not since she was human anyway, and yet she was now. Jon, large and predatory, was terrifying in his silence.

"Good morning Bella." He said evenly, the tension in his upper body betraying his feigned nonchalance. "I was hoping we could have a little discussion."

Bella sniffed softly and pulled off her wet boots.

"Oh really? About what?" She asked innocently. Her tongue poked out nervously out of her mouth and wet her lips.

Jonathan was silent for a moment, a kind of silence that Bella couldn't ever remember feeling around him, his lips pursing slightly as he searched for words.

"I have something to confess." He said finally. "And I'm afraid you will judge me horribly for it."

Bella's eyes bulged and a sick feeling settled in her stomach.

"Jon…" She half moaned, half spluttered. "Please tell me you didn't kill those people. You promised you wouldn't feed…"

"And I didn't." Jonathan said sharply. "My eyes are as pure as yours, Belladonna. However…"

He paused awkwardly.

"However I may be _circuitously_ responsible…"

Bella snorted in a very un-lady like fashion.

"Of course you are."

The dam which had been cracking at it's seams for weeks broke and Jon watched on unaffected as Bella gave an uncharacteristic howl of frustration and buried her fist into the powder-blue wall her father had lovingly painted nearly 70 years ago. The beast inside her roared and snapped its teeth.

"Jonathan how _could_ you? How am I suppose to explain this to the…"

"Will you please let me explain?" Jon asked patiently, deeming it safe enough to reach out a hand to comfort her. Bella shook him off, but her agitation became content with pacing around the room as opposed to actual violence. She was glad, she despised the satisfaction she found in the ripping apart and destroying of things she had once loved.

"Explain." She ordered.

Jonathan bit his lip painfully; when he spoke he spoke with a tone of definite discomfort, almost apologetic, an emotion Bella had never associated with Jon in fifty-eight years of friendship.

"When I tell you this Bella… I want you to remember that I am fond of you, and my actions, irrational and selfish as they are going to appear, were done with your happiness in mind."

He was definitely nervous Bella noted with wry amusement; his voice was too fast and too high to achieve the usual smooth, confident tone that Jonathan used so often to charm his prey. He reached habitually for his cigarettes, ignoring Bella's frown as he placed one in his mouth.

"That doesn't exactly endear you to me Jonathan."

Jonathan shrugged bashfully.

"I'm afraid it won't matter in a second. I hardly think I'll be endeared to you at all either way."  
His voice was strangely pained, and Bella thawed slightly. She had never seen Jon as vulnerable and as unsure as he was now. She was surprised to remember that only a few moments ago he had seemed impossibly predatory, now his demeanour was undeniably… human.

"Tell me Jon." She said softly. "I'll try to keep an open mind at least."

"I hope so." Jon replied, smiling weakly. "I will have to rely on your god-given compassion, take advantage of it I wouldn't doubt."

He fiddled with the lapels of his suit jacket for a second, sedately fashionable in contrast to the dusty room he stood in, and Bella herself.

"I need to tell you…" His voice trailed off almost unnaturally, but with another sheepish smile he started again. "I suppose I should remind you of my acquaintance with Marcus of the Volturi clan. I told you, I'm sure, in passing but perhaps you…"

"I remember." Bella said, impatient now that her curiosity had been prompted. "Go on."

"Marcus contacted me a few months ago for some reason or another, he makes it a rule to do so every half a year, and he mentioned to me that an opening had appeared in the Volturi guard." Jonathan's paused deliberately and looked at Bella severely. "I thought of you of course."

"What! Why?" Bella spluttered, her eyes narrowing into slits. "Why on earth would I want to become part of the Volturi guard? And what does that have to do with the extremely inconvenient _dead people_."

"Let me finish." Jonathan said sternly. "You have an awful habit of assuming the worst Isabella."

"Yes." Bella hissed. "By all means, lets focus on my awful habits."

Jonathan exhaled with unnecessary force, and Bella's world became cloudy with white, putrid smoke. His eyes bore into hers, pleading with her to understand.

"You were miserable Bella, completely hollow like no one I've ever met. I couldn't guess what inspired you to come home, but it didn't help at all, you were more miserable in Forks then I'd ever seen you. I can't stand to see you miserable Bella, perhaps you don't realise my affection for you, but it's true. If you were not willing to make your peace with Edward and be happy that way then I thought… maybe…"

Jonathan cleared his throat. "I thought perhaps the Volturi would give you some meaning in your life. You are extremely powerful Bella, whether you realise it or not, the Volturi would welcome you. I suggested to Marcus that they approach you."

"That was going to be the end of my involvement, I swear. I let the Volturi know you were in Forks and I expected them to find you right away. I didn't, stupidly really, take into account your gift."

Bella was unnaturally still; any human could have easily confused her with a beautiful and ancient figurine, cold and marble white except for the shock of mahogany on her head. Her eyes had fluttered closed to listen to Jon's explanation and they did not open when his words hesitated.

"It's the Volturi then." She muttered. "They're misbehaving."

"It wasn't until I heard rumours of the Cullen's returning to Forks that I realised there would be trouble." Jon continued unabated. "I knew that eventually you would communicate with Edward or another member of the family and you would realise where your heart lay. The Volturi would never have a chance."

"So I decided to visit. I had always been curious about your living conditions; I have found it very frustrating in the past that you insist on visiting _me_ instead of inviting me to _you_. I was planning on telling you everything, informing you of the Cullen's arrival and of the Volturi's offer. I thought maybe I could make you see, objectively, the benefits of leaving Forks for Italy. I knew the chances were slim but I honestly thought it was the better alternative. I still do by the way."

Anger battled with agitation in Bella's gut, both trying for first placement. How was it that she still managed to get into these messes? All she had ever asked for, in fifty-seven years, was to be left alone and now she had two vampire covens to worry about.

"What the hell were you thinking Jonathan?" She exploded, on her feet in a blur of motion. "The idea that I would even consider for a moment joining those mercenary blood hounds is ridiculous. I mean honestly Jon, I don't even drink human blood how well do you think I would fit in with a bunch of vicious vampire trackers?"

"Very well in my opinion. Despite your somewhat depleted opinion of the Volturi they are very honourable and very intelligent. I know that Aro at least would respect your 'vegetarianism', he was very fond of Carlisle after all."

Bella made a sound at the back of her throat that seemed to be an interesting hybrid between a snort of exasperation and a swallowed sob. She rested her head on the decrepit wall, trying to reel back feelings of desperation. For the slightest second, Bella toyed with the idea that she would be happier working for the Volturi. Would not the elation of finally releasing her true nature and feeding on human blood not be a beautiful kind of abandon, a healthy and anaesthetized kind of madness? To loose herself completely was so… tempting. She had abstained from drinking blood because of a set of ideologies created by a family who had abandoned her, so that she could keep her soul pure for a vampire who hadn't loved her. No being was strong enough to spend eternity alone, especially not Bella.

Within another moment she had snapped back to reality with heady resolve. No, she chastised herself, she wouldn't. She was proud of her asceticism and she wouldn't let anyone, not Jon, not the Volturi and certainly not Edward Cullen, distract her from that. She was not, she promised herself, a monster.

Bella realised with a start that neither she nor Jon had spoken for many minutes. He sat patiently on the end of her bed, his hands folded neatly in his lap, waiting for her to speak. She sighed.

"So where are your friends? If they came down here over a month ago…"

Jonathan looked grim.

"I'm almost certain that Aro is aware of the special circumstances surrounding you and Edward, once their team discovered that the Cullen's had returned to Forks I suspect that they returned to Italy for reinforcements. No doubt they have returned by now and are laying low." Jon's voice was sad. "There is strong friendship between Carlisle, Aro, Marcus and Caius but also a strong rivalry. Carlisle resents the lifestyle his friends live and the Volturi believe Carlisle to be very foolish. Yet the Cullen's are one of the largest and, save the Volturi itself, the oldest covens left in the western world and Aro believes it is necessary to take certain… precautions."

"So as we speak vampires perfected by both biology and mentality to kill are roaming the forests miles away from my home."

Bella's voice trembled with barely contained fury.

"They would not kill again. It was very foolish of them to do it in the first place, one of them must have slipped."

Bella growled. "What are they waiting for then? I'm right here aren't I?"  
Jonathan smiled warily.

"For the longest while, I suspect, it was because they couldn't find you. The Volturi rely very heavily on the gifts of certain members, but your own gift protects you. Still, if you were not so… reticent then I'm sure they would have located you within the week and you may never have seen the Cullens."

"And now? They know were I am I presume."

"They do. Although not through me, just for clarification."

Jon looked at her hopefully, as if expecting weakness of conviction. Bella wondered if he really had believed she would follow his plan so easily, it seemed too big an oversight of character for Jon to make. Suddenly Jon's tone was very serious.

"I think that the agents of the Volturi who arrived here have decided to wait to move. I think that Aro is hoping his men will bring back more then one new recruit…"

"Edward?"

"Jasper and Alice too I wouldn't doubt, but yes, Edward in particular. I think that Aro finds his gift particularly intriguing."

Bella gauged the situation for a few moments. Jon had called the Volturi. Bad. The Volturi were in Forks. Worse. The Volturi knew that Edward was in Forks. Catastrophic. Bella realised with a heavy heart and a turning stomach that the choice to reintroduce herself to the Cullens had been take out of her hands. To not tell them now, to leave them without means of defense, would be to kill them to utterly decimate the family. It was not like it was totally repulsive, Bella rationalized weakly, she would be lying to say she was not considering it anyway. Yet there had been a bitter kind of freedom in her anonymity that she was going to loose, Edward would know she had been lying to him and he would not forgive her for her deception. It would join the long list of things Edward had to despise about her.

Yet he hadn't acted like he despised her in the meadow. The shape of his lips burned against hers, and Bella felt her hand rise absently to her mouth. She knew that those thoughts were a dangerous road, but for a moment (she only ever got a moment) they were nostalgic and beautiful, and for one of few times during the last half a century Bella felt loved.

With a scowl Bella brushed away her sentimentality. Bad, bad Bella, she reprimanded herself, badness, wrong!

Regardless, the Cullens were now officially in trouble and Bella knew that she had to inform them of latest developments. She owed them that much didn't she? Hell, she owed them her life.

"Carlisle needs to know about this." Bella said softly.

Jonathan nodded emphatically.

"I could not agree more."

"I don't suppose you'd go there in my place? I could still live the rest of my existence in relative dignity and I sincerely doubt the Cullens would kill you as completely or painfully as I might. They're really very nice."

Jonathan glared at Bella's hopeful expression.

"Yes, you are hilarious." He paused deliberately. "Bella, who are you honestly trying to fool? We all know that eventually you'll return to the Cullens and face them as an adult and an equal, it is simply a question of how long, and how painful the process will be. You will come now, because fate has finally decided that you can hide no longer."

Bella sighed, and with a gasp of escaping air crashed into Jon's chest. She felt his arms brace her shoulders and his chin rest of the top of her head, and she let herself stand there, warm, for just a moment.

"I'm scared Jon. " She muttered. "I've spent so much time pretending they don't exist. I can't do that anymore, can I?"

"Neither of us can." Jonathan muttered, his embrace tightening. "We can only believe it's for the best."

Bella realised then that it didn't matter. Either way the past was back, the decision made, and this time there was no running from it.

Life was about to get so very complicated.


	7. Marble

Baby I have been here before

_Baby I have been here before_

_I know this room, I've walked this floor_

_I used to live alone before I knew you._

_I've seen your flag on the marble arch_

_Love is not a victory march_

_It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah_

_Leonard Cohen, Hallelujah_

--

It didn't surprise Bella to find that the Cullen residence had changed just about as much as she had. It still stood tall and beautiful above her, both intimidating and pleasantly enticing. It was eerie to stand before a building that had once held so much hope, such potent love and not see the usual wear and tear of age. It was as if the house too was as lifeless as it's inhabitants. As eternal and static.

Bella giggled softly and beside her Jon gave her a strange look.

They too, she thought, carried a very old world presence, as they stood there motionless in the rain and sleet. For the sheer purpose of formality, Bella had changed from her usual uniform of combat boots and thrift store layers into the only dress she still owned. It had been brought when she had been human, before the fashion expertise of Alice had entered her life and she distinctly remembered it looking awful on her. Now her vampire statue transformed it, and the classic cut clung to her breasts and waist before flowing past her hips to end just slightly below her knees, she had swapped her boots for soft, stylish flats for the occasion too. Next to Jonathan in his sleek, 1950's leisure suit she felt like some classic movie star on a black and white screen, their lips and cheeks lacking the natural flush to compliment their pallid skin.

Jonathan's lips where chilled as he pressed them against her temple in a reassuring motion. Bella stepped away from him slightly, she was still unbelievably furious at him and she didn't want him to think he was forgiven. Not all. Jon's face fell slightly, but with a shrug he began walking towards the house.

"Wait!" Bella squeaked quickly, catching his hand and dragging him back a few paces. "I'm mentally preparing myself."

"Darling, you've been preparing yourself for over fifty years. Time to jump the boat, so to speak. You jump, I jump Jack."

Titanic references aside, Bella knew that Jon had a point; the prolonging of the agony would not make it hurt any less. For a moment she wondered what would come after- after the Cullen's disappeared again. She thought about Denali and Seattle, she would need a holiday of sorts after this all came to an end, a new and more indifferent place to hide.

And then another eternity of solitude, of boredom, of ghosts and regrets. Awesome.

Her footsteps were silent as she pushed open the door, glad that it was unlocked. Her nose was enough to tell her that only three members of the Cullen household were home and that none of those three where Edward.

_Good_, Bella thought, ignoring the traitorous disappointment in her gut, _that makes things more convenient. _

She was surprised to find the entrance of the Cullen mansion was completely empty, Jon lingered a few steps behind her as Bella walked slowly and carefully though empty rooms, her finger tips trailing along the sparking furniture. Her face softened wistfully as she walked slowly through sunlit rooms, the bedroom, the kitchen, the dining room and ignored the ghosts that followed her, of laughter, of dreams, of better life and love.

Bella was too caught up in nostalgia to notice that the stench of vampire had strengthened, so she was unprepared when she opened the door of the main sitting room to see an unfamiliar, blonde vampire look up at her in surprise.

Bella's breath hitched audibly as she studied the lithe teenager before her. The girl looked to be about fifteen or sixteen and she was tiny, smaller perhaps then even Alice. Blonde hair fell in lazy ringlets, pushed back out of clear, golden eyes and pouting pink lips shined with layers of clear lip-gloss. She was like a teenage boys wet dream, but that wasn't the reason Bella flinched at the sight of her.

No, it was the sheer comfort in her posture that irked Bella; she was a part of this house, this family. She was the bonafide eighth member of the Cullen family, the place Bella had once longed to fill; this beautiful, perfect vampire had been judged worthy where she had not. Bella had been replaced.

"Which Cullen is this?" Jonathan asked curiously, studying the blonde with some interest.

"I don't know… Who are you?" Bella demanded, forgetting for a moment that she was the one intruding.

"Who am I?" The exquisite teenager snapped. "Who the hell are you?"

Bella opened her mouth to respond, but before she could even form the words there was a whoosh of movement and two more teenage models of perfection burst through the door. For a moment both Rosalie and Alice were focused only on Jon, glaring at him with suspicion and loathing, then Alice's gaze moved across the room and Bella watched her eyes widen in recognition.

"Bella?"

There was another whoosh of air and movement and suddenly Bella's body shuddered with the impact of Alice's hug. Bella wanted so badly to be unaffected, and yet fifty-seven years of estrangement didn't stop her arms rising up to return Alice's hug.

"Bella!" Alice moved away slightly, her beautiful face confused. "I can't believe this. You're… well…"

Her voice petered out tactfully and her amber eyes glanced at Rosalie, who was staring at Bella like she was seeing a ghost. She blinked suddenly as she realised both Bella and Alice where looking at her, and her mouth quirked slightly in a sheepish smile.

"Bella Swan. It has been a while."

"I knew it!" Alice said with somewhat inappropriate glee. "I knew you were alive, I felt in my bones. Who else would be able to block my gift? Edward…"

"Alice." Bella interrupted. "I… I'm here for business."

She regretted her cool tone when she saw Alice's face fall. The small vampire gaze averted sadly.

"Oh…"  
Rosalie stepped further into the room, her gaze returning to Jon, who looked back at her with calculating eyes. The muscles of both vampires coiled, in ready to attack.

"What is he doing here? Not exactly the association I would expect of you Bella."

Jon made a noise like an angry cat, and Bella stepped back to lay a hand on his back.

"Which kind of association would you prefer, Rosalie?" She replied icily.

Alice opened her mouth animatedly but it was Rosalie who answered, his voice calm but coated with caution.

"You could have come here Bella. Edward would have…"

"I don't need his pity." Bella spat. The sheer force of her anger surprised her and she forced her self to calm down.

The level of tension was too high, both Rosalie and Jon sported expressions of anger and Alice's face had creased in despair, her bright eyes sad.

"Bella, why didn't you find us? Everybody has missed you so much… You didn't need to be alone."

Bella turned away from Alice, unable to look into her pleading expression and stay indifferent.

"I wasn't." Even to her own ears her voice sounded strangled and bitter. "It's fine Alice. I couldn't expect the mighty Cullens to come to my rescue every time I got into trouble. I moved on…" Her eyes moved unconsciously to the tiny blonde girl who still sat on the sofa, studying the scene with severe curiosity. "Like you all did. Like… _He_ did. I don't blame you."

"I blame me." Alice said stiffly. "Bella please. If I live a million years I won't forgive myself for leaving Forks when I did. What we did in leaving was stupid and disgusting and… unforgivable, but I swear we did it with your best intentions in mind."

"There's no problem Alice." Bella gritted out. "Forget about it. Seriously."

Jon snorted and Bella turned to glare at him.

"Can we maybe get this over with?"

"By all means Bella." Jonathan said with a smile. "You're right, we're being very frivolous. Lets inform your friends of their imminent peril. Perhaps we should go downstairs and meet Carlisle, I just heard him come in."

"You know Carlisle?" Alice asked suspiciously.

"Not personally." Jonathan replied airily. "Although Bella speaks of you all with such reverence I feel as if I know you all already."

Alice glanced at Bella hopefully, but she was already scowling at Jon who was looking back at her with an innocent expression.

"Let's go." Bella snapped, turning sharply to the half open door behind her. Cecily and Rosalie rushed past her at vampire speed but Bella stayed at her human pace, pointedly ignoring both Alice and Jon who lingered behind her.

She started softly when Alice's cool fingers touched her arm unexpectedly and Bella looked up into soft, kind golden eyes. Alice's arm slipped through hers so that she was effectively pinned against her side. Bella sniffed softly and looked resolutely forward, her eyes trained on anything but Alice.

"Please look at me." Alice asked quietly and Bella couldn't resist the earnest in her tone. When she did look back at Alice she had to soften slightly, she challenged anyone to stay mad at Alice because as far as she could see it was an impossible task.

"I missed you." Alice told her, her voice low.

Bella bumped her hip gently against Alice's, an offering of ceasefire.

"I know. I missed you too, more then anything, almost more then…" Bella swallowed thickly. "I'm sorry. This is very hard for me. I never planned for any of you to see me like this."

Alice came to a complete stop, her expression incredulous.

"Why not Bella? This is awesome! You can join the family for real now…"

"No Alice." Bella's tone was final. "I can't."

Behind them Jon cleared this throat awkwardly and Bella pulled away from Alice, blurring away down the stairs, dimly aware of two sets of footsteps following her.

She stopped short when she saw both Esme and Carlisle, standing together at the bottom of the stairs. They looked up at her; Esme's expression awed and open, Carlisle's eyes crinkled softly in good humour and Bella smiled.

"Bella?" Esme asked gently.

"Yes."

"Come down here!" The older vampire demanded, and when Bella obliged, hopping gracefully down the stairs until she was beside Esme; she was embraced fiercely.

"It's a miracle." Esme sobbed tearlessly into Bella's hair. "Alice was right. You've come home."

She felt awful but Bella knew she had to pull away.

"No." She said quickly, her voice barely audible. "I'm sorry Esme but I haven't."

Esme straightened haughtily and looked at Bella with as much reproach as a woman as pleasant as Esme could produce. She was reminded somewhat eerily of being chastised by her mother for not bringing home milk and bread.

"What? Why not?"

Bella opened her mouth weakly and glanced at Jonathan for assistance. The older man slid in smoothly beside Bella, extending a hand toward Carlisle.

"Jonathan Stone." He introduced himself pleasantly. Carlisle accepted his hand with a nod, his sharp gaze trained carefully on Jon's learned muscles. "A pleasure."

"I'm sure I can say the same." Carlisle replied, his voice flat. "Although I can't be positive considering I don't ever recall us being acquainted. How is it that you know Bella, exactly?"

Jonathan's eyes immediately narrowed dangerously and the two elder vampires faced off silently.

"Jonathan…" Bella interjected nervously. "Is my… sire. He made me."

There was a communal and unfocused hum of anger in response from the Cullen family, although Bella had a hunch Carlisle and Alice at least had assumed as much before.

"Why?" The unintroduced blonde muttered, to Bella's surprise.

"It was a merciful gesture." Jon defended to a room of accusing glares. "Bella wanted me to."

"Bella!" Alice and Esme reproached, Bella glowered at Jonathan.

"What Jonathan means to say is that he attacked me with little or no provocation because he was under the inane impression I had a deep, secret desire to become a vampire."

"You did." Jonathan said unhelpfully. "Or more precisely you wanted something that you could only achieve by being a vampire. The gift never lies, my darling."

Bella wrinkled her nose distastefully.

"Jon senses desire in individuals." She explained for the benefit of Esme. Everybody else she assumed (except for the only girl in the room she refused to acknowledge and who said a vampire couldn't be passive aggressive?) already knew about Jon's gift.

Esme pursed her lips, but Bella didn't need to look at her to see the pity in her eyes. Bella felt like stomping her foot, they had no reason to feel sorry for her. She was a powerful, beautiful, ethereal vampire and she kicked ass. The Bella Swan who Esme was feeling sorry for was long gone, and Bella hadn't mourned her for along time.

"Look." She muttered, her voice hard. "Can we just get this over with?"

This time hurt was reflected not only in Alice's eyes, but Carlisle and Esme's as well. Bell felt like the dirt on the boot of humanity, she felt awful; but all these pleasant reunions didn't mean she wouldn't have to leave in ten minutes or twenty. The Cullens had made their choice along time ago, and in turn so had she.

Jonathan cleared his throat and smiled shortly.

"Bella is being very nice by not saying immediately that this is all my fault, although I regret to say that it is."

"Colour me shocked and surprised." Rosalie sneered. Jonathan's smile widened slightly, ignoring the malicious tones of Rosalie's voice.

"You…" Jon told Rosalie pleasantly. "Are a very amusing person."  
Rosalie sniffed and stepped back, disarmed.

It was Alice who brought up the subject the entire room had been tactfully avoiding. She cleared her throat nervously and glanced between Bella and Carlisle.

"Do you think we should maybe wait for the entire family to be here?"

"It's not necessary." Bella replied flatly, her eyes darkening dangerously.  
"I would prefer to have everybody here under the circumstances." Carlisle said lightly, but with deeper significance.

"I would rather not." Bella said sharply, loosing her temper despite herself. "It's not like Edward can't just read your mind anyway…"  
It was the first time she had said his name or acknowledged his existence in the family and it seemed to send a proverbial shockwave through the room. Jon made a slight hissing sound; although out of anger or merely exasperation Bella couldn't tell, Alice's breathe hitched and both Esme and Carlisle gave identical half smothered groans. The lovely blonde in the corner simply blinked and frowned in confusion.

Alice cocked her head slightly and wrinkled her nose in a daintily manner.

"It's redundant now." She said somewhat blithely, evidently pleased about something. "They'll be here in a moment."

--


	8. Crumble

Bella barely had time to register Alice's words, beyond an automatic feeling of nervous nausea, when the front door slammed ope

_I think I should have loved you presently,_

_And given in earnest words I flung in jest;_

_And lifted honest eyes for you to see,_

_And caught your hand against my cheek and breast;_

_And all my pretty follies flung aside_

_That won you to me, and beneath your gaze,_

_Naked of reticence and shorn of pride,_

_Spread like a chart my little wicked ways._

_I, that had been to you, had you remained,_

_But one more waking from a recurrent dream,_

_Cherish no less the certain stakes I gained,_

_And walk your memory's halls, austere, supreme,_

_A ghost in marble of a girl you knew_

_Who would have loved you in a day or two._

_Edna St. Vincent Millay_

Bella barely had time to register Alice's words, beyond an automatic feeling of nervous nausea, when the front door slammed open and three tall, muscular, stunning young men strode through it, three sets of amber eyes fixed on her.

She only really noticed one of them. The beautiful boy, with copper toned hair and gold eyes that blazed with hurt, anger, shock, disgust and despair.

"Bella." Edward acknowledged in one curt word. "What a surprise."

"Yes." She muttered. "I though it might be."

Their tense exchange was suddenly interrupted by a low, guttural growl that, surprisingly, did not come from either of them. It came from Jasper in fact, whose face was an impossible, deathly white (even for vampire) and who was glaring at Bella's sire with undeniable hatred in his eyes.

"What are you doing here?" He spat, closing the space between them in a threatening motion. Alice looked between them in surprise.

"Jas-"

"In my home? What the _hell_ are you doing here Stone?"  
"Now, now Jasper." Jon said lightly, his eyes hard and predatory. "I'm here as an honest and self sacrificing comrade. Here to save the lives of your lovely and _loyal_ family."

Jonathan's voice was sharp enough that no inhabitant of the room could ignore his insinuations. His eyes flitted over to Bella who was being embraced in a one armed hug by Emmett, who seemed somewhat oblivious to the anger in the room. Bella glared at Jon, but as she saw the new faces flinch slightly, she was a little glad she had him on her side. Jasper, looked away from Jon and registered the other person at his side. His eyes widened in shock and his face spit into a surprisingly pleasant grin.

"Bella?"

Bella gave him a half wave and smiled slightly. She had always liked Jasper since he had protected her during those awful days of running from James; she'd never held it against him that he'd taken a snap at her that one time.

Jasper's face darkened again and he turned back to Jon.

"You should get out of here. Now."

"No." Jonathan replied simply. "I'm here until Bella tells me to leave."

Jonathan and the Cullens turned to Bella obligingly, expectation written on their faces. Jasper scowled.

"What are you doing near Bella?"  
It was Edward who answered, his voice soft but his eyes incensed.

"He made her." Edward was looking at Jon in disgust. "He's the one who changed her."

Jasper growled, and he began to edge closer to Jon again, body poised for the offensive.

"Why does everybody assume I did it with out her consent…" Jon sniffed. "As if I'm some sort of…"

"You did do it with out her consent." Rosalie reminded him tartly. "Catch up, we already know that."

"A mere technicality." Jonathan argued with a wave of his hand, again focused solely on Rosalie and seemingly oblivious to the glares of Bella, Edward, Jasper and now Emmett. "This family discriminates very unfairly."

Bella snorted.

"Are you seriously acting the victim?" She asked acidly. "Considering we're in this mess because of your own stupidity."

Jonathan turned to her with his eyebrows raised.

"Does that mean that we're done procrastinating?" He asked. "I was rather hoping we would be gone by now."

"Fine." Bella snapped. "Although for the record we're here because of you alone."

"No, we came because of me alone. We are still here because of you." Jonathan's tone was perfectly pleasant as he argued with the rather less tolerant Bella. "So I would humbly and earnestly appreciate if you could just tell them so we can leave."

"Unless of course…" He smiled slyly. "You have incentive to stay."

Both Esme and Alice looked at her hopefully, and even Edward, perhaps only to Bella, looked slightly over interested in her reaction to this remark. Bella made a mortifying gargling noise at the back of her throat and willed herself to just fall into a hole and disappear.

How had bring Jon ever seemed like a good idea?

Unfortunately she was a vampire and an imminent death seemed like an unlikely possibility. So instead Bella decided to get to the point.

"The deaths in Forks… It's Volturi." She rushed out, biting her lip as eight faces turned to identical expressions of alarm. "It's my fault really… Well no, it's Jon's fault… But they were looking for me and now I think they might be…"

Carlisle interrupted her with an expression of ferocity so severe it astounded Bella into silence.

"I know what they want. This isn't the first time Aro has shown unusual and inappropriate interest of my families special gifts."

Edward's forehead wrinkled in thought.  
"Why were the Volturi looking for you?" He directed the question not at Bella but the patch of wall behind her shoulder.

His inability to meet her eyes hurt more then she would like to admit, even if she did deserve it. She knew she should have been upfront with him from that first moment in the meadow, but she had yearned so greatly for his touch and his affection, it had been intoxicating to allow herself his presence.

Bella realised suddenly that she had been staring at Edward for almost a minute; and that Esme, Alice and Jasper where all looking at her with curiosity. She coughed awkwardly and looked away.

"Jon thought that maybe… I mean I was…" Bella cleared her throat nervously. "Jon is acquainted with Marcus and he some how got it into his head that becoming part of the Volturi would give me meaning or exhilaration or…"  
She wrinkled her nose sheepishly.

"He thought maybe my own gift would be better appreciated with the Volturi…"

"What exactly is your gift Bella?" Carlisle asked politely. "Alice implied that you where able to hide your future, Edward is still unable to read your mind…"

"And if Jasper tried to manipulate my emotions he would fail at that too." Bella said helpfully. "My gift… hides me. I suppose it's a result of being almost invisible my entire human life, now I'm literally invisible, only in the metaphysical plane instead of the physical one."

"Fascinating." Carlisle murmured, his eyes burned with intellectual curiosity. "I wonder how broadly it can be extended… What exactly includes it self under your gift?"

Bella rose her eyebrows wirily and Carlisle, seemingly realising he was being inappropriate, quietened bashfully.

"It was stupid obviously but Jon thought he was doing it in my best interests…"

Jasper hissed again and in half a second had crossed the room so he was between Jon and Bella. Alice frowned in bemusement.

"Jasper! What the-"

"Is that what he told you!" Jasper demanded at Bella, who stepped back in apprehension.

"Jasper I don't think-"

Jasper turned to Jonathan, who was watching him impassively. Jasper's white face was twisted and horrifying in his rage.

"What? Did you think that I would let you lie to her like that?"

"You know nothing Jasper Cullen." Jonathan replied, his voice low and cautionary. "I was not-"

Jasper's eyes narrowed.

"You're despicable. She trusts you."

Bella glanced between Jon, Jasper and then to Edward who was studying her with an unfathomable expression on his face. As their eyes met she though she saw his lips quirk encouragingly, then Bella blinked and the smile was gone, leaving Bella to wonder if it had existed in the first place.

She focused fully on Jonathan who was sneering unpleasantly at Jasper, who in return looked close to tearing Jon's head off.

"What is he talking about?" She asked. "Jonathan? How is it that you know Jasper? Exactly."

Jonathan growled softly, his eyes hadn't shifted from Jasper.

"It's a rather a long story." Jonathan replied reluctantly, finally looking at Bella.

Bella was suddenly very afraid. The way Jasper looked at Jonathan, and the way he was beginning to look suspiciously at her, made her insides turn to ice. Jasper's expression seemed to wonder if Bella had laid her undead life in the hands of a monster. Not the animal drinking, vampire-lite kinda monster, but something much, much worse. Bella loved Jonathan, but she did not, could not trust him. Had she finally proved her loyalty misplaced?

She studied him carefully, staring deep into his dark, ochre eyes. She had known for years, for half a century, that Jon could not be fully trusted, that his morals were shady at best. Bella had never let it bother her before, because Jon had been the only being who had ever stayed with her, he had been a teacher, a mentor, a friend and so Bella had allowed his humour and his intelligence to charm her. She shuddered and looked at the floor.

"Tell me."

"Are you going to do it or shall I?" Jasper asked coldly. Jonathan nodded sadly.

"You do it. I'm sure you'll tell it with… relish."

Jasper couldn't stop the growl of contempt that escaped his throat, he simply seemed to muffle it between grit teeth.

"Very well."

Behind him Alice pushed her head under his arm and laid one tiny hand on Jasper's chest. She muttered something low enough and fast enough that it was inaudible to the rest of the room. Bella glanced at Edward slyly, but his face was impassive. Jasper, with his arm securely around his wife, turned slowly back to Bella with serious eyes. Bella stared back at him stonily and resisted the urge to gnaw her bottom lip.

"I never got the opportunity to tell you the story of my life before I joined the Cullens Bella." Jasper began softly. "It seems rather unfair… considering."

Bella's face hardened slightly. She wondered if Jasper was deliberately making a dig at her or if it was just an unfortunate choice of words. If it was the former then at least one of the Cullens thought of her as on the wrong side of the moral playing field, and there was something extremely unfair about _that_.

However Jasper immediately looked apologetic upon seeing her reaction and Bella allowed her-self to relax, somewhat.

"You see the conditions under which I grew up as vampire were considerably less pleasant then those of my family. As a human I was born in Houston, Texas and I joined the confederate army, of which, during my short life, I was quickly promoted through the ranks of. However despite my promising military career I was unaware that another, more fatal war was being fought just out of sight. You see Bella, in the south of our country, in places like Mexico and Texas our kind live a less… civilized life then that of northern nomads like ourselves. The human population is much denser there and the opportunities for a vampire are… exponentially greater."

Bella shuddered softly at the dark, almost wistful expression in Jasper's eyes. Not for the first time was Bella thankful she had never succumbed to her temptation to release the beast inside her and taste human blood. She was already vaguely aware of what Jasper was telling her, Jon had made it a habit to give her short history lessons concerning the vampire people. Yet it seemed a completely different reality when Jasper described it so eloquently and clearly from his vampire memory.

"In some parts, for instance Mexico City, if a vampire were the only one there he could drink as frequently and as deeply as he pleased with no one being the wiser. As you can imagine the competition over these areas is intense, many ambitious vampires wish to gain control over these cities to fulfil this excessive desire. So war has raged, unseen but felt by humans for hundreds of years, a war fought by the most powerful weapon nature had devised. The newborn vampire."

"It was into this world and as this weapon that I was born again and like my time in the human army I was triumphant in my raise through this vampire war zone. I lead a small group of newborns for a vampire named Maria, I'm sure you can imagine how effective I was at this task. Every night I would use the raw power of these strong but unrefined pawns to gain land and blood from the other vampire lords all over Texas and northern Mexico."

Jasper smiled menacingly and behind her in her peripheral vision, Edward winced at some unknown thought or memory.

"That was how I met Jonathan Stone."

Bella swallowed softly and glanced at Jonathan who was staring up at the ceiling, his face twisted with barely restrained anger.

"He wasn't a newborn was he?" She asked softly, her voice thick with disgust.

Jasper shook his head.

"He ruled over El Paso. Jonathan was the strongest of the vampires Maria asked me to fight, strong enough that under other circumstances she might not have risked it. However it had been Jonathan who had changed one of her partners Nettie, and Nettie begged her to achieve revenge. Yet when we arrived in El Paso Jonathan was already gone. We hadn't realised but Jonathan had been planning to vacate El Paso for greener soils long before we became a threat, and had systematically moved his entire army into Charlotte, North Carolina. So my army defeated an entirely different kind of militia then we might have faced in different times and took over El Paso with relative ease, but with no sighting of Jonathan himself. I allowed myself to forget he had ever existed."

"It was not until years later when my existence had become less comfortable and I was reconsidering both my life and my loyalties that Jonathan and I met for the first time. I was no longer with Maria, but with two human drinking friends Peter and Charlotte. Jonathan, sensing both my power and disillusion, invited me to join his army, which he promised was more powerful and more civilized then Maria's could ever hope to be. He was right, of course but I did not accept right away, I decided to visit and view their lifestyle… I was unsure, you have to understand, on the brink of the epiphany that would lead me to the Cullens and looking for real meaning. I saw immediately that had we actually fought Jonathan under real circumstances we would not have stood a chance. His army was superior in both raw power and refined ability and Jonathan himself was… a murderous visionary."

At this point Jasper shot Jonathan a dirty look and Bella exhaled the breath she did not realise she had been holding. Jonathan glanced at her appealing but Bella looked away. She could not correlate at this moment the Jon she knew and loved, the friend who had stayed by her side during darkest times, with the cold-blooded killer in Jasper's story… and yet it was too easy to believe to sit with Bella's consciousness. She curled into herself, wrapping her arms around her slim torso.

"Keep going." She ordered quietly. "I want to know it all."

Jasper nodded and his hold on Alice tightened.

"It didn't take me the few days I stayed with him to realise I wanted no part in his plan. I knew instinctually that Jonathan could succeed where others had failed, but not without collateral damage that not even I, especially not I, could come to terms with. Jonathan seemed unconcerned by the human and vampire price that would have to be paid for his domination, and yet I also do not believe he cared very much for the domination of land itself. He seemed to revel mostly in the challenge, playing with lives like they were a sick, twisted little game in which he must come out the victor. The things he did there… Things no being should, ever, be submitted to. Jonathan asked me to stay but I refused him and I left thoroughly sickened in a way an existence of violence and terror had not made me indifferent against. This was a different kind of horrible."

Jasper looked at Jonathan his nose wrinkled in disgust, Jonathan sneered back at him. They where like two dogs readying for a fight instead of two civilized beings, to Bella's eyes they had never been more like animals, more like killers.

"I suppose you didn't think I would bother keeping tabs on you." Jasper growled at Jonathan. "Or you wouldn't have come here."

Jonathan's sneer intensified.

"You don't know anything."

Jasper turned to Bella his face furious.

"It didn't work out the way he planned see? He was going so well, but he didn't count of the Volturi getting involved. The rumours took months to reach me; I was with Alice by then and weeks away from joining Carlisle's home but when they did I knew I had made the right decision. The Volturi had slaughtered Jonathan's entire army and they had taken Jonathan into custody."

Bella's breathe hitched. She knew enough about the Volturi to know that they did not easily leave prisoners and that Jonathan would not have escaped Volturra with out the full use of his bargaining skills.

"Apparently they allowed him to live under the condition he would…" Jasper hesitated for a second. "Bella, I'm sorry. Jonathan is a Volturi recruiter."

Facts fell into place and the sharp sting of betrayal left Bella breathless.

Jon's eyes widened slightly in an emotion not quite strong enough to be fear as she approached, she didn't stop until their faces where inches apart. They looked at each other silently, Bella's eyes hurt and searching. She shook her head as she stood back.

"Oh."

For a moment nobody moved or made a sound, then slowly and hesitantly Jonathan's breath tickled Bella's face and he clasped his hands onto her shoulders.

"Please forgive me."

Bella looked away, new betrayal tearing open old wounds. She pushed him away, her eyes filling up with tears that couldn't be shed.

"It was Marcus who saw my gift for recognizing those who would flourish in our world, he promised me my life if I 'enlisted' those humans I met who I believed were gifted. I have made many star pupils of the Volturi over the years but you… you my dear would have been my greatest find. You just had to be ready."

Bella shook her head vehemently.

"You're wrong. I would nev-"

Jonathan grabbed her wrist tightly, ignoring her hiss of disapproval.

"You have to know Bella, I was unaware of how fond I would become of you. I did this out of love. Please believe-"

"Stop it." Edward's voice was chilling, his posture dangerous. "Don't you dare ask her to trust you, you traitorous piece of dirt. How dare you talk to her like you deserve her trust? Like you deserve _her_."

Bella knew that rationally she should be furious with Edward in that moment, but as he looked over at her with pleading butterscotch eyes she couldn't bare to be, and a slight and treacherous trill of pleasure danced down her spine. She forced her gaze away, back to Jon who seemed to have assumed her self-righteous anger.

"Unlike you Edward Cullen." Jonathan said quietly, his tone vicious. "The vampire who swept her off her human feet for a few months and then got bored and _left_…"

"Jonathan…" Bella warned, the corners of her mouth tightened.

"You deserve her do you? You are worthy of her companionship? You destroyed her. You don't _deserve_ to be in the same room as her."

Edward was struggling to keep his face impassive, anger simmering just under the surface.

"I know that." He said, his voice steady. "I have come to terms with the fact I have never deserved to walk upon the same earth as Bella…"

"So it's jealousy then…" Jon provoked, his voice cruel now. "Bella doesn't want anything to do with you and yet she is attached to me… attracted even…"

"Jonathan!" Bella gasped, scandalised. In the same moment Edward darted forward with a roar, murder in his eyes. Bella was sure that it was only Carlisle holding Edward back that saved Jonathan his life. The room filled with loud, agitated voices.

"Edward! What the _hell_ is going on?"

An unfamiliar voice rang out over and both Bella and Jon turned in surprise to see the slight, blonde addition to the Cullen family staring at her brother with abject horror. Edward cooled slightly and turned to the stranger in surprise, as if only now noticing she was present. Jonathan cocked his head slightly and rose an eyebrow.

"You." Jonathan demanded, and Bella listened on curiously. "I don't know who you are."

The girl sneered prettily.

"Cecily Cullen."

Cecily's topaz irises flitted over to Bella and she frowned but extended a hand pleasantly which Bella, somewhat reluctantly, accepted.

"Hello, I'm-"

"I know who you are." Cecily said, her forehead creased. "You're Bella Swan and you're meant to be dead."

Bella pursed his lips as mortification hit her. There was too much assurance in Cecily's eyes, enough to tell Bella that Cecily knew exactly who she was. She was hardly surprised, but it still wounded her to know she was now little more then a side note in the Cullens history, another face in another picture on their wall. Bella wondered how much Cecily knew, enough no doubt. She wondered if Edward had told Cecily about lazy afternoons in a lost meadow and dreamlike midnight conversations. She wondered if Cecily knew that Edward had once belonged to her alone, for a very short moment.

She doubted it.

"Actually," Edward retorted, calmer now. "I wouldn't mind hearing that story myself."

"It's not important." Bella said coldly and she winced internally as a flash of hurt appeared in Edward's stunning eyes.

"Not important at all." Jon murmured, his eyes still fixed on Cecily's exquisite face. His yellow eyes where lit up hungrily like an art aficionado looking upon The Mona Lisa for the first time.

"Jon…" Bella hissed and Jonathan seemed to snap out of his daze. He smiled at Cecily, his charm returning.

"I don't suppose you would like to join Marcus when he arrives. I'm sure the Volturi would appreciate a lady of your… calibre."

Cecily didn't even have time to voice her indignant refusal when Jasper flashed across the room with a roar, his expression livid.

It was an automatic reaction, but as soon as Bella realised Jasper's intentions she was flying too. Her body collided with his seconds before Jasper's teeth reached for Jon's throat and she growled as he rolled skilfully across the floor onto his feet. Bella turned to Jon, her eyes frantic.

"Go now." She ordered.

"Where?" Jonathan asked quietly and desperately.

"I don't care." Bella growled. "Just don't be _here_."

He was gone before she could blink, the rush of air settled on her cold face as she turned back to Jasper, who was undeniably enraged. Bella tossed her dark hair and stiffened haughtily; she glared right at Jasper and ignored the shocked expressions of the rest of the Cullen's.

"You don't hurt him." She grit out. "Not ever. Understand?"

"So that's how it is now Bella?" Jasper asked dangerously. "You're protecting the likes of him."

"Look!" She snapped, making perfectly sure the Cullen family knew she was talking to all of them. "I get that the whole vampire thing probably comes as a shock to you all, as does, I'm sure, my acquaintance with Jon but guess what? You don't get to have an opinion about that, or, by the way, anything about my life. _Any of you_."

There were various reactions from the Cullen's at that. All looked pained in some way, none more so then Alice or Esme who both flinched as if Bella had physically slapped them, Carlisle stood motionless, his beautiful face regretful and to his left the stunning Rosalie seemed to be battling with anger and despair, Emmett, beside Rosalie, looked confused but obviously and terribly sympathetic for Bella. Jasper snarled softly, but even he looked apologetic. Bella could barely look at Edward although most of her anger was directed at him, but out of the corner of her eye Edward's shape was as impassive as ever.

"You all left." Bella said, softer. "I don't particularly know your reasons and I don't care… I've done my best with my life, I've made the best friends I could and I don't need any of you… you perfect, compassionate Cullens telling me I'm living my life wrong. I'm doing the best I can. So butt out."

There was an awful silence and Bella was immediately smacked with the force of her regret. She felt suddenly and awfully guilty, after all for better or for worse she still owed the Cullens her life.

"I-I'm sorry." She said softly, averting her gaze from the room of golden eyes. "I'm shouldn't have said that."

"No." Carlisle said, his voice purposefully mild. "It was very fair."

"No it wasn't." Bella shook her head vindictively and brought one shaking hand to her mouth. She could guarantee that if she didn't get out of this room at once, vampire or not, she was going to burst into tears. "I'm sorry… I should go."

"Will you be back?" Alice asked quietly.

Bella glanced over at Edward, whose striking bronzed eyes where blazing into hers; she shook her head weakly and for a moment she swore she could see disappointment flash through them.

"No. Alice, I don't think so."

"Please…"

Bella felt even worse for ignoring Alice's plea, but she couldn't bear to be in the company of these perfect creatures anymore. She had thought, perhaps, now she would be worthy. She was just as strong, just as beautiful… but she was weak and she was in the wrong.

So she fled.


	9. Fragile, As We Lie

It didn't take Alice's exasperated cry of 'Go get her

**AN: You guys! The response for the last chapter was fantastic, so I thought I'd release this chapter a little early. Keep it up. **

_Hard to foresee the future_

_Our bodies were growing thin_

_Glimpsing the peeling paint of_

_The nurse's ivory chain_

_You've got a lot of nerve coming here_

_Your eyes are beating rhythms way_

_Faster than the speeding bullet that_

_took the life of your radio_

_Wake up in the morning I shall_

_Wake up and so shall you_

_And I wake up, the sun is beautiful_

_And it is warming you and I_

_Fragile as we lie_

_One Day I Slowly Floated Away - Eisley_

It didn't take Alice's exasperated cry of 'Go get her!' to spur Edward into action. He had read the guilt and apprehension in those frightened eyes that he loved so well, and he had known that Bella was, well, still Bella. His heart had soared for exactly 2.3 seconds before Bella had raced off into the woods, then it had plummeted as he was faced with the possibility of loosing her again.

His skin quivered slightly, a fought back shudder as he remembered the fear in her eyes. Fear, of them, of her family. He felt stupid now, as wrapped up in his own emotions as he had been, so fully engulfed by his own self-loathing that he had not even realised she had been real. He should have grabbed her then, pulled her roughly and inarguably back into their lives. If not then he knew he should have said something to her after the shock of her appearance had subsided and yet he had stood alone and watched her, drinking in her every movement and every emotion. He had flipped between elation and despair so quickly it all blurred together, until he felt disassociated from his own mind, helpless to do anything else but watch her.

Shoulda, woulda, coulda, Edward thought miserably.

His mind flicked involuntary to their second guest today, and he bit back a growl. Hatred, pure and unadulterated, had been directed at Bella's companion since he saw her change in Jonathan's mind. No, that was a lie, it was a moment before then when he saw Bella come to Jonathan's rescue, her slim hand slipping reassuring onto that monster's arm. He had hated him then, worse then he had ever hated anyone. Jasper's story only justified that hate, but confused him more on how Bella could stand to be within fifty feet of the maniac.

He would have to ask her, just as soon as he caught up with her. Where ever she was.

Edward stopped suddenly and frowned, sniffing the air. Her scent was gone; the unmistakable scent of freesias had disappeared from the air. He could still feel the vibrations of her feet, but with no idea which way Bella had gone, the dark vacuum of despair that lived in his stomach roared. He gazed appealing up into the green foliage and like an omnipotent sign, Alice's voice sounded in his head.

"_Please don't loose her Edward…" _She was thinking anxiously. _"She looked so displaced… I don't know if she'll ever find her way home if you don't talk to her, tell her how you feel. You know her best of all; you have to make her see. We're her family, Edward, we love her…"_

The other voices of his family joined Alice's. Carlisle's compassionate one:

"_Please let her know Edward, that she will always have a place here… no matter how far away we are from each other we're still family, she is still our daughter, our sister, our friend. Nothing will change that."_

To Jasper's gruff one:

"_She's confused right now Edward, confused and a hundred and one other emotions that are going to get in your way. You have to make her understand though Edward, before that… filth gets to her."_

Esme's soft, uneasy tone:

"_Oh, that poor girl. She looked so scared. This was not how it was meant to be…"  
_Emmett's:

"_Wow, Bella was like a completely different person. I mean did you see that blow she gave Jasper? Man, she's going to be a fun addition to our baseball games!"_

Rosalie's shallow but genuine affection:

"_We need her back Edward Cullen. I'm sick of living with out her because, really, you suck with out Bella. Bring her back Edward… bring her back to us."_

And finally Cecily's thoughtful meditation:

"_I don't think she liked me very much… Perhaps when Edward brings her back we'll be friends. She seems very interesting."_

"Shut up!" Edward roared into the sky, despite the fact no member of his family would be close enough to hear unless they were listening for him. "I'm doing my best! I don't know where she went!"

"_Suck it up!" _Alice's thoughts ordered. _"Where do you think she could of gone? Damn it Edward, think."_

As he forced himself to relax, to let his thoughts come, the answer came to him in a flash, blatantly and embarrassing obvious. He was off at a run in a millisecond.

"Thanks Alice!" He called over his shoulder.

"_What would you guys do with out me?" _The Alice voice said smugly. _"Seriously."_

Edward didn't bother answering. He didn't exhale again until he reached the edges of Bella and his sacred little meadow.

She stood in the centre, perfectly still with her eyes close and her face frozen in an expression of absolute anguish. He walked softly and slowly towards her, perfectly aware that despite the fact he made no sound she knew he was there. As he drew close her eyes opened and she gave him an expression of tired defeat.

"What do you want Edward?" She asked, her voice loud and clear in the soundless countryside.

"Why did you run?" He blurted out before he could think. It was like everything about her was specifically designed to throw him off course, the fact her mind was a locked door was immaterial.

She looked at him in exasperation, but every movement seemed to be half done as if she was giving up, finally.

"Why do you think Edward? I was alone. My lone ally turned out to be a psychotic warlord, _my one friend_. Even Esme and Alice were looking at me like I was some sort of monster. Jasper looked ready to kill me… and you Edward…"

She shook her head.

"I don't have the energy to do this any longer. I'm so tired Edward, I just want to be done."

He grabbed her hand and pulled her down next to him, so that they both sat in the damp grass. Bella made a short yelp of surprise and detangled her fingers from his.

"Edward!"

"No." He ordered. "Stop it."

He traced one long finger along the white ridge of her jaw, tempted to lean in a few inches and replace his finger with his lips. She was so close to him and the possibilities tempted as much as they teased.

"This has gone on long enough." He muttered. "If I had any idea you were alive…"

He glared at her.

"Bella, why the hell didn't you find us?"

Bella sniffed irritably.

"How, Edward, can you possibly ask me that? For months while we were together you did nothing but install inside me how utterly repulsive the idea of me being a vampire was to you. Now why would I, the girl who had already been rejected by you once, purposefully seek that out?"

"You don't think I would have stayed by you?" Edward asked softly, snatching her hand and holding it to his chest, ignoring her attempts to reclaim it.

"I know you would have helped me." Bella sighed. "That's the point. I don't want your chivalry, Edward. I never want you to help me out of pity or guilt."

Chivalry? Really? Did she not remember, she, the girl he loved with a passion that had consumed his entire life, burning everything it touched. Had she really believed that he would care for her only out of obligation, that it would be a better alternative to seek companionship with a human feeding fiend then look for help with him.

"That's it." He ordered, springing to his feet. "This stops now. Bella, we have to talk about things."

Bella looked up at him with a frown and shook her head.

"I would rather not."

"Tough. I'm sick of not knowing about your life Bella. I above _all_ people should know… I _want_ to know. We both deserve absolution Bella Swan, we both deserve the truth."

Bella sighed, her eyes flickering around the meadow for a moment, searching for an escape route. She huffed, but nodded in defeat.

"Fine. What ever you want Edward."

Her tiny body doubled over as she studied the earth, her neck arched as if awaiting the slip of the hangman's noose. He wondered what she was so afraid of hearing as he fell back onto his knees and slipped his arm around her shoulder. She flinched slightly, but thankfully did not pull away.

He hesitated slightly as he formed his first question. He had to go slow, least he scare her into more drastic action.

"How long have you been…" His voice gave out on him, but Bella caught his point.

"Fifty eight years in November."

"And how…"  
Bella frowned slightly as if trying to reassemble her half forgotten human memories.

"I got into Stanford and left Forks. The last year of high school was not… good." Edward wondered if she felt him stiffen. She continued on as if she had not. "So I went off to Stanford and for a while that worked out ok. It was easier to forget there, I wasn't being constantly reminded of…"

She looked at him apologetically for some reason and Edward rose an eyebrow.

"What?"

"I'm sorry." She said ruefully. "I promised I wouldn't dwell on you after… I just… It was harder then it sounded."

His eyebrows almost disappeared into his hairline at the irony of that statement. Bella apologizing to him, the guy who had been holed up in an attic, sulking for two decades and who had thought about… Who had lived nothing else but her for sixty years, She was apologizing to him for being too hung up on their relationship.

He almost chuckled.

"Perfectly forgivable." He said flatly instead.

Bella looked away and continued talking.

"Everything was fine until I took Jon's Vampiric Lore 101 lecture. I suppose you can guess how the story ends."

Edward's eyes widened in a combination of anger, amusement and general exasperation. Bella held up a hand defensively.

"Don't even say it Edward… I know it was stupid. It was just one of those whim decisions."

There were so many things he could say that, none that she didn't already know. The look in her amber eyes told him to drop it, so he did. He pondered his next question, vividly aware of Bella studying him.

"Is there anything you would like to ask?" He asked politely, aware that he had so far monopolized the conversation.

"Not yet." Bella replied softly. "Later."

Edward shrugged slightly, pausing only momentarily to wonder what her questions could be.

"What have you been doing since then?"

"It's not riveting." She said, absently tugging out blade after blade of green grass. "I'm sure you'll be happy to know that I spend very little time with Jon, or for matter of fact, any of my other human eating acquaintances. For the most part of the last decade or so I've been right here in Forks."

"Really?" Edward asked curiously. "Why is that?"

Bella shrugged slightly, barely moving at all.

"I'm not sure. I suppose it's as good a place as any. I like being around Charlie's old things and well… There are good memories here… as well as bad."

She turned away from him, so quickly that Edward only caught a brief look at the flash of pain in her deep eyes. Despite the ache in his heart that accompanied the knowledge she was hurting, Edward took some guilty, perverse comfort in it. It gave him hope that she still cared… still loved him.

"What do you do here?"

"Nothing." She replied flatly. "The same things I've been doing in every other foggy out of the way mountain town in America. I read sometimes, occasionally I go and visit Jonathan."

She tilted her head pensively.

"I was becoming quite accustomed to the idea of an eternity of solitude."

He grinned brilliantly at the obviously Freudian slip of the tongue. Bella seemed to go several shades paler as she realised what she said, and a look of intense embarrassment passed over her face. Edward didn't care, this was a sign that the idea of Bella rejoining their family was growing in her mind, being considered and pondered.

"Was? Does that mean…"  
"Please don't Edward…" She said softly.

For a moment Edward felt ardent disappointment, but the image of Bella beside him for the rest of eternity was too clear and too blissful for him to abandon. He was well due for a change of tact anyway, leaving her alone had clearly not worked so perhaps this was a case for all guns blazing. He had failed her once, but there was still good to be made of the situation. He would make Bella happier then she had ever been, he swore it.

"Please." He begged.

He kneeled down again and took her cold hand in his. It felt unsatisfying somehow, when all he really wanted to do was close the gap between them and touch her lips with his. For a moment he considered doing just that, but the dangerous glint in Bella's eyes deemed it a bad idea.

"I…" Her gaze was everywhere but on him, flitting around the meadow like the eyes of a caged animal. Her voice was careful, emotions calculated. "…can't."

"We miss you." Edward whispered dejectedly. "I _miss_ you."

Her beautiful features twisted bitterly, but she did not move from his awkward embrace. Her hand tightened, in fact, around his and she looked up at him appealingly.

"Please don't take this the wrong way Edward…" She said sadly. "But I don't think you missed me enough."

So that was it. He couldn't blame her for feeling vengeful, for wanting to see the same pain in his eyes as he had caused for her. It hurt him, more then he could say, but he couldn't blame her. Nor could he fully explain how deeply and intensely he had missed her.

"I-I…" He blustered. "It shouldn't matter. I don't care if you don't like me, but you would be so much happier with us. Just imagine Bella…"

He stopped short when he realised Bella was looking at him in surprise.

"Oh." She whispered, her voice hard to hear under the sound of the howling wind. "No… That wasn't what I meant."

Edward's brow furrowed in confusion. If that wasn't what she meant then… The look in her eyes as she gazed at him questioningly told him, those golden orbs filled with sadness, anger and most importantly beautiful, awe inspiring love.

"Oh." He breathed and Bella's face fell slightly, her expression pained.

"I'm sorry. I know that… well I realise that it's not reciprocated but I can't help it I'm afraid. I think I may always love you and there isn't anything you can do about it."

She turned away from him, breaking his hold on her hand. Carefully she stood, hiding her face from him. Edward blinked several times as the shock of the statement engulfed him. He had never, ever expected Bella to love him the way he adored her, and yet he could not deny the passion in her voice. The other point, the idea that _he_ didn't reciprocate _her_ love was ridiculous and again it almost made him chuckle with delight. Elation made him light with ecstasy, until the realisation that he still had not voiced any of these thoughts brought him quickly down to earth.

She was standing a little away from him, waiting patiently but reluctantly for him to respond. He appreciated that it was probably an effort for Bella to not flee the moment she had declared emotional involvement, but he was enormously grateful. Not that he wouldn't have chased after her, but this was just so very much more convenient.

He was by her side in a flash, his arm wrapping easily around her slim waist. He grinned and brought his lips down by her ear.

"You seem to be under some sort of misconception Miss Swan." He said seriously, he felt her shiver pleasantly against him. "There is one thing I can do about it."

Then his lips where suddenly nowhere near her ear. He captured her lips with his in hungry reverence, the kiss harder, more demanding, much more passionate then any kiss they had ever experienced together. The combined warmth of her mouth was an interesting contrast to the coolness under his hands as they grasped her naked shoulders, and Edward felt himself slowing down his mind so that he could remember every detail of their union. Her hesitant touch as her hands made their way up his face, tangling finally in his hair, the soft scent of freesias that was much more delectable (but happily, not appetizing) up close. Edward wanted to remember all of this, least he never have a chance to relive it.

Gently he broke off the kiss and leant his forehead against hers, a crooked grin sneaking unbidden across his features.

"Odd." He muttered happily. "You taste like cinnamon. You would think I would remember something like that."

--

She had distanced herself slightly from him, and although Edward was still flying on the aftermath of their kiss he realised he was not completely forgiven. She had silently led him back to the centre of the meadow and as dusk fell for a while they both lay silently with their thoughts. Edward interchanged between quietly watching her look up at the stars, her mouth parted slightly in wonder, and loosing himself in a reverie of his own. He had complete conviction that he would persuade her, it was no longer a matter of want on her side, only a matter of hesitation and that, he knew, he could dissolve. Yet it pained him slightly to know that that same conviction was difficult for Bella herself to come by, more so because it was his own fault. When his thoughts became too deep, he would turn his head slightly and study her new features and expressions. He would remember their kiss and try to recall every detail he could remember.

He allowed her to be the one to break the easy silence, despite the number of burning questions running rampant in his brain. Not least_: What will it take to bring you back to me?_

"What else do you want to know?" She asked obliviously, her tone lighter then it had been for hours. Nervously she edged towards him, and allowed herself to be wrapped back up into his embrace. Edward beamed and pressed his lips lightly against her hair, inhaling her floral scent.

"Many things." He said gravely, letting his smile falter slightly. Then it was back as brilliantly as before. "But it's your turn. There must be things you're curious about."

Bella wrinkled her nose slightly.

"Only one thing comes to mind and it would absolutely mortify me to say it I'm afraid."

His curiosity peaked and he squeezed her shoulder reassuringly.

"Go on."

She shook her head vehemently.

"No please. You go first at least."

He was keenly aware, and amused, of her attempt to distract him into forgetting her slip, but he allowed it anyway, promising himself he would bring it up again.

"Ok."

He frowned slightly as he wondered if it was too soon to question her on his biggest point of contention. He was sorry to disturb their intimate state, but honestly he could not imagine a better opportunity opening itself up to him.

"Jon?" He asked finally, less of a question and more, despite his best intentions, of a demand. Bella made a face but happily did not make any attempt to move from his arms.

"I was wondering when you would bring that up."

She was quiet for a few moments and then she spoke with a soft, slightly regretful tone.

"I know you don't understand it, but Jonathan has been my closest companion for so many years I doubt I could ever hate him. He's an enigma you see, a very interesting man and despite all his faults he is irrefutably fond of me."

Edward swallowed the indignant remark that Jonathan Stone was a cold-blooded monster and not worthy of her sympathy or affection. Yet she saw it in his eyes as clearly as if he had spoken.

"Don't be like that Edward." She said quietly, tugging on his sleeve. "It's very hard for you to understand that kind of loneliness. Perhaps it is unforgivable for me to have ignored his… sinfulness, but he was nothing but gracious to me and I was…"

She shrugged against him.

"Lonely."

Edward buried his face in her hair again and hugged her close, bathing himself in her scent.

"I hate that you were reduced to that." He muttered thickly. "I wish you could have just come to me. I will never forgive myself."

"It wasn't so bad. I think that if I were able to associate the Jonathan in Jasper's story with my friend it would be a different case, but the Jonathan I know is compassionate, hilarious, interesting and loving. In all fairness, he's the best friend I could have hoped for under the circumstances."

Edward entwined his fingers with hers and studied their joined hand intently. He planted a soft whisper of a kiss onto her temple.

"Bella?" He asked cautiously. "Will you come home with me tonight?"

Bella stiffened slightly, and then her body slumped dejectedly against him. She raised her head and looked at him forlornly, her eyes two shining gold coins.

"I haven't decided yet."

"Why?"  
His voice was thick with frustration, despite his best efforts otherwise. For the life of him Edward couldn't understand her reluctance. His own impatience seemed to be shredding his sanity, for sixty years he had longed for her touch. Didn't she feel the same way?

"Please don't think this hasn't been lovely." Bella said softly, her voice the melody of wind chimes in the breeze. "But honestly Edward, I can't imagine that you can comprehend just how attached I am to you. I'm not another vampire, mooning after human memories. I love you. Just as much as I did fifty years ago."

"Why can _you_ not comprehend?" Edward replied, his voice grave. "How deeply attached _I_ am to _you_. Why do you insist on denying it?"

Bella looked perplexed.

"I'm sorry Edward. It's just how I feel." Her jaw tensed as if recounting something very painful, and Bella looked up at him beseechingly. "Eventually I'm not going to be enough for you and… I don't think I can stand you leaving me again Edward."

Edward deserved to die a thousand deaths; one was just too merciful for him, however painful. The thought of her believing those awful, blasphemous lies not just for a year or two… but for almost half a century, the idea of pure, perfect Bella living alone because she though _he_ didn't want _her_ was an idea more painful then any vampire venom.

He pulled her against him again, and as his lips found hers he discovered a new sort of serenity.

"You will never understand how deeply I regret telling you those awful things Bella." He told her fiercely. "And I told them only because out of the thousands of lives I could have lived, I have never been good enough, or pure enough to deserve one with you. You, Bella Swan, are perfection and I am not worthy, but I swear given another chance I would not leave your side again."  
Her expression was wary and Edward could have cried. She still didn't believe him.

"I told you I loved you a thousand times." He whispered helplessly. "Did you ever believe me?"

"Yes." Bella admitted. "Of course I did…"

"And that one lie… That one awful, stupid lie was enough to discount all of those times I promised you my heart?"

"Well…" Bella looked bashful; nervously she began to gnaw on her bottom lip. "Edward, it never made sense for you to love me. I mean think of it objectively… You're the magical, brilliant, beautiful Edward Cullen, vampire with a conscience and I was just… Bella. I knew that."

Edward knew that she saw his jaw tightening and his eyes narrowing, but he could not control the anger that his face displayed.

"You." He said shortly. "Are absurd. Not to mention you have it completely the wrong way around. I don't even know where to start…"

Bella smiled sadly and she traced one long white finger down the bridge of his nose. It was a strangely tender motion.

"I suppose it doesn't matter anymore." She said, her voice straining for an emotion like gaiety. "For better or worse I'm a little less normal now."

Her voice broke softly, and Edward realised with a start that she was afraid again. With a good-natured groan he cradled her face in his two hands, leaning over to plant a short affectionate peck on her forehead.

"Silly Bella." Edward chuckled and Bella smiled, the expression lighting up her face. "I don't care if you're dead, alive, vampire or werewolf. My love for you is unconditional."

"Oh." Bella said softly, her grin widening. "Werewolf? Even if I smelt like rotten meat and wet fur."

"Even then,"

"Oh." Something seemed to click in her eyes and she leaned forward to brush his lips with hers. "I suppose I could wrap my head around the idea eventually."

"I suppose you'll have to."

Bella pulled away slightly and leant back onto her elbows, her neck craned as she looked up into the night sky. Edward was transfixed by her beauty, white limbs shining like buffed marble in the moonlight, her dark hair falling over her shoulders like silk, her large eyes dark in the night but glittering like opals. This was where he belonged, there was no home or family with out her and he had been a fool to think otherwise.

"It might take a while." She told him quietly. "Although I _suppose_ that I could become accustomed to your adoration _and_ become reacquainted with my family at the same time."

Her face split in a grin, and Edward's heart seemed to flip impossibly with joy.

"Do you mean it?"  
Bella pulled him beside her vivaciously. Her cool red lips brushed his and her hands entwined themselves with his large ones.

"I'm ready to be happy now Edward."  
They settled themselves back down in the damp grass, the starry night sky reflecting in their pupils as they studied it.

"So…" Edward said casually, Bella's face turned so that their nose lay inches apart. "Will you ask me my question now?"

Bella bit her lips and shook her head sheepishly.

"I'd rather not."

"You can ask me anything Bella." Edward promised her, his voice barely audible but easily caught in her sensitive hearing.

"It's embarrassing." Bella whispered back, rueful. "You'll think I'm four."

He was curious now.

"Please tell me." He pleaded, snatching her hand greedily and bring it to his mouth. He felt her shiver in delight as he grazed her knuckles with his lips.

Her expression schooled into an expression that would have accompanied a blush, had she possessed the blood for it.

"Cecily?" She blurted out, and then ripped her hand from Edward's and slapped it over her mouth. "Opps. I'm sorry that was hardly tactful."

Edward was bemused, his lips tightening into a slight frown.

"Are you jealous." He said finally, more amused then was appropriate.

Bella scowled.

"I am not. I'm just… curious."

She was not just curious, the slight pained element in her tone told him that. Edward could understand why Cecily's existence would bother Bella, who had suffered half a century of loneliness in his honour. But regardless of what Bella believed, Cecily had never been created as a replacement for her. Still Bella deserved the full story, after all Cecily had hers.

"We found Cecily in England, or rather Carlisle and the others did, I was somewhere in Brazil sulking." Edward began slowly. "Her body was broken beyond repair, not just with fresh injuries but with old ones and she was in the last leg of a long journey to death. It has never been specifically discussed, but Carlisle believes that Cecily suffered through severe domestic abuse as a human and it was in this way that she dumped in an alleyway to die. Either way it is not particularly important now, Cecily does not remember any part of her human life or even her original name."

"Oh…" Bella breathed, her face compassionate. "How awful."

Edward nodded, and continued on with his story unabated.

"You have to understand that during this time I was in an awful state. I rarely fed, never spoke and thought only of you and things that could have been. Carlisle saw an opportunity in Cecily's birth to motivate me to live again and for the most part he succeeded. He was right you see, for a while it was very easily to live just for my sister, helping her acclimatize to our ways, teaching her to feed and fight. Numbness set in above all other things, and I was able to exist again."

He looked at her earnestly.

"It wasn't the same though. My heart hadn't beat in almost one hundred and ten years but this was different. It was like my heart was gone- like I was hollow. Like I left everything that was inside me with you."

Bella closed the gap between them, her lips brushing his affectionately.

"I thought it was just me."

"Do you understand now?" He beseeched. "Just how painful it was for me to be parted from you. Do you understand?"

Her eyes were hopeful, but faith did not quite reach her eyes when she nodded. Edward just hoped in time she would know never to doubt his love for her. He knew that they were just simply two pieces of a whole. One soul, stitched back together now and healing.

"Is there anything else?" He asked.

"No." Her voice was quiet as she kissed him again, her lips flushed against his cold ones. "I'm ready now."


	10. Over The Rainbow

AN: It's been a bit of while since I've updated, sorry about that

AN: It's been a bit of while since I've updated, sorry about that. This is a short chapter, I promise the next one will come soon. In answer to Vanilfrappe who asked why the Volturi would show interest in Cecily. John thinks Cecily would make a good Fisher. Cecily does not have an active 'gift' like Edward, but she does have an enhanced magnetism, because she is very beautiful and very lovely.

_--_

_GLINDA_

_Then close your eyes and think to yourself 'There's no place like home._

_There's no place like home.'_

_DOROTHY_

_'There's no place like home. There's no place like home.'_

--

Her grip on him tightened as the house came into view, particularly picturesque in the raising dawn. The pink sky surprised him as they slowed to a stop; he wondered how it was possible that they had been talking for over ten hours.

"Why have we stopped?" He asked her, watching her tense form in his peripheral vision.

"I just need a moment." Bella muttered, her entire form rigid in intense concentration.

"Is this very hard for you?" He asked, more out of curiosity then anything else. At this point he was more then willing to drag Bella home.

"A bit." She said sadly. "Perhaps I should take this slowly. Stay at Charlie's for while longer. I don't want to impose."

This particular brand of hesitation shocked him, and the arm that he had slung possessively around her shoulders tightened.

"Nonsense. You are silly Bella, everybody's been dying for you to stay with us."

"I think you're a bit bias." Bella teased, poking his rib gently. She shifted again in discomfort, her beautiful features undecided. "-And I doubt that _everybody_ feels that way."

She paused deliberately and scuffed her toes into the wet grass.

"I think Jasper is considerably irritated at me at the very least."

Edward did not have time to roll his eyes at that comment before the front door of his home sprung open and two vampires strolled out. Alice sprung lightly down the garden in dancer steps, the wind rustling her crop of hair and making her look almost human in the dim light of daybreak. Her smile was blinding, but not with out smugness. She waved gaily. Her partner followed at a slower pace, happy to allow Alice to reach them first. He did not extend the same enthusiasm that Alice had reined, but to Bella's obvious relief, he did not seem particularly malevolent.  
"Hello Bella!" Alice cooed happily, coming to stop in front of them, Edward rose an eyebrow at his sister, and the darker vampire wiggled her own in response. "We thought that we'd greet you at the door before you decided to set up camp out here."

Bella smiled ruefully and Edward chuckled.

"We were just about to go in." He said solemnly, his eyes twinkling.

"Psssch!" Alice made a noise of disbelief. "Please, I don't need psychic powers to know you could've been standing here for hours. Seriously you two are the worst emotional procrastinators I've ever encountered."

Bella made a quiet noise of surprise when Alice reached out and grabbed her hand. Entwined the two girls traipsed back to the house, their mates trailing on their heels.

Edward took the opportunity to shoot Jasper a meaningful look, his eyes hard and questioning. Jasper's composed features rearranged themselves sheepishly.

"_Is Bella angry with me then?" _His internal voice asked.

Edward shook his head minutely.

"_It's very frustrating not knowing exactly what she's feeling."_

Edward gave Jasper a look of pure exasperation. In front of them Alice turned slightly and narrowed her eyes.

"Care to share gentlemen."

Edward schooled his features innocently.

"Football statistics."

Bella's beautiful face was curious before she turned away, and Edward could almost hear the ticking of thoughts in her head. Her steps were cautious as she walked into the house, even attached to the practically skipping Alice. Within a few feet she had materialised back to his side, her small hand fishing for his. Alice hardly seemed offended by this; in fact she seemed to find renewed elation in the intimacy between them. She too returned to her mate, her arm threaded lazily through Jaspers.

Alice lead the small group into the large room at the front of the house designed primarily for greeting guests. Of course a coven of blood sucking vampires didn't entertain on a regular basis so it had been used over the years only as a recreation area. The morning cast long shadows across the room, flooding over the pale faces of the three vampires already waiting on the sofa. Esme leapt to her feet, unable to contain her delight and rushed forward a few paces before slowing in hesitation, the memory of her previous rejection still raw. It was Bella who covered the remaining space, propelling herself deftly into Esme's arms.

"You're home." The older vampire muttered into Bella's hair. "Thank you."

Edward watched mesmerized as Bella pulled away. The scene of easy family affection so powerfully wonderful after so many years of the Cullen family being incomplete,

Carlisle beamed, coming up to share an affectionate embrace with Bella, which she eagerly returned. Emmett bounded off his seat and enveloped Bella, as well as the unfortunate Carlisle, into a bear hug.

"Heya Bells." He boomed blithely. "You look good. Have you been working out? Gone on a diet? Been turned into a heathen from the netherworld lately?"  
Edward coughed meaningfully and Emmett dropped Bella and Carlisle with a start.

"Hello Emmett." Bella said weakly. "How nice to see you again."

Edward rolled his eyes when he heard Emmett's inane thoughts. The larger vampire pouted in disappointment when he voiced them.

"Is that all get. I was hoping you'd send me flying through a wall or something. I was looking forward to it."

From another door located on the far side of the room, Rosalie floated in, a vision of blonde hair and impossible beauty.

"Never you, Emmett dear." She placated, patting her husband's arm lovingly. "Never you."

Rosalie skipped over and planted a kiss on Bella's cheek. Bella flinched only slightly in surprise.

"Hello Bella."

"Hello Rosalie." Bella said softly, and Rosalie grinned. "You look well."

"You look different, but also well. It is very good to have you back with us."

"Is it?" This time Bella's surprise was not well hidden. Rosalie winked cheerfully.

"Please forgive me Bella, the rudeness of our previous acquaintance-"

"Oh, no please don't apologize." Bella interrupted hurriedly. "It was perfectly understandable."

"But you didn't." Rosalie said bluntly. "It's not important. I suppose I will explain it to you in time but until then-"

Rosalie's long arms wrapped around Bella's smaller, slighter body, Bella stiffened for only a moment before relaxing into the hug.

"Welcome home."

As Bella moved away from Rosalie and tucked herself back into his side, Edward's heart flipped. Every time she touched him now it was like a circuit completing, like a jigsaw falling into place. The part of him which had lamented its deficiency, now sung with unadulterated joy as her fingers brushed his knuckles tenderly, their skin cool against each other.

He looked around the room of beaming, happy faces and Edward too could not stop the grin that spread across his face.

"Where is Cecily?" He asked suddenly, noticing the conspicuous absence of his youngest sister.

Esme frowned slightly and looked upward towards the upper stories.

"Perhaps she went hunting?"

Any other speculation was quickly prevented by the loud thump of a slamming door. Against him Edward felt Bella stiffen slightly, her breathing coming to a halt as Cecily entered the room. The teenager, beautiful in her blondeness and supposed innocence, studied the room for a moment before her face broke out into a dazzling smile.

"Oh a reunion." She said happily. "How lovely."

Edward blessed Cecily's natural magnetism as Bella's body relaxed instantaneously, only maintaining a fraction of the tension it had held a moment before.

"Hello Cecily." Alice chirped. "I'd like to reintroduce you to a good friends of mine. Cecily this is Bella Swan."  
It was just like Alice to ignore the fact Cecily and Bella had already been introduced under somewhat harsher circumstances. The rest of the family paused slightly in nervous anticipation

Bella was hesitant but thankfully undeniably pleasant as she stepped away from him and extended her hand to Cecily. Cecily looked at it for a moment, ignore it and capture Bella in a quick hug. She pulled back with a grin.

"I'm Cecily Cullen." She said pleasantly. Her tone was not cool, but to Edward's ears slight weary. "I suppose that makes us sisters now."

"Yes." Bella agreed, her lips turning up. "It does. Edward has told me a lot you, It's nice to meet you and see its all true."

Cecily narrowed her eyes playfully at her brother.

"Edward Cullen what tales have you been telling?"

"Only good ones." Bella lied with a grin. "I'm sure the stories he could tell about me would be a hundred times more mortifying."

Edward snorted and pulled her up, kissing her lips with a fiery elation.

"I don't remember telling anything too embarrassing." He said.

"You could have though." Emmett said blithely. "I seemed to remember a time a certain clumsy mortal almost fractured her kneecap walking across the cafeteria."

"Or the time she dislocated a shoulder reaching for the copy of Hamlet Alice put on her top shelf." Jasper piped in, much to Bella's obvious chagrin.

"Oh do share these delightful stories with my new friend." Bella replied tartly. "Really go on."

She sent a smile in Cecily's direction, and Edward knew then that eventually Bella and Cecily would grow to become good friends, sisters. He reached for her hand and squeezed it gently, old habits making him unnecessarily gentle.

Jasper coughed quietly but meaningfully.

"Perhaps we should all retire for a while to our respective corners."

Alice made a slight noise of disagreement but Edward suspected Jasper had pinched her, because she was suddenly nodding complacently.

"That's a good idea. Bella, we'll catch up in a few hours after you're settled in."

"Oh yes." Esme exclaimed. "Now Bella darling, would you prefer your own room or would you rather just stay with Edward."

Edward wished that Bella was still able to colour her trademark puce, it would have been very enjoyable to see her squirm. Instead Bella just bit her lip slightly and swallowed a giggle.

"I think I'll stay with Edward. I wouldn't want to inconvenience you any further."

"Oh it would hardly be an inconvenience." Esme said breezily over Alice's snort of amusement. "Of course if you prefer we could just modernise Edward's room, give it a more feminine touch."

He was positive she felt his start of terror, because he felt her purr slightly with repressed laughter.

"Please not on my account." Bella told her mother graciously. "Edward has wonderful taste, I'm sure I'll be very comfortable."

Edward grinned at the expression of severe disappointment his mother wore as he squeezed Bella hand again and began to drag her out the door.

"I'll show Bella her lodgings and get her comfortable."

"_I'm sure you will."_ Emmett's thoughts followed him smugly, and Edward heard Rosalie guffaw from inside the room.

Edward lead Bella quietly up the stairs, watching her carefully as she studied every decoration and artefact, he stopped when he came to the dark wooden door that lead to his room.

"We can change any thing you like." He promised, Bella's head was already shaking before the sentence came to its end. "If it makes you happy I'll even let Esme paint it that particular shade of apricot she was trying to show me last spring."

"Does it still look the same?" She asked softly, cocking her head.

"More or less." He replied impassively. He pushed open the door tentatively and he felt a mutual drag of breath as they stepped into a bedroom that had seen memories for them both good and bad. She exhaled audible as she looked around and smiled, stroking the walls with the tips of her fingers.

"Almost exactly."

"I couldn't bare to change it."

He was behind her quickly, his breathy whisper tickling her ear. "You didn't answer my question."

"Don't change anything on my account." Bella replied absently, her cool little body melting back into him. He chuckled roughly, and she turned in concern. He captured her wrists and forced their golden eyes to meet.

"That is absolutely absurd Bella." He told her. "My life orbits around you. I would change anything you detested in a heart beat."  
"I know." Bella replied simply. She rested her hand on his cheek and too slowly, too cautiously her lips found his.

He allowed her to take control of the kiss, at first tentatively and then with renewed passion. She pulled him to the couch and they fell on it carelessly so that soon his body covered hers, their exchange becoming exponentially more heated.

"Love you." She muttered as her hands found their way into his hair, locking their faces together.

Bella broke the kiss finally and moved away, smiling slighting with some sort of intangible emotion. It was times like this Edward yearned to hear the secrets of Bella's mind.

"I still have to keep reminding myself you're real." She whispered, the humour in her voice overpowering deeper emotions. "I used to think that would stop after I was changed into a vampire. I wonder how many years will have to pass for your love to be real for me."

Edward shook his head slowly.

"Silly Bella." He said with amusement. "How could I ever not need you?"

She sighed amiably and shifted so that she was laying comfortably against him, his chest her pillow. He too groaned, an interesting combination of frustration at her resignation and arousal at the proximity of her body. He was reminded vividly of the possibilities her new… situation opened up for them. Yet he knew he could not consider being with her physically until he was sure she was with him 100 mentally, their relationship could not advance until Bella possessed the same conviction he did.

And possibly, preferably his mothers ring on her finger.

Bella reached for the first on a stack of books he had not bothered to properly pack, and were now conveniently located within her reach. Jane Eyre, Edward saw with amusement, how very fitting.

He let his cool lips on temple stay a constant reminder of his presence beside her and it was in this way they lay, motionless, for four long hours of the bright new day.


	11. Not So Delicate

I am taken

_I am taken_

_I am not my own_

_I am floating_

_Teach me how to fly_

_I am Solomon_

_Waiting to sing his song_

_I am for you, I am for you_

_And I am older_

_But I feel so new_

_I am unfaithful_

_I am true_

_You know I'm so in love with you_

_I am all these things_

_But I'm nothing without you_

Brightwood, Taken

--

With a start Bella withdrew her head from her book and became aware of her surroundings. Underneath her Edward seemed to be gazing into space, preoccupied with daydreams, his lips moving slightly around unspoken words. The combination of their entwined bodies and the thick silence made the atmosphere so relaxed it bordered on sleepy.

"We should get a bed." Bella said randomly and Edward blinked.

"Bella…"

She bit her lip as she anticipated what he was going to say, interrupting in a blur of words that betrayed her embarrassment.

"I didn't mean…" She was so, so glad she was unable to blush. "It would just be easier to do this on a larger surface."

With her finger she gestured vaguely at their lazily entangled positions. Edward grinned crookedly and kissed her quickly on the forehead.

"I quite like being this close to you, although I do see your point."

They lay together in an easy silence for a few more moments before Edward asked:

"Is this something we need to talk about?"

"Undoubtedly." Bella replied absently, preoccupied with studying the joints of his fingers. "Just… not now if that's alright."

"Perfectly alright." He said calmly. "Although I doubt Jasper will wait much longer for his explanations. Perhaps we should go talk to Carlisle now."

Despite her warm welcome Bella couldn't help feel a slight jab of anxiety. She knew that Jonathan was a particular point of contention now for the Cullens, and he himself, like a grumpy child, would not stand to be ignored for much longer.

"Back to the real world." She said with groan, only slightly sardonic. "I was enjoying putting off Jon's mess too."

She pulled his to his feet as she leapt spritely to her own. Their palms never relinquishing contact. Bella assumed it would be along while before she felt comfortable with any distance between them at all. She glanced down at herself disdainfully, her simple, now slightly tattered dress an ugly contrast among it's sinfully beautiful surroundings.

"I really have to go shopping." She muttered to herself.

Edward's hand clapped over her mouth at the same time as a shrill shriek of excitement echoed through the house, accompanied by some vampire groans.

"Opps." Bella said sheepishly through Edward's hand. He removed it and smiled apologetically. "Alice."

Edward chuckled and began to lead her out of the room, walking at a human pace towards Carlisle's office.

"Your mistake and your loss I'm afraid."

"I don't suppose you would come with me."

He scoffed.

"As if Alice would allow that. She's missed you more then you seem to understand."

Bella leaned into him and inhaled the comforting and unique scent of Edward, _her_ Edward.

"I missed her too." Bella said softly.

She parted from him slightly as they passed through the door, their linked hands enough to pacify her. On the other side of the door both Carlisle and Jasper sat, their lips moving in an almost inaudible conversation. Carlisle looked up with a smile as they entered and Jasper turned too, nodding a welcome. Bella watched Jasper carefully, noting the nervous energy that dwelled close to the surface, his butterscotch eyes buzzing erratically around the room. It was peculiar to watch the usually stoic Jasper so uncomfortable in his own skin, and mortifying to know she was, at least partly, the cause of his agitation.

Carlisle waited patiently for Edward and Bella to become comfortable in the room, Bella let herself slip gracefully into one of the offered chairs but Edward, instead of sitting in the chair beside her, choose to hover protectively behind her instead.

"I suppose you know why I have called this little chat, Bella." Carlisle said finally.

Bella nodded slowly, her hair slipping from behind her ears and falling like a veil around her face.

"I can hazard a guess."

"There are a few loose end we have to deal with. Some that you have the answer to, and some things we need to inform you of as well."

Behind her Edward growled softly. Carlisle looked up at his son sharply, a clear warning in his eyes.

"Is this really necessary Carlisle?"

"No." Carlisle said, his voice flat. "But Edward, Bella is part of the family now and this family does not have secrets."

"You don't have to protect me." Bella pipped up quickly, stroking the hand Edward lay on her shoulder. "Please tell me what's going on."

Edward stilled and Bella felt his gaze settle over her head onto Carlisle. Carlisle shifted with a sigh.

"It's probably nothing but Alice has begun to see details of our inevitable confrontation with the Volturi." Carlisle's hand threaded itself through his blonde hair. "She sees the Volturi arriving and leaving with uneven numbers."

Bella shuddered. The dark look in Carlisle's old eyes told her enough to know who he suspected would be taken to Volturra, she knew herself well enough to know it could only be by force.

But no, as Bella felt Edward's reassuring presence beside her she knew there were other ways that the Volturi could persuade her to join them.

"Alice's visions are never definite." Edward argued. "Perhaps another member of the guard joins the group later. We are automatically assuming the worse."

Carlisle nodded pleasantly.

"Yes, of course your right Edward. We are overreacting, everything is probably quite alright."

"Better safe then sorry." Jasper muttered ominously and privately Bella agreed.

"Which I suppose brings us to another rather tender topic of conversation. " Carlisle looked apologetic as he glanced over at Bella, Jasper's body tightened in anticipation. "I don't suppose you've decided what to do about you're um… sire."

Jasper made a slight hiss, behind Bella Edward laughed humourlessly at his thoughts.

"Yes." Bella said calmly. "It's difficult for me, I hope you understand, but ultimately it is… painfully obvious what has to be done."

Jasper sighed with relief, Edward relaxed and even Carlisle seemed pleased. Bella squeezed her thigh slightly, expecting the intense feeling of despair that hit her as she capitulated her friendship, she didn't expect, however, the pang of guilt the accompanied her betrayal. She squeezed her eyes shut momentarily and reminded herself of Jasper's story, the Cullens could never be accused of intolerance but even they could not be expected to facilitate Jon. She exhaled as she felt Edward's cold breathe against her cheek.

"I'm sorry." He whispered only to her, Bella grasped his hand and nodded,

"I wish I could hate Jonathan the way you do Jasper." Bella told him bluntly. "But I can't. You're proving yourself much more reasonable the I."

"Hardly." The blonde vampire snorted. "I'm sorry Bella. I know he's your friend."

Bella stared at the floor.

"I'll talk to him tomorrow, any longer then that and I'm afraid he might come looking for me."

Jasper's mouth widened dangerously, his sharp teeth glinting in the dim light of the study.

"If he does I'll be waiting for him." His smile evaporated when he caught Bella's alarm. "Just kidding."

Edward looked at his brother coolly, his mouth pursing into a straight line.

"Bella." He said, addressing her but not looking away from Jasper. "I apologize for what we're making you do."

"I understand." Bella said flatly, and she did really. She would just miss Jonathan because for better or worse, good or bad, he had been her best friend during those dark days. Not matter how much she loved her new family; a part of her would always belong to Jon alone. He was the carrier of her worst self, of her most hated memories. When she let them go, and she would, he would be the only one who remembered that sad, broken girl.

Jasper held Edward's gaze for a moment and then, as if a conversation had passed between them, Jasper turned to Bella with an apologetic nod of his head.

"I _am_ sorry Bella. You deserve better."

Bella's smile was shaky but not unkind.

"I'm not so sure about that but thank you Jasper."

Jasper grinned before looking back at Carlisle who had watched the exchange wordlessly.

"I'm going to go find Alice." He said. "Perhaps she's seen something else."

It was a thin excuse but a mostly welcomed one. Jasper's exit from the room lowered the tension and Bella felt herself relax once again. In front of her Carlisle was waiting patiently for her to break the silence, politely restraining his obvious curiosity.

"Is there anything else?" She asked innocently, and Edward snickered.

Carlisle grimaced at his son good-naturedly. He then turned to Bella, slightly apologetic but not able to restrain his natural intellectual curiosity.

"I don't suppose you would fill in some of the blanks of the last few years Bella."

Edward grinned crookedly behind her.

"We can tempt you with Emmett and Rosalie's latest batch of wedding photos. They honeymooned in Florence this year."

Bella let her face become almost wistful at the concept. Even in fifty years of vampire-ism she still hadn't left the continental US, and then there was the idea of marriage with Edward…

"It's not very interesting." She warned. "But if you're really very curious."

"I am." Carlisle interjected hurriedly and Edward seemed to agree. He folded his lean body elegantly into the chair beside her and leaned forward, eyes bright.  
"Jonathan took me to Montana after my change, while the blood lust was it's most…" Bella screwed up her nose at the memory. "Intense."

"I was lucky to have a companion who respected my unique lifestyle choice, especially since Jon himself is less then diligent when it comes to his own diet. He made sure I came into contact with no human during those first eighteen months and after he taught me to retrain myself, taking me to back towns to build my resistance."

"I've never drunk from a human you know." She said proudly. Both Carlisle and Edward beamed, their obvious relief turning to elation. "I suppose, deep, deep, down, I always knew that I would find my way back, and I wanted you to be… proud of the way I lived my life."

Edward looked at her, his eyes brimming with some intangible, unnamed but hauntingly familiar emotion.

"I'm very proud of you Bella." He said, his voice thick. "You never ever had, _have_, to worry about that."

She smiled and touched his cheek.

"Thank you Edward."

Carlisle coughed softly and brought them back to the real world, Bella bit her lip sheepishly and continued.

"After four or five years I left Jonathan and lived alone. I cannot explain why exactly I decided to leave, although I suppose recent discoveries make it more understandable. I was hardly cut off from him though, we lived in constant contact, but I stayed alone mostly, still struggling with my bloodlust. I became friendly with a handful of the other covens around America. Of course any real connections were impossible with out forfeiting my abstinence, but many of the vampires I met were interesting beings so I indulged their one inherent sin."

Bella glanced at Edward again regretfully, but he was looking away from her his gaze intent on his feet as his beautiful face creased thoughtfully. Bella frowned and turned back to Carlisle.

"I suppose my return to Forks was based on nostalgia more then anything. On a whim I went and I saw Jacob Black before he died…"

Bella's eyes flit to Carlisle's, whose own gaze was serious.

"Were you are aware that Jacob was a…"

"Yes." Bella said quietly. "I didn't know that he stopped phasing though."

"You knew then." Carlisle said in surprise. "He must have trusted you extraordinarily."  
"He was my… best friend." Bella replied sadly. "My brother. He was the one who stitched me back together after you all left Forks, the sun who lit up my dark sky."

Both Carlisle and Edward winced visibly at her words. Only Carlisle was able to compose himself well enough to reply.

"Do you know?" Carlisle asked carefully. "That the Werewolf population is still active in LaPush."

Bella's breathing hitched and her white body froze to an impossible stillness.

"No." She said darkly. "I did not."

"Damn it!" She yelled, jumping to her feet. "Damn it to hell! Those poor boys, this is my fault…"

"How!" Edward snapped, pulling her down onto his lap. "-Could the emerging werewolf population possibly be considered your fault?"

Bella frowned at him and hopped back off his lap, too agitated to sit still. She chose instead to pace incessantly.

"I forgot you don't know." Bella muttered. "It's us you see. The trigger is us vampires."

She glanced at Carlisle sharply.

"Do you know how big the pack is?"

"Five dogs." Carlisle said in his lyrical voice, only the slightest hint of derision evident. "At last count in any case. Given this revelation it may be bigger."

Bella began to count names on her fingers, mumbling conclusions half to the room and half to herself.

"Embry. Leah. Paul. Seth… Sam would have stopped phasing to live his life out with Emily… Quil had Claire and Jared imprinted too…" She stopped and addressed Carlisle fully. "At the very least the La Push pack has to have gained at least one new member, possibly more."

"Imprint?" Edward asked quietly and Bella backtracked.

"I'm sorry, I know I'm overstepping. Sometimes I forget-"

She swallowed.

"Jacob told me that imprinting was like love at first sight, but a hundred thousand times stronger. The pack find their mates that way, even though it was meant to be really rare, it's more then just true love or soul mates… It's beyond fate. No imprinting member of the pack would let their mate die old alone."

Carlisle cocked his head thoughtfully; absently he pulled out a page of lined paper and a long silver pen and began to scribble notes in immaculate writing.

"Fascinating."

Bella glanced at Edward in mild exasperation but again Edward seemed to have found something fascinating about her shoes. She suddenly had an overwhelming compulsion to change the subject.

"After Jacob died." Bella continued heavily. "I couldn't bare to leave Forks. I got very little resolution from his death; he was so young, only just past sixty. The strain of not allowing himself to phase wore him out prematurely. So in the wake of his memory, and your memory too, I stayed in Forks. At first it felt comfortable, as if I was wrapping myself up in an old and familiar security blanket… Then it was just routine, a place as good as any to be alone."

The room hung with a painful silence. Edward did not look up but his beautiful face had twisted, inadvertently, into a grimace.

"How long have you been in Forks?" Carlisle asked quietly.

"Seven years."

"And you didn't consider finding us at all during that time?"

Edward looked up at her curiously through his long eyelashes and Bella wished that he would just look her in the eye or better, take her in his arms. He had placed a new kind of immeasurable distance between them and this time Bella was mystified to what she had done wrong. Was he regretting her already, knowing she was the ally of evil warlords and werewolves? Bella wondered if it had been foolish to allow her self to become complacent with his offer to rejoin his family. She tore her eyes away from their study of Edward and squashed the dull throb of heartache back into her gut where it was manageable.

"A thousand times a day." She replied flatly, and despite both Carlisle's and Edward's powerfully curious expressions Bella refused to elaborate.

"I suppose the rest of the story we know." Carlisle sighed finally. "Except… I don't suppose you would relay the specifics of your special gift. I'm sure you're perceptive enough to notice I'm barely containing my intrigue."

The shift of the conversation made Bella's tone considerably warmer, and her shoulder slumped slightly as she relaxed.

"It's extraordinarily passive." She confessed. "And I'm not completely sure how it works in theory. As far as I can tell I can hide everything but my actual being. Some things, like my mind and soul are automatic and others… Other things like my scent are harder."

"Amazing." Carlisle muttered, jotting down another batch of notes in his spidery handwriting. "An astonishing manifestation of your more… unique human tendencies. Disguising your scent, I imagine, must be particularly useful. I would love to…"

"Carlisle." Edward interrupted rather sharply. "Perhaps we could cease with the questions for the time being. You have an eternity to pick Bella brains and I would quite like her back myself."

"Oh." Carlisle said ruefully. "Of course Edward. Bella I apologize."

Bella frowned at Edward's sudden rudeness.

"Don't be silly Carlisle. I don't mind."

"Still…" Edward persisted. "Another time."

Carlisle nodded pleasantly and with his usual old time grace escorted them out of his study. To Bella's pleasure and relief Edward's arm rewound itself lazily around her waist as they began to stroll back to his room.

Perched easily on the banister of the staircase, chatting with Rosalie and Emmett, Alice waved as she saw Bella and Edward approach. Edward widened his steps in his haste to reach Alice, causing Bella to stumble quickly forward in a hardly becoming way. Edward's hold around her tightened and he gazed down apologetically before turning back towards Alice with a grim expression.

"I see you've had another vision."

"Yes." The dark haired vampire chirped. "I've seen where we are to meet the Volturi."

"Is there no where else?"

"I wish you wouldn't shoot the messenger Edward Cullen." Alice said crossly. Bella exchanged her mystified expression with Emmett and Rosalie's long suffering ones. "It's not becoming of you and not at all agreeable for me. I can't help what I see."

"Where?" Bella asked Edward softly, her hand stroking his arm reassuringly. He half turned her, bracing her shoulders with his large hands and kissing her lightly. Bella leant against him, inhaling his bewitching scent; his dry lips against hers seemingly papery soft, almost feathery. A most tentative of kisses.

"I'm sorry Bella, Alice saw our meadow."

Bella stiffened and glanced at Alice appealingly as if begging her to contradict him. The idea of their sacred place becoming the scene of bloodshed and war between clans offended her too deeply to stay indifferent. Alice merely shrugged sadly.

"It'll be fine." He promised her. "I don't believe that any of us are going to come to any harm from the Volturi."

Bella raised an eyebrow tartly.

"Are you always going to insist on protecting me from every threat of danger that crosses my path. That sounds like a full time job."

Edward smirked.

"I'm up for it."

"I'm not so delicate anymore Edward." Bella told him lightly, her fingertips pressing into his cheek until she could see their white imprints. "See. Strong."

Edward grinned and kissed her quickly on the cheek.

"My most valiant prerogative will be to protect you because I am your Edward and you are my Bella and I would not have it any other way."

"Oh." Bella said cheekily. "So I suppose I'm allowed to protect you too."

Edward's smile tightened slightly but his eyes continued to glitter.

"As you wish."

Rosalie coughed loudly and scowled, as Bella and Edward broke apart.

"Not that I'm not super ecstatic that you both have dragged yourselves from the pits of irritating and exasperating despair but could you put a rein on your…"

Rosalie made a face and gestured between them. Alice and Emmett shared wicked grins.

"And on that note." Edward said. "I will go upstairs. Bella are you coming?"

"No way!" Alice retorted before Bella could agree. "She's coming shopping with me!"

Bella groaned and glanced slyly at the now canoodling couple of Rosalie and Emmett, who had obviously adopted a 'can't-beat'em-join'em' philosophy. Rosalie looked smugly out from Emmett's tight embrace.

"Don't look at me for sympathy. You're the one who brought it up. Plus…" Rosalie sniffed. "You do need new clothes."  
Alice's arm slipped through hers like a padlock and her eyes widened in a maniacal way that until now Bella had only associated with newborn blood lust.

"We have so much work to do."

Bella could only groan again as Alice raced them both down the corridor and toward the obnoxious yellow Porsche in the driveway.


	12. Bonds

AN: Ok I confess, this is my personal favourite chapter

**AN: Ok I confess, this is my personal favourite chapter. Enjoy :)**

_and to this day when everything breaks_

_you are the anchor that holds me_

My Favourite Book - Stars

Five hours, thirty eight shops, thirty two bags, twelve pairs of shoes, twenty four blouses, nine pairs of jeans, five skirts, eight dresses and more money then Bella felt comfortable with later and Bella was just glad she had, indestructible or not, survived. Alice dumped the bags unceremoniously into her arms with instructions to take them up to her room and whizzed past her into the house. Bella paced herself considerably slower, still somewhat stunned by the shopping experience, and grimaced at Esme and Carlisle's smug smiles as she passed them.

"Would you like some help dear?" Esme asked kindly after she was finished with her chortling.

"No this is my fault." Bella admitted behind the heaped pile of clothes. "I just have to remember never to use the S-word around Alice ever, ever again."

"We've all been through it." Carlisle chuckled. "Try to think of Alice's manic shopping spree as a rite of passage. You're undeniably a Cullen now."

Bella grinned weakly.

Even with vampire grace and coordination she felt she was in serious danger of dropping her entire load of shopping, so she was relieved when she finally reached her room and was able to dump them in a corner. With a groan she loped over to Edward and fell onto the bed beside him. The bronze haired Adonis who she had somehow been able to capture smirked at her.

"What's that look f-OH!" Bella sat up with a start and realised that she was lying on a bed. A bed that had definitely not been there five excruciatingly long hours ago.

"My god Edward, where did this come from?"

Edward grinned smugly.

"It's one of the antiques Esme keeps in storage." He told her. "It's only a temporary solution, we can get a new one when we leave Forks."

Bella studied the old sturdy four-poster king sized bed meticulously, her lips parting slightly in awe. It was a gigantic thing, but delicate in its design, almost feminine. The bed itself was fashioned from dark, almost black, hardwood with large oriental flowers carved into the heavy bedposts. The bedposts loomed high over both of their heads, dangerously close to the ceilings, and were decorated with what looked like heavy, crimson silk. Bella traced the engraving lightly with the tips of her fingers, admiring the antiquity of the wood, already she felt herself becoming sentimental.

"Oh." She said softly. "I don't suppose… Could we keep this one?"

Edward smiled and pulled her into a one armed hug, their combined weight with the combination of their precarious position sent them falling against one another into the silken Egyptian sheets.

"I like it too." He muttered into her ear, his breathe tickling her pleasantly.

His lips found hers automatically, responding to the waves of need Bella assumed she was giving out. His arm fell down until it rested on her hips and tightened so that a marble vice grip pressed her hard against his chest. Her own hands could not seem to find their own port of stability, they ran themselves through his thick locks, against his cool cheeks and down his back, arms wrapping around his perfect neck. He groaned slightly as she wriggled beneath him but did not relinquish his perusal of her lips. It was she who cried out when his long, muscular legs entwined themselves with hers, locking their bodies together.

"Yes." Edward murmured into the curve of her neck, sounding very pleased with himself. "I do like this bed very much."

Bella took the opportunity of Edward's lips doing something other then kissing hers to distance herself slightly from her mate, least their impassioned make out session on their new bed become an impassioned but very premature 'something-else-entirely' on their new bed. Edward seemed disappointed by the sudden distance, but he didn't misunderstand it. Instead Bella contented herself with the simple looping of their hands together and being able to stare into his apparently bottomless irises for the rest of forever.

"So." He asked companionably. "Did you enjoy shopping with Alice?"

Bella scowled half-heartedly. Even if shopping had been a trauma, spending time with the ever loving and accepting Alice definitely had not been. It had been just like old times. Almost.

"She spent too much money on me." Bella muttered darkly.

Edward didn't bother showing any signs of sympathy, on the contrary his beautiful face lit up with a dazzling smile.

"I don't think so."

"She did! The labels in my wardrobe are now enough to make even the most dedicated fashion-ista swoon. "

"It's your money too now." Edward pointed out, pointedly ignoring her face of disgust. "Really Bella, you're going to have to get over this silly fixation you have with money."

"I just…" She raked her fingernails through the hair at his temples, enjoying the purr of contentment that vibrated his chest. "I already have you. Anything else just throws off the balance more."

Edward rolled his eyes.

"You're insane."

"I know, and I have nothing to contribute either. You guys… you shouldn't have to…"  
She bit her lip and averted her eyes, the weave on the bed sheet suddenly fascinating.

"Is that what you really think?" Edward asked softly. His voice strangled. "Bella you are undoubtedly the most worthy of us all."

Bella smiled wirily.

"I think that the others might disagree." She brushed her lips sweetly against his. "But then again they don't get to do this."  
"Don't placate me." Edward said irritably. "I'm too annoyed at you. Bella Swan _all I could think about_ back in that room, while Carlisle made you tell your story, was how much better, how much stronger, how much more pure you are then I. How thoroughly I do not deserve you. How can you not see even a little of that in you? Bella you are the best person I know…"

"Stop it." Bella said sharply and Edward looked up at her in surprise. "I know where this is going. Don't you dare think you're being noble Edward Cullen if you decide to leave me again."

Bella's breathing stopped as the extraordinary man in front of her looked down at her with the most unusual expression she had ever seen. Slowly, deliberately Edward leaned over so that his long, lean body covered hers and his cold, icy lips brushed the lobe of her ear.

"No." He breathed. "I wouldn't do that."

He pulled away from her, only enough so that she was able to take him in entirely and not just his cavernous eyes and in a flawless, definite motion pulled from his pocket a very obvious and very suspicious looking ring box.

"Edward." Bella began, swearing that she was going several shades whiter then she had been a moment before. "Is that…?"

"It's not a persuasive tool to end this argument." Edward said, his entire face alive with a billion different types of joy and earnest. "It's not because I feel guilty or because I know I have wronged you. It's not because this secures you to my side for the rest of eternity, although that is a pretty convincing argument." He rested his forehead against hers and Bella couldn't conceive anything other then this moment and his words.

"I was planning to do this some other way… I hadn't decided yet but it was going to be perfect."

"This… is perfect." Bella interrupted, and it was in a crazy, ironic way. This passionate, impromptu proposal convinced her in a way that even the best-planned surprise would not have.

"Yes." Edward replied, his eyes crinkling. "I agree. This is right because Bella, what I wanted most was to tell you is that all of those things matter, of course they do, but not as much as the fact that this ring, in the infinity of eternal life, has never ever belonged to any one else, or ever would. You, Bella Swan, belong to me and I won't let my self-doubt destroy us again."

He pushed himself gracefully to the floor and Bella sat up automatically, her eyes never leaving his. He crouched and in a perfectly, perfect clichéd moment, the pseudo Prince Charming, Edward opened the ring box and extended the diamond ring.

"Bella. Will you marry me?"

Somewhere in the house there was a shriek of excitement, but Bella barely registered it. Silently she accepted the ring, the gold band slipping with out resistance onto her finger. Bella pulled Edward to his feet and for a second the moment hung in the air, both of them perfectly stationary. Then the dam burst and she threw herself into his waiting arms, hugging him with fierce abandon.

"Yes! Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!"

His lips captured hers a nanosecond before she could capture his and Bella knew that if she lived another millennia or two she would never forget one moment of this kiss, this kiss of completion and solidarity. Finally the two halves of their fractured souls were soldered together, and Bella would make sure they were never broken again. She wished she could have cried, cried tears of unadulterated elation, but their absence only reminded her of what their sacrifice was giving her back. Her Edward, her everything, her always.

He picked her up effortlessly and twirled her, their laughter mingling in the air and turning into something better, something intangible but equally undeniable.

"Mrs Bella Cullen." Edward said, entwining their fingers. "I like the sound of that."

"Me too."

Bella grinned between kisses. For the first time in fifty-seven years Bella felt heat plough through the icy barriers surrounding her body and she felt warm. Bella Cullen, she repeated over again in her head, Bella Cullen.

"And…" He commented casually. "The money issue isn't a problem anymore."

Bella snorted and patted him good-naturedly on the shoulder.

"Don't ruin the moment Dear."

Giddy, she let herself fall back onto their bed; her arms bring her new fiancée with her. She shivered pleasantly as Edward leaned against her, studying her with wide topaz eyes.

"I love you." He told her simply, but to Bella's ears it sounded like a promise.

The best part was realising for the first time since Edward had promised a clean break, Bella believed him.

--

"Argh!"

Bella winced as one hundred and ten pounds of Alice barrelled into her stomach. Her spiky haired sister made a noise of excitement so shrill, even Jasper cowered.

"I'm so excited Bella! I hate that I didn't see this first, seriously your gift sucks."

"Umm…"  
"I forgive you." Alice shrieked. "Ohmygod! When's the wedding? Can I see the ring? Can I be the maid of honour? I need a new dress, and new shoes, and new jewellery! Oh! The Caribbean! That's where you should go for your honeymoon."

Bella quirked her eyebrow slightly.

"The Caribbean?"

"Yes!" Alice squealed, purposefully ignoring her sardonic expression. "There's actually a special resort down there designed just for us. Total privacy. You would love it there Bella."

"I-I…" Bella stuttered, glancing at Edward pleadingly. "That decisions a bit premature Alice."

Alice waved her arm blithely.

"Oh, totally. We should be focusing on the wedding now. I'm thinking a summer wedding in hues of green and navy. Rosalie is unbearably generic when it comes to her weddings, all pinks and purples."

Alice guided Bella roughly by the arm into the Cullen living room. Rosalie, her blonde hair hastily brushed over shoulder, sat leisurely on the couch next to Emmett. A sour expression twisted her gorgeous features, and she poked her tongue out irritably as Alice entered the room.

"Don't you give her too much control Bella." She warned. "Alice is a wedding Nazi. She lives for this stuff."

Alice made a noise of disbelief at the back of her throat and gazed appealing at Bella, butterscotch eyes wide.

"Don't listen to her Bella, I'm a fantastic wedding planner. Rosalie is just unreceptive…"

Rosalie scowled and a few metres away perched on the hood of Edward's piano, Cecily's tinkling laugh filled the room.

"You blackmailed Rosalie's DJ and changed the entire wedding play list, including the first dance, because you claimed Emmett's music gave off the wrong vibe."

"And I was right." Alice said unapologetically. "Emmett has awful taste in music."

Bella bit her lip and clenched her hands together, trying to quell the irrational bout of fear that Alice was arousing. She sighed silently in relief when she felt Edward's smooth hands slide reassuringly along her shoulders.

"Do we really even have to have a wedding?" Bella asked tentatively. The effect was immediate; Alice gasped dramatically and slapped a hand over her mouth, Rosalie looked horrified, Cecily smirked and even Edward stiffened slightly. "I mean really, I don't need a big ceremony to know that I love Edward and want him for the rest of eternity. It just seems unnecessary."

"No!" Alice screeched, scandalized. "Bella Swan you're celebrating a union with your one and only soul mate. A wedding is not… is not…"

She hissed the last word hatefully. "Unnecessary."

Edward braced her tenderly, his arms dropping to coil around her waist.

"Bella, you can have any kind of wedding you want. I'll fly us straight to Vegas if it makes you happy."

"Argh!" Alice threw her arms in the air and glared at her siblings. "Edward Cullen you suck. Don't you dare encourage her!"

Bella pouted dreadfully.

"Lilies." Alice said hopefully, a futile attempt to waylay her.

"Blood fountains. Personal vows. Fifteen inch centrepieces. Handcrafted lace on a Vera Wang original."

Bella gargled helplessly and buried her face in Edward's side.

"I'll think about it." She muttered and Alice whooped. "That's not a yes Alice."  
"Oh." Alice grinned wickedly. "It will be. This isn't a negotiation, Mrs Cullen."

Despite her self Bella smiled when Edward leaned down and whispered into her ear.

"I'm not sure I'll ever get used to how much I like it when somebody says that."

Bella giggled softly.

"Me either."

From behind Esme and Carlisle glided into the room with their usual effortless grace. The former beamed as she saw Bella and Edward, rushing up to embrace both of them.

"Oh congratulations!"

"Don't be too hasty Esme." Alice warned good-naturedly. "Apparently Bella isn't having a wedding."  
Esme gaped.

"Oh no dear! You have to have a wedding."

"That was below the belt." Edward told his sister darkly and Bella simply glared.

Alice smiled back innocently and folded her hands in her lap.

"I told you this wasn't a negotiation."  
Carlisle moved forward and congratulated his son warmly, he turned then to Bella with a grin on his handsome face.

"May I see the ring?"

Bella nodded shyly and held up her hand for examination. The old fashioned but undeniably spectacular ring glittered in the natural light.

"A beautiful ring for a beautiful soul." Carlisle murmured. "Your mother's I believe Edward?"

Edward smiled a smile tinged with both pride and longing.

"Yes. Destined for the finger of the lovely creature who stands before me."

"Congratulations Isabella." Carlisle told Bella, hugging her briefly. "I suppose it would be belated to welcome you to the family, so I give you only my best wishes and very best blessings."

Bella smiled and kissed both Esme and Carlisle affectionately on the cheeks.

"Thank you. There's nothing I'd rather have."


	13. My Religion, My Sacrilege

I am filled with you

_I am filled with you._

_Skin, blood, bone, brain, and soul._

_There's no room for lack of trust, or trust._

_Nothing in this existence but that existence._

The Essential Rumi, Jalal al-Din Muhammad Rumi

A couple of easy, carefree hours later it was Alice who broke through the post-proposal bliss.

In Alice's defence it really wasn't her fault, but nether the less Edward hardly appreciated her shouting out in alarm right in the middle of The Princess Bride, just because she had had a vision.

He appreciated his sister even less when she told the room, or more specifically the vampire tucked under his arm, what she had seen.

"You should probably leave now." Alice suggested calmly as Bella sat up in distress. "His natural circumspection is loosing the battle against his curiosity. If he does come back here I foresee him messing up Esme's feature wall, and she just got it right."

"How does Jon ruin Esme's feature wall?" Emmett asked lazily.

Alice grinned wickedly in the direction of her husband.

"Jasper throws him into it."

Jasper's eyes widened innocently as Bella winced.

"I really shouldn't put it off any longer anyway. I'm just…" She shuddered delicately. "Not looking forward to it."

"Would you like me to come with you?" Edward whispered into her ear, enjoying the sensation of their skin touching. It was still a novelty for him to touch her as completely as he wanted too and he fully intended on enjoying the privilege.

Bella smiled up at him shyly.

"Could you?"

His fingers slipped over hers, stroking the joint of her ring finger which now sported his mothers engagement ring.

"It would be my pleasure."

"Great!" Bella was on her feet in a flash, grinning foolishly. "I'm just going to change."

She was whizzing up the stairs before Edward could open his mouth. Sure that she was gone, her turned to Alice with a glare.

"You couldn't have waited a couple of hours." He hissed. "Is it possible for this family to go twelve hours with out some sort of drama."

"Leave Alice alone." Bella scolded as she bounded down the stairs back into the room fully dressed. "It's not her fault I'm a spaz."

"Yeah." Alice agreed amenably.

Edward rolled his eyes at his sister and snatched Bella's hand. Pulling her against him in a way that was almost greedy, Edward grinned when he felt her squeeze his grip in return.

"It's not your fault." He told her loyally, kissing the very tip of her nose.

"I know." She replied, redirecting the kiss to her perfect lips. "But I do owe Jon an explanation, and he owes me the opportunity to kick his ass."  
"Are you really going to kick his ass?" Emmett asked unhelpfully. "Edward do you have a camera phone?"

"There will probably be no ass kicking of any kind." Bella informed her brother. "I assume I'll have a nice, rational discussion with my sire and we will part on amiable terms."

"And if you're wrong?" Jasper growled. "I hate to break it to you Bella but Jonathan is more then competent enough to kick _your_ ass."

"I know that." Bella sniffed coolly. "Which is why my lovely fiancé is coming with me."

The tension between his fiancée and his brother was palpable as Edward led Bella out of the house. For a few minutes they walked in silence, their joined hands swinging between them. Bella seemed deep in her thoughts, gnawing conspicuously on her bottom lip, a nervous habit Edward noticed, which had developed to facilitate her absent blush. It wasn't hard to know exactly what she was considering; he didn't need his telepathy to know that.

Jonathan Stone.

He forced down the growl of contempt that launched itself automatically at the mere thought of that vile creature. He wanted to explain to Bella the exact insight he had found in Jonathan's mind, the sheer depth of his evil, if only to quell her irrationally guilty conscience. To some degree it baffled Edward why exactly a pure, insightful creature like Bella would emphasize with a monster like Jonathan. Bella, the eternal optimist when it came to the damned, seem to believe that Jonathan could be redeemed. She looked into eyes that mocked their hard won lifestyle and saw good and loyalty and affection.

The only concession he had was the fact that when she was concerned, she was perfectly right.

In Jon's mind Edward had slaughtered cities of people, he had tasted virgin blood slip down his throat like water, his hands had broken the neck of Alice, ripped out the throat of Rosalie, slipped nails into Carlisle's hands, he had set fire to the forests of Forks and watched them burn, he had maimed, he had destroyed. Edward had heard Jonathan plan a thousand plans to tear Bella away from them and none of them ended particularly well for him, pain was a reoccurring theme.

Except that every time Jonathan became in anyway set on an idea, an image of Bella face, heart broken in disappointment, flashed through their merged minds and the instinct was squashed.

He wanted to explain to Bella all of this, but he couldn't… He would preserve any naivety she had left with his final and dying breath.

"Jasper doesn't mean to be rude." Edward said softly, more to break the heavy silence then anything else. Bella frowned as she turned to him, but she stayed tacit. "He still thinks like a soldier, and to him Jonathan is the opposing command."

There was another long drawn out pause.

"You don't disagree." Bella said finally, not voicing a question.

"Not particularly." Edward's voice was low and forcibly impassive. "I have much too clear an insight into his mind to think otherwise."

Bella stopped suddenly and whirled around on her feet to face him. Her dark hair caught in the wind and began to dance in wild loops and curls around her head.

"I _know_ he's a monster, ok?" Bella said fiercely, holding his hands against her chest. "I don't need to read minds to know he's done awful, horrible things that I doubt I can even comprehend. I know that. But he loves me Edward, he loved me when I thought I wasn't worth being loved by anyone and even if I can't thank him, or support him with clear conscience, I can at least say goodbye."

They stared at each other, both pleading with the other to understand, and then in a sudden, violent movement Edward pulled Bella into his arms and hugged her, burying his face into her soft hair and inhaling.

"You deserve better then him. Better then I."

"There is no one better then you Edward." Bella murmured into his chest, her voice soothing. "No one more noble or more brilliant, and even if there was it wouldn't matter because as it is, you belong to me and I too you. Always."

He pulled away from her reluctantly; kissing the dark circles that stained her under eyes with tenderness. Slowly they began to continue towards the house, their arms looped together, their voices low as they talked about trivial things.

"…I think the final tally was one hundred and one times this one group of little girls begged Jasper to date them. He was mortified and Alice of course was livid."

Bella chuckled, her face completed transformed with mirth. Trying desperately to be discreet Edward searched for the physical signs of the old Bella, he had no real preference for either physical manifestation of her lovely soul, but it pleased him to see obvious traces of her very human beauty that shone even through the inexplicable vampire prettiness.

"Did they really call themselves the 'We Heart JC' club Edward Cullen, or are you making this up."

"No I swear." He smiled a crooked smile. "Jasper didn't believe me either until they started writing it on their notebooks."

"You shouldn't call them little girls." Bella snorted. "They were seventeen after all."

"That's what they were- silly, giddy little girls, seventeen is hardly change for a vampire."

Bella sniffed.

"I was seventeen when I fell in love with you. Did you see me as a silly, giddy school girl then?"

"Of course not." He reassured her, kissing her forehead lightly. "You were such an mysterious thing, I couldn't get my head around you, still can't actually. It wasn't just the fact I couldn't read your mind, your every reaction was different from what I expected, every word that came out of your mouth seemed impossible. The way you studied people was unique, the way you waited for people to speak and listen to them as if sizing them up. After an eternity of fully unoriginal humans I found you unbelievably refreshing. No Bella, the least of the things you were to me was a giggly little girl."

"Oh." Bella grinned. "Good then."

They continued on in silence, silly smiles decorating both of their faces. For Edward the picture they made together was particularly fantastic. Perhaps it was the contrast their pale, glittering bodies made among the deep green on the trees, or how tightly she clung to her hand, or the memory of her beautiful, lyrical laughter, or maybe it was just her smile, so full that it made him feel like he was succeeding in his quest to protect her.

Of his entire musical repertoire, for some reason it was a Dire Straits song that sounded in his head as they walked.

"_A love struck Romeo."_ He sung under his breath; her head turned slightly and her lovely smile widened. _"…sings the streets a serenade.__Laying everybody low with a love song that he made."_

Bella laughed and twirled dramatically before retreating in to his side, her head resting against his arm.

"_Says something like "you and me babe, how about it?"_

Her voice was satisfied as she sung the last line of the chorus, her happiness radiating even through her horrendous faux-English accent.

They stood still as they reached Charlie's house, impractically conspicuous among the suburban street. Bella looked up at the house with a sigh.

"I'm going to miss it."

"You don't have to leave right away." He told her softly. "We'll be probably be in Forks for a while longer. This could be our retreat from frantic family life."

Her smile was slightly sad now.

"I know, but I still feel like I'm saying goodbye. Not just to Jonathan I suppose, but a large part of my life is over now."

"Is that bad?" He asked tentatively.

"No!" She told him passionately, dragging herself upwards to engage his lips. "I have you and that's all I've ever wanted from the world. Before I was lonely… and dead, and tired and a thing. Now…You've given me a family Edward, you've given me you, the best possible thing."

He gripped her hand and squeezed it, needing the substance of her flesh against his to remind him that she was real. Even now it seemed a part of him expected her to disappear, just another heady, convincing hallucination.

"Still…" She continued wryly. "A girl needs closure."

His mouth grinned as he kissed her beatifically. She was real under his palms, her cold skin smooth but responsive to his touch. Even with the knowledge that in a second or so she would be associating with a man so despicable that… Regardless happiness would not recline and that was a concept Edward would just have to get used to.

--

The heat of the house hit her like a sledgehammer as Bella entered her home, leaving Edward behind her in the cool air. Expecting to hear Jon in her room, she was surprised to follow his scent into the living room. His back turned to her, a wall of obvious resentment, he hummed eerily an oddly familiar tune.

"Jon?" She asked, her voice jerking only slightly out of its practiced politeness.

"I won't insult either of our intelligences by asking where you've been all this time." Jonathan replied rather sulkily. "Although I suppose I can spare you a goodbye."

Bella flinched visibly, his casual dismissal of their friendship chaffing open wounds.

"I…" She stuttered for a minute before her face hardened, hurt turning to anger. "I won't then. If you don't want it then I'm hardly going to force my sentiments on you."

"You are leaving then."

"Imminently."

Jon turned and glared at her, his eyes a horrible crimson. Bella stepped back as she saw them, her expression clouding both with fear and immense disappointment.

"Oh Jon…" She breathed.

For a moment Jon looked abashed, his lips pursing slightly in reaction to the horror sketched over her face. Then his expression cleared and his glare intensified.

"Since you weren't here to come hunting with me, I thought I'd go to Seattle and eat out." He said flatly, his voice haunting rather then beautiful like Bella associated with the Cullens. "I believe her name was Emily. She had a particularly interesting way of screaming as she died."

"Stop it." Bella hissed, turning away from him. She felt a whoosh of warm air as Jon appeared at her shoulder, wrenching her around to face him, his face a unique brand of livid. She faced him unafraid, her face burning with the heat of rage, her body shaking uncontrollably. "Don't say that."

"I suppose I'll be unusually hungry in the near future." He sneered. "Nice ring by the way Swan, or should I perhaps say Mrs Cullen."

It was a travesty to hear the name that minutes before had given her such pure joy, suddenly used as an insult. Bella forced her shaking body to still, her nails digging painfully into the palms of her hands.

"Why are you acting like an infant who has had his favourite toy taken away?" She asked coolly, ridding her tone of all inflection.

Jonathan grinned at her cruelly, stuffing his perfectly manicured vampire hands into his jacket pockets.

"Don't you see beautiful Belladonna, you are my favourite toy. I would hate to see you end up on the scrap heap."

"I'm not a toy." She snapped. "Is that a threat, Jonathan Stone?"

"More of a warning." He told her acidly. "And not in aid of me."

Her entire body stiffened and Jonathan smiled smugly, knowing he had touched on the sorest point of contention. Bella's eyes left his and she let them flicker aimlessly across the room, unwilling to let him see the undeniable and unsated hurt in them.

It was then she saw the cluster of belongings that sat forgotten on the armchair.

"Wh-" She stepped forward. Unsure if her eyes were to be believed. The collection of objects were fairly trivial, a few photos, a CD; the problem was that this specific collection of trivial possession were dangerously and impossibly familiar. Jonathan darted quickly between her and the pile, his face triumphant.

"I found them hidden under the floor boards of your room. Smelt them out actually. I'm sure you would have found them earlier if you hadn't submerged yourself so completely in remembered scents, realised that one of them wasn't a memory at all."

Bella pushed past him and fell to her knees in front of the chair, pulling the photos out to examine. Sure enough Edward's unattainable beauty looked back at her, his body entwined around her embarrassingly human self.

"He didn't even bother keeping them. He hid them away like trash." Jon hissed into her ear. "Like you, _Bella_, were trash."

She repeated Edward's pretty words in her head, yet her fragile conviction wavered, her inhabitations took back the back seat of her subconscious. A dry, brittle sob rocked her body, and Jon's heavy limbs fell into place around her shoulders. She jumped to her feet, putting distance between her and the devil's advocate.

"That's not true." She said. "He loves me Jon. He asked me to marry him. This proves nothing; in fact it's further proof of his love for me. Even when he promised me a clean break he couldn't bare…"

"You would never have found them, would you?"

"Does it matter?" She asked, frustration colouring her voice. "I love him Jon. I need him, I can't live with out him and I can't _learn_ to live with out him."

Jonathan looked back at her blankly, expression icy. Bella glared at him for a moment, waiting for him to interrupt, before continuing.

"There is no alternative for me, only misery. I can survive with knowing that he loves me less then I him, but I cannot make a choice to leave him, I just don't have that power. There is no future with out Edward, please understand that Jon, there is no past, no present or life, no existence."

"Life and love continue."

"Not for me. I won't live with out him again. I _can't_."

She heard it in her tone as he did, she was pleading with him. It revolted her rational side, pleading with ruby eyes to forgive her and yet she could not stop herself, knowing the serenity that would come with Jon's acceptance. He grimaced irritably, his eyes flashing in an internal conflict, his lips pursed in a flat line.

"Jon." She said, her final effort. "Please. This is where I belong."

He exhaled in defeat, she in relief. His large body slumped as he fell back into the quilted armchair, papers and photos fluttering around him like paper birds.

"Well…" He said finally, his voice calm. "I suppose I had to try."

"You had to know…" She wished she could be more sympathetic, although his character didn't warrant it.

"I did…" He was resigned. "From the first moment I met you I knew I would have to give you back eventually. Perhaps if I knew just how completely I would grow to love you I would have chosen not to turn you. Hindsight is twenty/twenty, I suppose."

Bella was not sure how to react to this declaration. So she chose, since this was goodbye, to tell the truth. She hugged him, tears that didn't exist drying on his lapels.

"I love you too Jon." She muttered his arms warm against hers.

"I know." He spoke into her hair. "…and misconstrued, naïve, idiotic as that love is I hold it close, because the fact a being, an angel, like you Bella, can love me is my only redemption."

She pulled away from him, already steadying herself for the moment that was their last. He too stiffened, becoming more formal as he watched her distance herself. He grinned sheepishly as Bella glanced at the papers blanketing the carpet.

"What were you going to do with them?" She asked curiously.

"Burn them." Jon replied quickly. "Sorry."

Bella sighed.

"You really are evil." She said regretfully.

"Yes." He said unapologetically. "Sorry about that too."

"Can I have them back?"

He nodded wordlessly, and as Bella crouched to replace her, or perhaps Edwards, sentimental possessions into a messy pile, she felt his eyes bore into her back. She stroked them tenderly, rereading words of passion and reliving moments of security, her eyes softening as she looked into the past with hope for the future.

"Good times." She muttered, her happy face looking back at her, smooshed against Alice and Emmett's.

"You'll have better." Jon said, unable to stop bitterness ruining the sentiment. "I don't understand your devotion to that… that… _boy_, but your love will give you better days then I can. So I'll let you go."

"Thanks." She said sincerely, trying not to think about what Jon could have done if he refused to let her go. He looked at her expectantly, frowning when she didn't continue. "You were really happy then, weren't you?"

"Of course." She replied, surprised he didn't understand. "Those few months… They were the most innocent I'll ever experience. I'd never loved anyone before him, I'll never love anyone else again and for a while it never occurred to me to worry that he would grow a thousand years older then me before death crossed his mind, or that his very nature yearned for my blood. I worried that he was more beautiful then me sure, I worried I wasn't worthy but I never saw him as anyone but the wonderful, fantastic man he was, he is. I'm not sure I would have that naivety now."

"And you loved him?"

Bella eyes widened painfully, she forced herself to look deep into Jon's eyes, irises tattooed red as they were.

"I love him, Jon. I think I loved him before I even met him, it's like loving Edward is burned into my DNA. My body doesn't know how to love anyone else."

Jon nodded, seemingly with out words. His expression was pained as he turned away and Bella wondered if this action of leaving him was condemning him to the loneliness she had loathed.

"I suppose this is it." He said finally. She nodded.

"It is."

"I'll be there when you meet with Marcus, but after that…"

"That's it."

He seemed to shudder slightly. Bella reached out and Jon, somehow with out looking at her, stopped her shortly.

"Don't. It is what it is."

The noise that came from her throat as Bella turned to leave was not a sob, nor was it laughter. She wanted to do both and somehow they got stuck coming out.

"Bella?"

She turned back to see Jon looking at her with a strange sort of reverence.

"Yes?"

"He was wrong… Edward was wrong."

Bella frowned and Jon grinned at her, his eyes mellow.

"The humans are not the predictable ones, among the beings that walk this earth. Remember that."

--

Bella was glad as she walked back that she had asked Edward to go back to the Cullen's ahead of her. If she were human it would have felt good to cry out her loss, because that was what Jon was, a necessary, bone deep loss. She was not human, and she had no way to mourn with physical ferocity, so she walked and listened to the crunch of autumn leaves. She thought back to half forgotten human times, trying to re-piece together her memory but it was futile.

All she had now was the future.

Edward waited for her on the porch of their home, his face terse. He relaxed as she drew near him, reacting to the smile that spread aimlessly across her face. He jogged the last few paces before meeting her half way through the garden, catching her in his arms and hugging her hard.

"Did you get your closure?" Edward asked softly, tenderly stroking her hair.

"Yes." Bella said with a smile. "I think I did."


	14. Wedding Plans

_I used to believe that marriage would diminish me, reduce my options. That you had to be someone less to live with someone else when, of course, you have to be someone more._

Candice Bergen

"Um." Bella frowned intently at her row of cards. "Do you have any… Sevens?"

Alice squealed happily and Bella slumped back against Edward's legs with a groan.

"Go fish!"

"I have an idea where you can go." She muttered and Alice's eyebrows shot up.

"What was that?"

Bella smiled at her sister innocently.

"Your turn."

"Nines?"

Bella scowled and plucked out two nines throwing them in Alice direction, neatly the dark haired teenager caught them between her freshly manicured fingers.

"Are you sure you're not using your gift?"

"You know I wouldn't do that." Alice replied sweetly. "Not to mention I can't when it comes to you. That's very frustrating by the way."

"I feel just awful about it." Bella said sarcastically. "Truly. Jacks?"

Alice sniffed.

"Go Fish." She paused. "Twos?"

Alice won the game with a grin and Bella groaned, half turning and burying her face into her fiancé's legs.

"I quite like playing with you Bella." Alice crowed. "No one complains about me cheating. It's liberating."

"Well I don't like playing with you Alice." Bella said, although not unpleasantly. "You're too good. Lets do something else."

Alice's face split into a grin and behind her Edward sat up with a start, yanking ear buds from his ears.

"Al-"

"How about some impromptu wedding planning?"

As if by magic, but more probably because of super-human hearing, both Cecily and Rosalie skipped into the room, their faces excited. Bella grimaced at both of them and both sisters looked back at her with identical expressions of smugness. Despite her self Bella couldn't help feel a slight twinge of envy at the sight of Cecily and Rosalie side by side, their loveliness illuminating the room. Although Rosalie was still by degrees the most beautiful Cullen, the addition of Cecily contended that place in the family. Both of them possessed a whimsical, magical, fairy tale-esq beauty that could not be made with venom or vampires. Regardless she did not begrudge them their beauty, or their lives, anymore.

"Alice." She pleaded. "The wedding isn't going to be for months and months, possible years, possible never."

Not one of the three vampire woman in the room bothering acknowledging the last part.

"Well it's not like we can know that, you haven't given us a date." Cecily said innocently and Alice nodded. Bella growled.

"Alice, you promised you wouldn't bully Bella into something she didn't want to do." Edward said loyally, slipping his long arms around her shoulders. Bella smiled at him thankfully but Alice completely ignored him.

"Edward I really don't think it's appropriate for you to be here." Rosalie told her brother lightly, her eyes calculating.

"Not appropriate for me to be here?" Edward said archly, raising his eyebrow. "Rosalie need I remind you this is my wedding you're hijacking."

"No, it's Bella's wedding we're hijacking." Cecily grinned. "You're the groom Edward, and frankly we don't care about your opinion. Your only job is to turn up, say your vows and look pretty."

Edward scowled and even Bella had to stifle her giggles.

"Why are you pushing this Cecil? I thought you and Rosalie were on Team Save Bella."

Rosalie looked directly at Alice, Alice shifted bashfully.

"Alice bribed us." Rosalie's eyes softened wistfully. "The new Porsche convertible, bubble gum pink."

"That seems excessive." Bella said and Alice grinned agreeably.

"Not at all, unlike other females in this room you only plan on having _one _wedding and I have, _have_ to be a part of it."

Bella knew she was folding and Alice knew it too. She stared at her feet stubbornly, mustering the last of her will power.

"Alice…"  
Oh Bella." Alice played her ace, pouting sorrowfully, "Don't you want to spend time with me?"

"Of course I do." Bella surrendered, beside her Edward groaned in resignation.

"You don't want me to be happy?"  
"Of course…"  
"Bella…"

"Fine!" Bella threw her hands in the air. "Just stop with the guilt trip. You can help plan my…" She shuddered slightly. "Wedding."

"Fantastic!" Alice looked positively manic. "Edward. Go away."

Rosalie and Cecily were upon Edward in a flash, despite Bella's displeasure, their small hands pulling at his shoulders.

"Edward can stay!" Bella shouted. "Alice Cullen!"

Edward raised his arms in defeat, his expression a twisted combination of amusement and irritation.

"Fine, I will leave for your tyrannical girl talk. Personally as long as Bella turns up in a dress and with a smile I'll be ecstatic, there are really only so much ways you can ruin this wedding Alice."

Bella turned to him, caressing his cold cheek with the back of her hand. She kissed his lips gently,

"Of course I'll have a smile on my face. Even if we are married in a graveyard I would still be marrying you."

"Argh!" Cecily retched. "Can you dial the adoration down to a dull worship please?"

Edward pulled away from the kiss and gave his sister a look of supreme chagrin.

"And on that note, I think I will leave the room."

Bella, her hands tangled in the front of his shirt, reluctantly allowed Edward to leave despite the petulant, twisting pout her mouth took upon. Elated Alice rushed past her, disappearing from the room for a split second before reappearing with a massive, and terrifying, binder. Stuffed to bursting with what Bella could only comprehend as 'wedding stuff.'

"Alice, this is not necessary."

"Yeah Alice." Rosalie cut in, eyeing the binder wearily. "Nobody ever has ever found this binder helpful. Retire the binder, Alice."

Alice scoffed, unoffended by Rosalie. Cecily giggled behind her hand.

"Alice has made Rosalie memorise certain parts of the wedding binder over the years." She told Bella conspiratorially as Alice and Rosalie bickered. "It has everything from vamp friendly locations to exxy but beautiful wedding dresses that flaunt the hips. My sister is very through."

"You wouldn't find a being on this scary, round spinning thing that would be brave enough to disagree with you." Bella agreed dryly.

"…You may be competent enough to plan your own wedding- sorry my bad, _weddings_, but Bella is a disaster. She needs the binder."

Alice and Rosalie glared at each other, nose to nose. Bella looked between them, suddenly concerned that one of them would end up with a chunk ripped out of their side. Then Rosalie withdrew with a nod and turned her piercing gaze towards Bella.

"Bella. Tell me about your perfect dress."

Bella blinked.

"Perfect dress."

"Yeah." Rosalie smiled encouraging, an effect that looked eerily like a cat sharpening its claws. "You must have thought about this, what you would wear on your wedding day."

Bella assumed that confessing she had had a grand total of nil thoughts about the aesthetics of her wedding day would only bring the binder on with more terrifying force. So she did what any self-respecting vampire did, she pretended.

"Um. I was thinking… white, although a light pink, yellow or champagne would be fine. Longish, but not too long, kinda shortish as well. Maybe an empire waist… Oh, and Alice, some sort of sleeve on this dress is not negotiable."

Cecily rolled her eyes.

"So basically you want a white dress."

"With some sort of sleeve, yes."

Bella could tell from the exasperation on the faces of the woman in the room just how busted she was. Alice was already reaching for the binder.

"Told you Rosalie." The brunette told the blonde. "Bella is a wedding imbecile."

Rosalie cocked her head and looked towards Bella with a fascinated expression of complete horror.

"My god Alice, your binder has found its calling."

"I was thinking Oleg Cassini for the dress, something classic." Alice obviously considered Rosalie's assent her green light. Bella could only watch in shock as Alice's mouth moved. "I have some basic designs in the binder but I would really like to ship Bella out to Milan for a week or so to really get something special. As for the location…"

"Stop!" Bella could already picture the extravagant wedding that Alice obviously had in mind, and the squillions of dollars that it would cost. She could not be more uncomfortable with that. "Alice please stop, I don't want a big wedding, I don't even really want a small wedding but… I just… I don't want anything too unnecessary."

"Stop saying that." Alice exploded, her little face hard with impatience. "If I hear the words wedding or unnecessary leave your mouth again Bella Swan, so help me, I'll…"

Alice left the specifics of what she would do to the imagination, but Bella got it. She sighed and pushed herself up from the floor, onto the couch next to Cecily.

"Fine."

Rosalie shifted across the room, a graceful, blonde blur, until she crouched in front of Bella, her ochre eyes serious.

"Bella, don't resign your self to Alice. Make this your wedding."

Bella widened her eyes in exasperation.

"Rose, I never really wanted a wedding. Edward, yes; Forever, certainly; but I don't see why…"

"You'll see why." Rosalie told her. "When you stand in front of all of those people, your friends and your family, when you pledge that love that you're so certain about, so that the world knows and holds you to it. It goes through you and you feel… something. You feel possession, like for these people to see this you must really belong to your love and he to you."

Bella thought about that and her heart hurt in a pleasant way, thoughts of Edward and eternity drifting happily across her eyelids when she closed them. She sighed.

"Ok." She said finally and Alice squeaked in excitement. "I'll do it."

"Rosalie you're so smart. Bella's such a sucker for the emotive angle."

Rosalie rolled her eyes at Bella, and Bella grinned.

"So what do I have to think about?"

Alice pulled out a loose sheet of paper from the binder and handed it to her. On brief examination Bella saw directions for dresses, settings, flowers, caterers, music, speeches and a large number of other unimportant technicalities.

"This is… A lot."

"I can deal with some of it." Alice said. "Stuff that isn't important to you like centre pieces and photographers. Other stuff I can hunt down for you after you give me an idea what you're looking for. Really, only a few things will need your direct approval."

"Ok." Bella said, her agitation lowering to the point of relief. Really, that didn't sound that bad, this… party could end up being relatively painless. "What's first?"

Alice frowned.

"I suppose we should decipher at least a vague overview of the thing. Have you seriously never considered this Bella, never ever?"

"Not in the least." Bella replied ruefully. "My mother was so against the entire institution I suppose at some point I started disliking it too."

"Oh…" Alice's bottom lip wobbled. "That's so sad. Really Bella, that's truly awful."

Bella shrugged and glanced at Cecily.

"Any ideas?"

"Visualization." Cecily suggested. "Just close your eyes and imagine standing at the alter."

Bella did so, fabricating her wedding day around herself inch by inch. Cecily's voice guided her from the outside of her daydream.

"Start with Edward, he's easy. He's smiling, he loves you. Now look down, what are you wearing?"

"White." Bella said automatically, not bothering to deliberate on a decision she had so little an opinion on.

"Fitting." It was Rosalie, predictably, who made that comment.

"Silk." Bella continued, unabated. "Floor length. This dress has thick straps."

She added the last part decisively, studying Alice's irritated expression behind her half closed lids.

"Ok…" Cecily continued. "Now look beside you… Maid of honour and bridesmaids?"

"You guys of course." Bella replied, her voice reflecting the obviousness of that statement. There was silence and Bella opened her eyes in concern.

"Oh… I'm sorry… You don't have too…"

"No…" Cecily said softly. "It's not that, it's just… You don't have to you know, I mean we haven't known each other that long and I would understand if you would prefer...."

"Don't be absurd Cecily." Bella snapped. "You're my sister and you're my friend, at least I hope so. I want you beside me while I marry your brother, I wouldn't have it any other way."

Cecily grinned, her expression undeniably maudlin.

"Thanks Bells."

Rosalie sniffed loudly, ruining the moment. Bella looked over at her with a eyebrow raised.

"I suppose Alice gets dibs on the star performance."

Bella nodded apologetically.

"She deserves it."

The was a whoosh of moving air and Bella had the stale air pushed out of her lungs by a speeding Alice, who had wrapped her tiny arms around Bella with fierce disregard.

"Thankyouthankyouthankyou!"

"You're right." Rosalie said with good-natured distain. "She does want it more."

"Please don't make me wear puce again." Cecily begged from behind Alice's shoulder. "My dress for Rosalie and Emmett's last wedding was…"

Alice pulled away sharply, her expression deeply scandalized.

"Cecily Cullen, that was a Fendi original design."

"It was hideous. It made you look like a princess of course, but with my colouring I looked more like a walking half skinned sweet potato."

Bella highly doubted this but she readily agreed to use no trace of puce with the bridesmaid dresses.

"Close your eyes again." Alice ordered. "I want you to look out into the guests. How many?"

Bella frowned.

"Zero… Alice, who on earth is going to come to my wedding?"

Alice didn't seem concerned by this truth; to the contrary the tiny lady vampire merely dismissed it with a wave of her hand.

"Don't worry about that. Tell me about the floral arrangements…"

"Non-existent because I don't care about floral arrangements." Bella answered automatically. "Who came to Emmett and Rosalie's wedding?"

"Another thing for me to take care of." Alice said happily. "About 200 guests at the largest reception."

Bella gawked at Rosalie who looked smug.

"How do you know 200 vampires?"

Rosalie tossed her long mane of golden locks over her shoulder and grinned.

"Oh well you know. Not all vampires. Witches, daemons… there are even a few human organizations who are privileged with the knowledge of our existence."

"Oh…"

It had been an idea that had hovered in the far reaches of her mind since Alice had first raised the marriage debacle. The question about how receptive each Cullen would be to those of her acquaintances, Lilly, Viv, Patrick, Mason, Josh, who did not follow their diet. She raised it now reluctantly, knowing it might be her only chance.

"I have some friends who I have become kinda close to over the years…" She asked tentatively.

Alice beamed at her and jotted another note down in her planner in small, black scrawling writing.

"Great! I knew you must know someone, even you're not that socially retarded."

"Thanks." Bella said dryly. "It's just that… Actually…"

Cecily giggled impishly and Rosalie snorted as they caught her meaning.

"There are only two clans of 'vegetarians' in our knowledge, including ourselves. You really think we disallow any vampire that doesn't suck down bear and deer blood. Invite them, we'd love to meet your friends Bella."

"Really." Bella said archly. "Because you _adore_ Jonathan."

Alice and Rosalie exchanged a dark expression and Bella wondered if the subject would ever be ok, or if it would remain taboo and painful for their entire unlives. She was relieved when Alice started talking about shoes, an emotion she had never experienced in that context.

"Even with vampire dexterity I think it would be safer to go with flats in Bella's case."

"Hey." Bella said defensively. "Are you implying that I'm so unbelievably bad at walking in a straight line with out falling that even magic vampire mogo can't make me walk in high heels?"

"Of course not." Alice lied badly. "Just a precaution."

Bella lay back into the couch with a happy sigh, allowing Rosalie and Alice to take back the reins of her marriage. Their soft voices hung around her, warm and secure, and Bella didn't bother focusing on their meaning, after a few moments they were just a blur of wedding talk and family gossip. She closed her eyes, answering only when the questions were directed at her specifically, the hum of voices and the warmth of the room and the company was like a particularly eloquent dream.

She felt before she heard Edward enter the room again, his calm voice steady amongst the excited pitch of his sister's.

"Is it safe for me to return?"

"I suppose." Alice replied, preoccupied with her growing mountain of notes. "What are your thoughts on orchids?"

"I've really never considered them." Edward plopped down in the space with Bella and Cecily, Bella leant against his shoulder inhaling his indescribable but infinitely intoxicating scent. When she opened her eyes she found that Alice was glaring at them both with fiery exasperation.

"You guys definitely belong together." Alice spat. "Because you are both beyond hopeless. "

"Freesias." Edward said peacefully, more interested in the strand of Bella's own mahogany hair he had twisted around his finger. "I want Bella to hold a bouquet of freesias."

Bella sat up a little straighter and looked at Edward in surprise, even Alice looked at her brother as if he had redeemed himself somewhat.

"Freesias…" She muttered. "I can work with that."

Bella brushed her lips slightly against his chin.

"I'm impressed. Maybe you should have a bigger part in the planning them me."

Edward seemed to find this very amusing.

"Silly Bella." He teased, his lips magnetized to her own. "You're my inspiration in everything I do. Even if I were to orchestrate every singular detail it would be no more my wedding then yours."

"You're corny." Bella grinned, but her heart flipped anyway. "How do I inspire you to choose lilacs for our wedding?"

Edward's eyes bore into hers, his expression intense.

"I don't suppose you notice it about yourself." He said, his voice too soft to be overheard, "But among other exquisite, intangible odours you do smell very much like freesias."

"Freesias…" Bella murmured. "I wish I had a pretty flower to compare your aroma to, unfortunately I can't conjure up something a fraction as sweet or compelling."

Alice's shriek pierced the air and shattered their moment. For a second Bella thought that it was a, probably justified, shriek of derision at the sappiness of their tête-à-tête, then she saw the blank look of premonition and knew it had to be something much more significant.

Jasper was at his wife's side in the swiftest of seconds. Alice groaned, rubbing her head wearily. At a pitch too low to be heard by the concerned room she muttered something to Jasper.

"I know." Jasper said darkly. "I just saw Carlisle. I was on my way here when I heard you cry out."

"Oh." Alice seemed embarrassed. "I overreacted a bit it seems."

"Just a touch."

"Care to share with the rest of us?" Cecily asked tartly, unamused by being left out.

Alice looked directly at Bella and Edward, wordlessly pleading with them not to be melodramatic. Bella knew it was going to be bad.

"Carlisle just got word from Marcus. What ever goes down, it goes down at dawn."

Bella swallowed and clenched Edward's hand so tightly that if he had been mortal it would have shattered.

"That's in twelve hours."

"And we'll be ready." Alice was resolute, her expression mercenary. "This family stays together."


	15. Dangerous Plans

**AN: Well it's been a fun ride, but The Heart Brings You Back is almost over. Including this chapter there are three chapters left and then an Epilogue. Anyway, thanks to all my marvellous reviewers and everyone who bothered to read it. You guys are awesome. :)**

_"I am anti-life, the beast of judgement. I am the dark at the end of everything. The end of universes, gods, worlds... of everything. And what will you be then, Dreamlord?"_

_"I am hope."_

Neil Gaiman, The Sandman

The nine of them gathered in the dining room, coupling automatically into their natural pairs. Only Cecily stood alone, the only one now, slightly apart from the imposing forms of Rosalie and Emmett. Edward felt Bella shudder slightly against him, her eyes fixed determinedly on Carlisle as the fair haired vampire spoked hurriedly into his cell phone.

"Is this really… No… I understand that Caius, however… No… Yes… I consider it an unnecessary, blatant affront to my family… Fine… _Fine_."

Carlisle set down the phone with force that was unlike him, although if he regretted the slip of control he did not show it. His features puckered as he laboriously tried to school them into a calm expression.

"No getting out of it I'm afraid." Carlisle announced to room, his voice cheery but strained. "Caius is insistent that we meet with Marcus at dawn."

His natural inclination to be over protective made Edward glance down at Bella, snug against his hip, a sick expression on her face. He gripped her palm and nudged her, silently warning her ochre eyes when they turned to him not to do anything rash. Bella let her head drop slightly, a tiny affirming nod.

"Aro probably just wants an update on how our coven is fairing." Carlisle continued more confidently. Edward had not heard anything in Carlisle's head that his father did not want him to hear for perhaps a century, so he could only guess how much of Carlisle's statement was hope, and how much was conviction. "The Volturi have an active curiosity and we are a novelty for them. We are probably over reacting."

"And if we're not over reacting." Rosalie was tense. "There is no way we can overpower the Volturi guard. Not outnumbered."

"We have no other choice." Carlisle said sternly. "If we run, we will be found."  
"We may not." Cecily interjected. "Bella's gift would hide us."

"How well? For how long? Eventually one of us would stray too far out of the perimeters of her power and we would be found. If it were one of us hiding, or two, then running would be a feasible option but use your head, if we try to run, and are caught, we will be killed on the spot."

'_How many of us will be killed on the spot if we don't run."_

Rosalie was glaring, her thoughts livid. Images of their last visit to the Volturi court, years before they had met Bella, stuck in both Edward's and Rosalie's minds, the cold, dark building and the twisted, beautiful, evil souls that inhabited it.

"Would the Denali clan back us up?" Emmett asked gravely. "They do owe us."

"As we do them." Carlisle reminded his son wryly. "I wouldn't ask the Denali clan to risk their existence by following us into that clearing and I doubt Kate would agree if I did. It's not worth a vampire's life to offend the Volturi."

"So you admit it then." Rosalie said chillily, her eyes flashing with impressive anger. "We're gambling our lives by agreeing to this meeting."

"What other option do we have?" Carlisle replied, his own voice hard. "Please Rosalie, enlighten me."

"Anything is better then just walking up to our executioners, unprotected and compliant."

Jasper cleared his throat loudly, silencing Rosalie and Carlisle with calming connotations. The rest of the room looked at him gratefully.

"Bella." Alice asked calmly and deliberately. "You talked to Jonathan, right?"

Edward smothered a growl of contempt, shooting his sister a nasty look. Alice was taking great care to hide her plan from his prying gift. Bella looked up at him sharply, her quick eyes searching his face for the antipathy he tried to hide. When Bella looked back towards her favourite sister, her face was troubled.

"Yes, he told me that he would be there when I met Marcus."  
"At our side, or as an agent of the Volturi?"

"Either, both or possibly neither." Bella shrugged apologetically. "I think he meant to imply that he would look out for my interests, but if mine were to clash with his I'm not so sure his chivalry would apply. I don't…" Bella's expression was conflicted. "I don't understand Jon. Not really."

"Unpredictable." Carlisle murmured.

"I wish I could be of more help." Bella looked more agonized now, too much so for Edward who knew how dangerous Bella could be when she was being noble.

"You will be." Carlisle said simply. "You may not have noticed it yet Bella dear, but you are very useful to us."

Bella looked subdued but hardly convinced.

'_Edward.' _Alice was very deliberate with her thoughts; her glittering eyes burning into him from across the room. _'I don't need premonition to know that Bella's willing to do something awful if she thinks it's the only option.'_

Edward nodded.

'_It's not Bella, Edward. I don't know how I know, but I just do. The addition to the guard isn't Bella. It's going to work out fine." _

Edward nodded again, but he couldn't help doubting Alice. Alice wanted desperately for the implications of her vision to be wrong; Alice wanted to be the bridesmaid at Bella's wedding. Even if Alice was right, catastrophe could still be looming for the Cullen family. The ambiguous figure, looming omnipresent in the family consciousness, could be Alice herself, Jasper, Rosalie, Emmett, Carlisle, Esme, Cecily or even himself.

Hypocritical as it was, he would willingly sucker punch Aro himself if it meant Bella's safety. 

"We have to present a united front." Carlisle ordered. "Anyone with hesitations can speak with me privately, but come dawn we will be one unit. The best of families don't prove themselves in the best of times but prove their strength when they face hardship, destitute, horror beyond comprehension. We are the best of families."

Nobody argued with that, and for a moment all selfless acts were forgotten as they allowed fear to pierce their exteriors. The fear past through their eyes as they glanced at each other, lover to lover, brother to sister, mother to father, fear that in a few hours they would no longer be together.

They did not fear death or torture, but after finally becoming whole again the idea of being ripped apart was terrifying, agonizing.

Bella's arm wrapped around him, soothing his twisted gut. She looked up at him with trusting, loving eyes that Edward knew he would die a thousand times over for. They would over come this, he promised himself, this last, final hurdle and then they would be together, fully and forever as man and wife. His ring glittered on her finger, almost a fraction as beautiful as she was.

"Edward." She murmured into his ear. "Perhaps we should go."

He realised he hadn't noticed the subtle movements in the room. Cecily, Esme and Jasper had disappeared, Alice hovered by the door with Emmett, and Rosalie was beginning to make her way steadily towards Carlisle, a determined expression upon her pretty face.

"Yes." Edward said grimly. "That's a good idea."

Alice inclined her head slightly as he passed her on the way out.

'_I'm following you.'_

--

They parted silently as they reached the sanctity of their shared bedroom. She, her face still treacherous, lay down on the silk bedspread, studying the wrinkles and he strolled over to his precious music player. He fiddled too long with the buttons, pausing for a long moment when Le Cynge, the final movement of The Carnival of the Animals, filled the room. Slowly he moved away from the music player, tentatively lying down beside his fiancée.

"You're sad." He murmured, spooning her back.

"No." Bella replied, her voice tired. "Just worried."

He pushed away her hair and brushed a kiss against the back of her neck.

"I know." He was beyond lying to her. "Me too."

"Things were good again."

"_Are_ good. We'll figure this out."

She turned in his arms, burying her face in his chest. She was quiet for a long time, probably too quiet, Edward yearned desperately to know what was going through her mind. Finally she looked up at him, her expression intent.

"Edward…" She began.

A loud knock on the door made them sit up sharply. Alice pushed the door open, not bothering to wait for permission to enter, an uncharacteristically grim look upon her open face.

"Alice?" Bella looked confused. Alice nodded at her briefly, shooting her a silent apology for the intrusion.

"Is Rosalie still petitioning Carlisle to flee?" Alice asked Edward, although he was aware she already knew the answer.

"No." He replied shortly. "She's just looking for some reassurance."

"Oh." Alice bit her lip. "That's good, running wouldn't be a good idea."

"Tempting." Bella said, voice low. "But not sustainable. The Volturi would probably find us within months. We can't fight either, the guard is… perfect at what they do and we're not savage or merciless. We wouldn't stand a chance."

She growled in frustration.

"Rosalie is right! If the Volturi want to kill us then we have no choice but to bow our necks and let them. They'll take what they want from us and then they will destroy us."

"Stop it!" Alice snapped. "You don't know that Bella!"

"I don't want to take the chance! The Volturi are so lethal Alice."

"And what are you going to do?"

There was a thick silence and Bella hung her head.

"Al…"

"No Bella!"

Alice looked fierce.

"Bella _promise_ me, promise _us,_ that you won't do anything stupid or self sacrificing in that meadow."

Bella's eyes were bland.

"I promise." She said flatly.

Her lie turned his gut painfully. Edward pursed his lips, the certainty of their relationship slipping back into tentativeness. He acknowledged the irrationality of feeling like this was a betrayal, her willingness to hand herself over, yet he could not deny his own feelings.

"You're lying." He told her flatly.

"Yes." She replied, her eyes blazing. "Yes I am."

Both Alice and Edward made identical noises of despair, Edward moved off the side of the bed.

"Bella…"

"No Edward." Her voice was level. "This is my fault, they want me and if it comes down to…"

"No!" Edward roared. The force of his anger, at her, at his beloved, frightened even him. Bella gasped, but the conviction in her eyes never wavered. "You won't!"

"You can't make me promise that." Bella shouted back. "I love you all so much, you're my truest family and I have never wanted to belong anywhere else. I would do anything, anything, to know that you are alive, that you are safe. There is no choice between my life, my happiness, and yours. There is no negotiation on the subject."

Edward pulled her from the bed, placing his face inches from hers. Alice forgotten in their private argument, watched silently from the corner of the room.

"I will die." Edward told her, loud and clear and careful so that she caught every meaning in his words. "That is the choice you make Bella, because I will not live in a world that does not have you in it."

She was already shaking her head.

"You don't need me as much as you think Edward."

"Yes he does." Alice cut in flatly.

"Yes I do." Edward agreed.

"You survived once."

"I won't survive again."

"It might not be for long." Bella said, her voice taking on a pleading quality. "Another ten years, even another fifty, it would be a small price to play for your safety."

"You know…" Alice said softly. "That once they have you, they won't let you go."

Bella looked at the floor, distress etched into her expression. She looked very small and vulnerable again, and it took great strength of will for Edward not to wrap his arms around her. This was more important, this was her life and their eternity, and he would die before he let her gamble that away.

"This is my fault." She muttered. "If anything happens I will never forgive myself."

"Argh!" Alice threw her hands into the air. "How on earth do you rationalise that?"

'_You guys really are perfectly, perfectly matched in your cute little masochistic ways.' _

Bella looked at Alice in abject surprise.

"I brought them here."

"Jon brought them here."

"I brought Jon here."

Alice rolled her eyes.

"Jon betrayed you. You can't possibly blame yourself for that."

"It amounts to the same. They wouldn't be here if it wasn't for me." Bella replied stubbornly.

"Alice!" Edward cut in sharply, glaring at his sister. "Would you allow me and Bella to talk about this alone?"

"No!" Alice snapped. "This is a family issue."

"Alice! _Please_."

Alice glowered at him but nodded.

"Fine. Half an hour."

"Thank you." Edward said politely. He paused then dismissed her with a silent narrowing of his eyes. Alice stared at Bella for a moment, beseeching her, and then with a graceful pirouette she exited the room.

Edward moved silently and swiftly across the room, enveloping Bella's small body in his. She slumped against him, resting her head against his chest as if listening for the absent heart beat.

"I'm sorry." She muttered, her voice coming out strangled. "I don't want to fight, I just…"

Bella pulled away slightly and shrugged.

"I've just been alone for so long. I'm not used to thinking of my actions as affecting anyone else."  
His long white fingers pressed against her chin, pushing her face up to meet his.

"We'll always be here for you to affect with your silliness."

"Hopefully." She replied grimly.

"Bella." He said harshly. "Promise me. Promise me Bella."

"Fine." Bella said finally, after several long moments. "I will resist, to the best of my abilities, throwing myself under the proverbial steamroller."

He smiled at her, kissing the lids of her eyes tenderly and her lips beatifically. As quickly as his discord had come it disappeared and the euphoria of her presence settled him again. Yet agitation lingered under his skin, even as Bella pressed herself against him, their bond was still so novel, so susceptible. Even when she hung in his arms Edward couldn't help feeling like she was due to disappear at any moment; a tormenting, exquisite hallucination.

"No leaving." He made her promise again.

She looked up at him sharply, her mouth opening slightly before snapping closed.

"I promise." Bella said flatly. "Now you promise."

He was stunned speechless.

"Of course." Edward told her. "You know I would never leave you."

"No." She said quietly. "Not really."

There was a pained silence. Her eyes followed him as he drew back from her, the link of their hands breaking, and leaned his forehead against the cool hardwood of their bedposts. The clean cold felt present even through the heaviness of anguish, but it did little to calm him like he had intended. He wanted to sob heavy sobs of remorse; he wanted her to hurt him, to yell at him, to kill him for forgetting, even for a moment, his most grievous sin. Bella moved gracefully onto the bed beside him, her small hands resting affectionately on his cheek.

"I didn't mean to upset you."

Edward looked at her with supreme bemusement.

"Upset me? You're absurd Bella."

"I didn't mean it like you think I meant it." Bella said gently, her fingers falling down and curling in her lap. "I know you love me, I believe that, I do. It's just… I can't help feeling like something's going to tear it away. I've only been at peace once before and we all know how that ended."

He couldn't stop himself from flinching. The ever-present guilt tore at his gut, always, always there even when happiness made him want to float around the room.

"I can't stand that I hurt you."

He was repeating himself now, yet every time the words gathered in his throat he had found a new reason to say them. He had done so much damage to the very being he wanted to keep safe and unharmed, too much damage to ever be forgiven really.

"It doesn't matter." Bella said softly, and suddenly her sparse weight was in his lap. Her thighs straddled him and her face watched him from inches away, quick eyes studying every facial movement. She smiled at him with strained amusement. "We've all hurt each other. If I can deal with the fact I brought home a fiery Armageddon of evil vampire assassins then you can deal with your issues."

She kissed him hard, lips searing an icy burn against him. He held her hips as she writhed against him; their bodies merging together as need filled them both up. The kiss deepened as Edward responded with equal fervour, the urgency of their make out session increasing as they slipped down onto the bed.

"We move on." She whispered against his lips. "It's all we can do."

He stroked her cheek lovingly; even if they did die today it couldn't change the perfection of this one moment in time. That was immortality.

"We have to know that one of us won't do something stupidly noble at the slightest hint of trouble or we will both go insane." He told her seriously, and reluctantly she nodded. "Promise me Bella."

Screwing up her nose and biting down hard on her bottom lip, Bella buried her face in his chest with a snort.

"Fine."

Edward fiddled with the tips of her mahogany hair and grinned impishly.

"Thank you."

"Now you promise."

Bella struggled to stay disgruntled but the tip of her mouth quirked into an unbidden smirk. Edward leant his smiling face against hers.

"I promise."

They stayed like that, lost in the moment, for a long time. She was so close to him that he felt the whisper of her lashes grazing his cheek and her perfume, tantalizing but no longer a despicable temptation, engulfed him as wholly as the endless pool of her eyes.

"Are you done staring into each others eyes?" Alice asked grumpily, thoroughly ruining the moment as she re-entered the room.

Bella sighed quietly and sat up, looking mildly embarrassing at the compromising position Alice had found them in.

"Sorry Alice." She muttered ruefully.

Edward on the other hand didn't see the point in rising; he had been much too comfortable a moment before and looked forward to Alice leaving so he could be comfortable again with his Bella.

"Ok." Alice grinned. "I get when I'm not wanted. Just tell me that I'm not going to have an alarming premonition of Bella throwing herself at Aro and I'll go."

"Of course you won't." Bella replied practically. Edward sniggered.

"I keep forgetting." Alice pouted. "If I haven't said it before I really, really dislike your gift."

"Personally I couldn't be more glad that neither of you can sneak your way into my head." Bella said tartly. "Edward especially, my thoughts are embarrassing."

Edward sighed wistfully; he couldn't stop his more shallow side mourning his inability to hear Bella's thoughts.

"It would be so convenient though…"

Alice scoffed and left with a roll of her eyes. Edward reached up and pulled Bella down beside him, so that once again he was transported by the intricacy of her physiology. He would spend every millisecond of the next few hours memorising every pore on her face. Death and destruction could wait an hour or so, it always had before.

---

The fog pooled around their feet as they stood, waiting. Undeniably they made an imposing group, the rigidity of their bodies, the hardness of muscle under clothing, betrayed menace that the kind, warm light of day hid. To human eyes they did not look like separate entities, if human eyes had seen them, they were a unit of blonde, bronze, black and mahogany.

Cecily's hand found its way into Bella's, and Bella clenched it. Around Bella's waist Edward's arm did not budge. They were all entangled like that, Emmett with Rose, with Jasper, with Alice, with Carlisle, with Esme, with Edward. Only Jonathan Stone stood alone and separate, blowing smoke rings, his face stoic.

Red eyes gleamed through the shadows as the others approached.

Edward's arm tightened and Bella shuddered. Dawn streaked the sky with blood and everything was silent.

It had begun.


	16. Sweetest Downfall

_You are my sweetest downfall_

_I loved you first, I loved you first_

_Beneath the stars came falling on our heads_

_But they're just old light_

_They're just old light_

_Your hair was long when we first met._

_Samson, Regina Spektor_

--

Fifteen white shapes entered the meadow, their bodies stark against the fog. Five of them, the oldest and the scariest, broke apart from the group as they strolled in the centre, leaving their comrades to stand a foreboding perimeter. Three could be recognized from Edward's avid descriptions: the tallest male who was almost as big as Emmett, with thick sooty hair could only be Felix, the tiny, lethal looking female was Jane (who Edward spoke of with unequivocal hatred in his voice) and finally, the most terrifying figure of all, the withered but beautiful old man named Marcus. It was he who spoke for the group.

He spoke at first directly to Jonathan, who stepped forward to receive his words,

"Jonathan Stone." He remarked dryly. "The company you do keep."

His voice was deep, slow and dry as sandpaper, there was a double edge of sadism in his words that chilled better company to the bone.

"Marcus." Jon acknowledged pleasantly, although his features were hard. "It's been too long, really. Any news from Volturra?"

"More of the same, I suppose." Marcus turned to Carlisle, who raised his brow enquiringly. Although Marcus spoke politely, he looked at Carlisle with intense dislike. "Aro sends his best wishes."

"How nice of him." Carlisle replied mildly. "Please return them when you do see him. I regret that I can't visit more."

"Yes." Marcus sneered. "There's rather a conflict of dietary habits isn't there. I suppose you haven't out grown that eccentricity."

"Not as yet."

Marcus sniffed and turned back to Jonathan. Bella shivered slightly as his burgundy gaze faulted momentarily between her and Edward. The satisfied quirk of his mouth may have been imagined, but somehow Bella didn't think so. She remembered what Edward had told her about Marcus' assumed gift and wondered what exactly it was that Marcus saw between them that intrigued him so.

"That is the girl is it not?" He asked Jonathan. Bella looked up at Edward's face, dismayed, but not surprised, to see it tightening in agitation. "She doesn't seem particularly compelled to leave. You were foolish to choose a protégé who had a companion, I don't believe she has ever, or will ever, agree to join us."

"This…" Jon said slowly, glancing at Edward with distaste. "Is a recent development."

"Really?" Marcus sounded genuinely surprised. "I would never have guessed. It's very rare to see a bond that strong at all, unheard of after a few weeks."

"It's a very entertaining story." Carlisle interrupted. "I will tell it to you once we have finished our business here."

"Oh." Marcus' face lost all signs of curiosity and once more it was more akin to a face carved out of granite then anything that had ever been remotely human. "Yes, that's quite awkward I'm afraid. I can't return empty-handed, and I was promised a unique specimen which clearly, Isabella appears to be."

"Yes." Carlisle agrees. "She is certainly that. However the problem remains that, quite frankly, she belongs to us. I regret that you had to come all the way to Forks for nothing."

There was murmur of discontent among the guard, the large vampire Felix growled openly.

"And you?" Marcus scowled at Bella, who shrunk back against Edward's arm. "Do you have anything to say?"

Bella opened her mouth, but no sound came out. She clamped it shut again, determined not to let her sentimentality give Marcus ammunition in which to tear apart her family. Seeing that she was not going to answer the older vampires lips turned up in an evil grimace.

"What is your full name?" Marcus persisted cruelly. "How old are you?"

"She doesn't have to speak." Jonathan interrupted sharply. Bella looked at her sire with relief and gratitude, Edward with surprised respect. "What she says will have no effect on your ultimate decision."

Marcus' grimace straightened into a cold tight line of malice. His gaze locked on Bella once more.

"You do trigger the strangest reactions from our kind, little girl. I think that Aro will find you very intriguing."

Then very suddenly Marcus turned to glare hatefully at Jonathan, his burgundy eyes darkening as his face turned away from the light, to inky black.

"There seems to be a misapprehension." He told the group icily. "…That the Volturi responds to your raison d'être and whim. If I ask something of you then you will comply, and if you do not you will suffer the consequences."

Marcus beckoned to the child vampire beside him.

"Let me introduce you…" He announced mockingly to his audience. "To the consequences."  
Jane looked positively elated at the opportunity to abuse her gift. She grinned wickedly at Bella, Bella glared right back.

"What is your name?" Marcus asked again and when Bella did not answer he tapped his partner on the shoulder. "Jane…"

Edward yelped loudly in anger and alarm. Before it registered with Bella what it was that Jane planned to do to her, Edward was already pulling her behind him in an unnecessary and useless reflex. Jane's grin widened and her eyes fixated on Bella's, Bella could only stare uselessly back.

The flurry of motion and emotion made inactivity more surprising. For a moment Jane looked at Bella expectantly, everybody froze as they looked between the two females, then the world unfroze, Jane shifted uncomfortably and she glared even more keenly. When still nothing occurred Jane looked towards her master with a combination of indignation, remorse and fear.

"Why won't it work?"

Marcus, for the first time, smiled sincerely at Bella, evidentially pleased with her. Bella took an unconscious step back, her grip on Edwards arm becoming vice like.

"Yes, I do believe Aro is going to be thrilled with you."

Marcus glanced at Jonathan. Jonathan was looking at his protégé with a strange expression of pride and delight.

"I suppose you're quite proud of yourself." Marcus said with unexpected politeness. "No wonder she was so difficult to find."

"And for fifty years before this she was almost entirely alone." Jonathan said regretfully. "It would have been the perfect situation."

"And yet now she is no longer alone. She has a coven and a companion, and she, I assume, has no intention of coming peacefully."

Marcus paused as he surveyed the situation, his eyes passing over each terse face carefully. Bella had no warning or notion of his silent command to Jane, until very suddenly Edward dropped to the ground with an unholy scream, writhing at her feet.

"No!" Bella dropped down too, desperately and fruitlessly attempting to sooth him. The rest of the Cullen's looked on with alarm. "Stop it!

Marcus ignored Edward's screams; he spoke as if they did not exist at all.

"They call you Bella, do they not? What is your full name, little girl, how old are you and were do you come from?"

Bella answered automatically, her only inclination to stop the searing pain that Edward was experiencing.

"Isabella Swan. 19, or if you prefer, 76. I was born in Forks, turned in New Hampshire. Please _stop_."

Marcus looked at Edward as if he had simply forgotten he was present.

"Oh, certainly."

Jane looked determinedly disappointed, but at her masters command Edward's writhing halted almost immediately.

"Now." Marcus said calmly. "You see how helpful I am when you are co-operative. Please keep that in mind in the future."

Bella pulled Edward to his feet, trying not to glare at his aggressors.

"Are you ok?" She whispered. He smiled sadly.

"For now. Are you?"

She nodded and stroked his bronze curls haplessly.

Marcus watched their minute display patiently, when Bella and Edward straightened up he continued with his questions as impassively as if the interruption had not occurred.

"How long have you known Edward Cullen?"

Bella pursed her lips but answered quickly in fear that Jane would take her cue to subject terrible pain to her fiancé.

"Almost fifty nine years."

There was another communal hum of agitation from the standing guard. Felix, large and foreboding, studied Bella with new interest, his eyebrows rising up his brow. Marcus simply sighed wearily, apparently uninterested.

"You were involved with a vampire as a human, correct?"

"Yes."

"But he did not turn you?"  
Marcus's eyes flickered momentarily onto Edward's, whose entire form tensed in anticipation.

"May I ask why?

Like Marcus' other 'questions', this one was hardly voluntary. Bella's gut turned, old pain resurfacing for a few seconds before being pushed back under the surface.

"He had his reasons. I don't know them in detail."

Marcus nodded and looked at Edward enquiringly. Edward hid his disgust well, his marble face smooth.

"I was reluctant to have her bare the inadequacies of this existence." He spoke politely, as if merely commenting on the weather. "I believed that she would regret giving up her life for me."

He cleared his throat awkwardly.

"Obviously that point is a little redundant presently."

"Yes." Marcus agreed. "Isabella Swan, or perhaps you prefer Isabella Cullen, how was it that you met Jonathan Stone?"

"He was teaching a university class on…" Both Jonathan and Bella herself adopted an expression of embarrassment. "Mythical lore. Specifically, um, vampires."

Edward forgot himself momentarily and shot his fiancé a look of supreme indignation. Bella smiled at him apologetically, and he rolled his eyes.

"Perfectly harmless." Jonathan told Marcus, who was looking at him with a calculating sharpness. "A novelty lecture, I hardly expected any of my students to actually know what I was talking about, about who I was and yet there was Bella Swan front row, and she was...."

Jonathan looked at Bella with affection that she was hardly in the mood to return.

"Brilliant. I knew I had to change her. She was never one of them, it was her destiny to become one of us." He shot Edward a dark look. "Apparently not simple enough for some of us."

It wasn't just Edward who growled at that remark, Alice and Cecily joined in at the affront to their brother. Bella, who was trying desperately to stay objective and neutral and sane, couldn't help glaring at her misbehaving sire.

"Don't pretend as if you understand motives based on love and decency." Edward said coolly. "Don't talk as if you understand any part of my former decision on Bella's behalf."

"Yes." Jonathan answered acidly. "Outstanding decision that."

"Jonathan." Bella hissed. "Shut up."

Jonathan straightened himself haughtily to his full hight and looked at her reproachfully down his long, elegant nose. His eyes filled up hatefully with the bitterest betrayal.

"No. I'm right." He said loudly. "You of all people should know _that_."

"You are antagonizing him." Bella replied crossly. "To which this is neither the time or the place."

Not even Jonathan, in one of his worst, least helpful moods, could argue with that. Marcus had watched the tense exchange with mild but hardly overwhelming interest but now he looked back at Jonathan, another question posed on his lips. Jonathan faced Marcus, turning his back to Bella in the process.

"Why did you wait so long to hand her to us if you intended, and I both assume and hope for your sake you did, for her to join our ranks."

"Virtuous and strong Edward Cullen broke our little toy." Jonathan said mordantly. Bella was unsure which was more heartlessly cruel, Jon's words or the sick, dark expression in his eyes. "I wanted to hand to the Volturi a finished work, and she was… unstable."

Bella snorted. There had been nothing unstable or inconsistent about her behaviour before a few weeks ago, it had been painfully, heartbreakingly _stable_.

"Six weeks ago when you called me, you considered her fixed?"  
Jonathan said nothing; his face was hidden from Bella's. The Cullen's waited out their trial with bated breath, their stone bodies frozen in position.

Motion cracked the façade of stillness that the vampires inhabiting the meadow had developed so carefully. The flurry of motion happened in an instant and drew the attention of all the chilled skin, white-limbed things. Worse and much more noticeable was the bone curdling scream that split the cold fog, Alice's doll body crumbled beneath her, vampire immunity no shield against the illusion of pain Jane projected. Jasper roared, his fear and rage almost impossible to behold as he fell beside his lover.

"Stop!" He screamed at Marcus. The rest of the Cullen's moved forward in concern, moving into a loose semi circle around the pair. Only Bella moved forward, taking Alice's writhing hand in hers.

"Jonathan!" She yelled. "Answer the damn question!"

Jonathan waited several deliberate seconds, sizing up the gruesome scene before turning to Marcus and shrugging nonchalantly.

"Perhaps she was past fixing, perhaps I was wrong to think there was anything to fix in the first place. I wanted her to be…" He paused and for a moment he looked at Bella with no selfishness or malice, but with pure sentimentality. "I wanted her to be happy."

Bella averted her eyes. She couldn't afford to love or forgive Jonathan now; he was the enemy and chances were that he would soon be the enemy who had happily destroyed her family.

"I wouldn't have been." She muttered, releasing Alice's hand as her spasms ceased. She replaced it quickly with Edward's.

Marcus looked at her calmly with a mild kind of interest.

"You could be, you could be very happy."

Bella shook her head vehemently.

"I'm not a monster."

For the first time Marcus' face lost its expression of apathy entirely, it split slowly into a sneering, deadly mask. His guard hissed a low grumble at his flanks, yet Marcus almost seemed to be on the verge of grinning. For the first time in years Bella was reminded of Edward's bittersweet adage, _the lion and the lamb_.

She shuddered.

"Monster is an subjective term Ms. Swan, some would call it biology." Marcus purred, burgundy eyes flashing dangerously. Bella stayed silent and still, her grip on Edward's hand intensifying. "You left your humanity behind along time ago."

Bella swallowed.

"I know…" Marcus continued. "That you like to pretend some _remanent_ of that girl remains inside of you, that humanity still exists within your cursed frame, that the child Edward Cullen fell in love with still exists and you won't be left alone again. The truth of course is that you are no more a human then the lion who culls a deer. The hard truth is that you lost your humanity along time ago, and not when Jonathan Stone sucked the blood from your veins; you lost it the first time you lusted for the blood of another creature, you lost it the first time you tore into the flesh of something that was good and pure, you lost it the first time you looked at one of your weak, unaware classmates and considered tearing out their throat. You think that if you ignore these things they'll cease to exist, but you are wrong and eventually he will realize that and he will leave,"

Bella trembled; she hadn't trembled in fifty-seven years but she trembled now. Marcus' eyes looked deep within her and mercilessly plucked at her seams.

"We would never let you go Bella Swan." He cooed. "I can promise you that."

"No." She said steadily, and as the words left her mouth and her conviction was found once more, her body steadied. Edward's arm wound around her waist and he gripped her close, burying his face in her hair with a sigh of heady relief. "You're wrong. I know you're wrong."

"Do you know?" Marcus said slowly, he took a step back with a disgruntled expression on his face. "I suppose it doesn't matter."

He addressed Carlisle deliberately for the first time.

"I suppose, knowing your confounding disposition, that it wasn't intentional."

Carlisle's eyes swept over his children, apparently understanding the question. He was doing a very gallant job at keeping a straight face, but for the first time in the time in which Bella had known Carlisle, he allowed his fear and despair to crack his calm, stony expression.

"No, it wasn't intentional."

"So it is by coincidence, yet that doesn't change the fact that any member of your coven would be a credit to the guard. A psychic, a mind reader, an empath, any of your women would make admirable fishers, strength, endurance… and what ever it is that Bella Swan claims to be. Interesting, powerful ensemble."

"You're right of course." Carlisle replied quietly. "They are all powerful, fantastic, inspiring beings, although not for the reasons you think. How was it that you convinced Aro to allow this… coup?"

"It wasn't very hard." Marcus said smugly. "He's fond of you, is Aro, but even that fondness doesn't blind him to how strong your coven is growing. You have been allowed free rein for too long, and now it is the time to make hard choices. I'm not unreasonable, I will only insist on bringing home one, but it has to be one I'm afraid, there is no alternative."

A few feet away Cecily gave a rattling gasp and brought a hand to her undead heart. Bella couldn't move, she wanted to, she wanted to cry and yell and berate the unfairness, but she didn't- couldn't. Helplessness was paralysing, so severe it cut at her ice insides. _Checkmate, _a malicious little voice said inside her, _they win, the have you-_

Choose the way you want to loose.

To one side Felix was watching her with a sick kind of happiness, or perhaps excitement, that made her stomach churn. He sneered, showing her his bleached, glittering teeth. How was it possible to choose, how could she ever consider choosing between her family, between her happiness? There was no best way to loose, no better way.

"Let it be me."

For a moment Bella thought the quiet interjection was her own. Then, realising her mouth had not yet opened, she looked around frantically for the speaker. It was not, surprisingly, Edward, nor was it Alice, Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie, Emmett or Cecily. Jon stepped forward, his head bowed, standing between Marcus and the Cullen's.

A shock wave rippled its way through the meadow. Jon's head rose slowly and he looked at her, not with resentment but with a strange, irrational kind of regret. He turned back to Marcus, who was studying him with sloppily concealed irritation.

"I trust that is a satisfactory compromise?

"I'm not sure." Marcus said reluctantly. "I don't have any precedence for this. No one could have possibly anticipated you, Jonathan, performing a selfless act."

Jonathon chuckled humourlessly.

"And yet, I have." He paused, the silence stretching awkwardly. Then Jonathon did something that Bella would never have ever, in a million years, believed he would do. He pleaded.

"You know I'm the better choice." He implored gently. "No one has ever been more mercenary then I. I'm the obvious choice, the logical choice. I would have been made to join you years ago if I weren't so good at being free. I will join you now, you have my loyalty, undying and un-contended, if you release Bella from her contract."

"Jon…" Bella murmured. She wasn't exactly sure where she was going with her next sentence, but it seemed… unjust, to allow Jon to throw himself under the sword for her.

"Shut up, Bella." Jonathan snapped, and Edward's hand jerked her back. Jonathan turned back to Marcus.

"She will always be looking for a way home. I'm the better choice."

Marcus glowered at Jonathan spitefully. Marcus wanted a true hunt, a gory show-the-organs hunt, now he had one that was made less satisfying by Jon's submission. Yet, the Volturi were not sadistic in their nature, they were simply (by rule and consequence) indifferent, to ignore Jon's perfectly reasonable logic would not be indifferent, it would be messily, distractively involved. So Marcus really had no other answer to give.

"Fine." He hissed.

Jon nodded haplessly, he stared at his feet silently for a long moment before glancing up sharply, guiding his gaze back to Bella.

"May I have a moment with her?"

Bella swallowed, her mouth suddenly so dry. Marcus nodded indifferently, his mouth reforming his solid sneer.

"Five minutes."

Edward gripped Bella's hand tightly, before letting it go. He looked at her intently with his exquisite butterscotch eyes, and Bella did not need the ability to read minds to understand his warning. She kissed him lightly on the cheek before turning away, following Jonathan away from the group. His rough hand felt for hers, and as Jon's embrace found Bella's, she, at long last, felt no guilt for loving Jon.

--

They stood in silence for a moment, even though their time together was short. His silence was one of diffidence, hers of sorrow… Bella knew they shared regret.

"I'm sorry." She said finally, trying to keep the grief from her voice. "You shouldn't have to…"

"Yes." He said resolutely. "Yes I do."

"You know that Marcus wants you dead." Bella said quietly. "As soon as you reach Volturra…"

"I know I probably won't survive this." Jonathan interrupted again, his tone strangely calm. "If that's what you mean."

He seemed so unassuming in his outdated suit, his perfect face scrunched up as if terribly annoyed. Their dark shapes were still outlined but the fading blood sky.

"I'm sorry…"

"Don't be." He gripped her hands, bringing her wrists tenderly to his mouth. "It's me, I'm sorry."

The dam broke and Bella tore her hands from Jonathan's as she threw them around his neck. He hugged her close, letting her bury her head in his chest. She cried soft, dry sobs, and he held her, sharing her sorrow in silence.

"I never meant to betray you." She told him, reaching up and cupping his face with one hand. "And now, I have no choice. I don't know how to let you go, but Jonathan I have to, believe I have to."

He covered her hand with his, keeping her hand on his cheek. His raw, red lips twisted into the bitterest of sad smiles.

"I know Belladonna." He murmured. "Don't be sad anymore. You won't need me after this… You never _really_ needed me to begin with."

Bella's laugh sounded more like an animal in pain then an expression of mirth.

"I don't know how not to need you. You're my Mr-Fix-It, my best friend."

"I was an impostor." Jon said with self-directed distain. "All along I knew where, and with who, you belonged and all along I played desperately a part in a play I had no right too. You don't need me, you never did, but I let you pretend, I let you believe you did. Of all the things I should apologize for, I'm most sorry for that."

Bella released another sob, dry and harsh in the cold silence of the meadow. Jon mimicked her movements, and stroked her cheek restlessly.

"Please believe…" He told her. "That I always wanted you to be happy, and selfishly, I always wanted you to be happy with me. I've lived… a long time, and in all that time, hundreds of years, I've never known such warmth, such affection as our acquaintance has brought me. I am better for having known you, Bella Cullen."

Bella pulled away gently and wrinkled her nose, smiling crookedly.

"Well I'm worse for having known you, you idiot." She joked haplessly. "Because you are awful, you're just awful, and I love you and now I have to say goodbye."

She pulled on her earlobe, her face contorting suddenly, just for a moment, in absolute grief.

"I'm sorry." She sobbed. "I'm so sorry Jonathan. I'm sorry you have to go, and I'm sorry that I can't tell you not to, I'm sorry that it's too easy a decision to make and most of all, I'm sorry I love them more. I'm sorry, so sorry…"

He captured her in his arms again, saving her one last time, and Bella knew deep in a place she couldn't name, that whatever Jonathan was, he would always be something good to her. She was awful, so was he, and in this moment they forgave each other.

"I won't let myself forget you." She murmured. "Whatever happens…"

She broke down again, their friendship accumulating to a helplessness, a nothingness, to nonexistent tears on his shirt.

"You know, I think I'll live on." He lied softly, pleasantly. "Aro quite likes me, and overall, I think I'm quite resilient to absolutes."

Bella scoffed, but she smiled at him.

"I think maybe I'll even be happy there. What better place is there for me to belong?" He grinned. "So ironic. I've been silently pushing you your entire life towards the Volturi under the pretence that you would belong happily there, when really it is I who is the more rational match. You, Bella, belong here and I, where ever it is I do belong, do not."

His lips were soft against her forehead.

"Sweet girl, good person." He rested his cheek against her crown. "Sweet downfall."

Bella closed her eyes and breathed his scent in for the last time.

"I'll miss you Jon."

"No you won't." He breathed against her ear. "Isabella."

They heard Marcus' call to arms clearly through the meadow, pulling away in a simultaneous motion. Marcus' burgundy eyes followed them, clear against the stark white of his shrivelled face. For a second Bella could believe that he looked at them with something akin to envy, to empathy, and that some part of Marcus remembered love. Maybe, just maybe, he would be merciful.

Jonathan's hand slipped from hers as he walked away. The guard began to the melt into the Fork's countryside, their ghostly bodies disappearing as quickly as they had appeared. No one looked back, and for that Bella was grateful. She remembered her earlier thoughts, biting her lip to curb another arid sob. She had lied, it wasn't easy, it wasn't at all. Yet there was no good way to loose, no happy way to surrender. There was only better, only them and him, only a choice that had to be made.

_Choose the way you want to loose._

Now she could only believe that one day, she would see him again.

--

Soon enough Edward had retaken his place beside her, his cold body pressing against hers to pronounce his arrival. His large hands found their way into her hair, bringing individual strands up to his mouth. Bella buried her own face in his side, his warm, familiar scent comforting her immeasurably.

"Are you ok?" He murmured.

"I am now."

From her peripheral Bella watched the rest of the family cluster, talking to each other in low relief. As her emotions cleared she realised that she too was relieved, it was hard to loose Jonathan but it would have been infinitely harder to loose any of the Cullen's. They were her family, and now they were her life. She looked up at Edward with a smile.

"We're still whole."

"Yes we are." Edward said seriously, too seriously, his answering smile grim. "But I don't think we're done yet."

Bella looked at him curiously. The other Cullens seemed to be noticing something amiss as well, their voices rasing to a hum of agitation. A quick sniff of the still morning air was enough to tell her what it was. She recoiled, her hand slapping defensively over her nose.

"Ew…"

"Yes." Edward agreed lightly.

Carlisle glanced over to them, his eyebrows raised. The family walked slowly back into a huddle.

"What is that?" Cecily asked rancorously, her pretty face twisted in disgust.

"Nothing good…" Rosalie murmured. Bella shot her a look.

"Bella…"

The smell intensified.

"Seriously." Cecily hissed. "What…"

"Werewolves." Carlisle supplied evenly.

There was a crunch, and the following sounds of movement. Bella's eyes locked onto the dark entry point of the meadow. Shapes emerged.

"Hello boys."


	17. Endings Between Friends

AN: Oh faithful readers we draw very near to the end of The Heart Brings You Back. Just one more chapter and then an epilogue. Regardless, I hope you are not yet sick of the drama that follows the Cullen Clan. :)

_The life of the dead is placed in the memory of the living." -- Cicero_

Five lupine shapes sloped into the meadow, the sunlight reaching its way out of the cool green flora and glancing off their dark pelts. Only one upright figure followed them, Quil's body still strong and stiff after eighty years of life. He fumbled slightly with the greying hair at his temples as his black eyes met with Bella's, and the corners of his smile hardened into a grimace.

"Hey Bells."

He parted the small cluster of werewolves and moved to the head of the pack. The other werewolves murmured to themselves in grunts and sniffs, their tails waving in a slow, slightly hostile way. Bella glanced at Edward and he raised an eyebrow in return.

"Curious and curiouser." He muttered under his breath, the humour dilated by something not un-akin to worry.

"Hello Quil." Bella replied, trying at least, to smile warmly. They did smell very bad.

Quil looked at her sadly for a long moment and said nothing. The dog behind him whined.

"I wish I could say you look good." Quil finally, his tone bitter. Bella flinched.

"Quil…"

"When did he find you?"

Bella frowned and then as she comprehended what Quil had asked her, her lips parted slightly in surprise.

"Oh. No… This is a…" She indicated vaguely at her family. "New development."

"Oh."

The pause lingered and Bella felt Jasper fidget nervously behind her. Suddenly Quil smirked.

"Only you, Bella Swan, could get turned into a vampire at an ivy league college."

Bella smirked too.

"How have you all been?" She asked politely and Quil attempted to maintain his smile.

"Better then you." He said dryly. "Jared and Paul both died a few years ago with their imprints, but the rest of us are still here somewhere. There are only a few of us who still…"

His voice petered off as if afraid of revealing something important. Bella looked at the wolves who mulled around gracelessly, and wondered which familiar faces hid behind bestial masks.

"I'm not officially part of the pack anymore." Quil continued loudly, shattering her train of consciousness. "I don't phase anyway. But they wanted someone who knew you all to come and speak, so…"

"That wasn't necessary." Edward interrupted softly. "I can read the packs minds. You don't need to stay wolves on our account either; I know that it is Seth on the left who wants this over so he can go home and eat, Logan who is calling us nauseating, hideous jokes for death, that Emilia is the sole girl wolf and Leah's daughter and Max is her younger brother, and it is Embry who is…"

Edward paused and his face creased suddenly as if in pain.

"What?" Bella asked, and the Embry wolf seemed to grin.

"He's thinking about you…"

Bella didn't need any further explanation, she glared her most ferocious vampire glare at Embry, whose tail wagged harder into the dirt.

"Stop it."  
She bit her lip as Edward winced again.

"I know." Edward said gravely. "I've seen this before. You can not possible hate me more then Charlie did."

Embry slouched slightly, disappointed.

"The wolfy subterfuge isn't necessary." Bella said tartly, irritated by Quil's malevolent expression. "We're not going to attack you."  
Quil cocked his head slightly, glancing at his wolf brothers.

"I suppose." He drew out. "Although Sam definitely would not approve."

Bella was quiet for a few moments.

"It's still me Quil." She said in a small voice. He gazed at her sadly and shook his head.

"Is it?"

His mouth pursed tensely and he nodded to the other wolves behind him. There was a slur of hesitation and then one by one they retreated back into the forest and, Bella assumed, clothes.

She reflected on the wolves sadly, unable to reconcile them with the boys who had been her friends. They were not friends now, as much as she would like to pretend they were, and she was not Bella, not to them. Perhaps they blamed her, fairly, for Jacob's death or perhaps it was the natural hatred they felt for her kind. Their young bodies would be the same, but she would never know them again as her brothers and her allies.

"How old are you?" She asked Quil lightly, referring of course to his physical age.

Quil smiled slightly, his hand rising self-consciously up to the sparse silver hairs mixed in with his dark mane.

"Fifty three next month.

"You look _do_ look good." Bella smiled wryly. "Smell bad though."

Quil seemed to bite back a grin.

"Yeah you too."

"I smell better then you." Bella teased. "I look better then you do too."

Quil sighed, but nodded in resignation.

"Well you're half right stinky."

Bella shifted on her feet. Her body had the grace to be unsusceptible to exhaustion, but her heart did not share that luxury. She felt too tired to allow another friend be taken.

"How is Sam?" She asked quietly.

"Ok… You know how it is…" Quil said uncomfortably. It obviously chaffed something inside him to be discussing the intimacies of his pack with a vampire so casually. He looked over Bella's shoulder, his eyes narrowing suspiciously at Emmett, who loomed behind her protectively. "He's in his eighties now and he stopped phasing not long after Jacob for Em. He's pretty good though, doesn't get out much."

"And Emily…" Bella continued longingly. "She's good?"

Quil grinned his wolfy grin.

"She's Emily. Of course she's fantastic."

Bella smiled too, in relief.

"That's good."

"It must suck for you." Quil said suddenly. "Even we grow older. Do you feel it when you watch the people you love die?"

"Of course I feel it." Bella replied sharply, stung. She realised that Quil had not intended to be hurtful; he was just unable to remove his innate reaction of her and he was curious too. Alice slipped a hand onto her shoulder.

"You wanted this though." Quil said shaking his head. "We could all tell. _He_ could tell."  
Edward made a hissing sound, like an angry cat and Bella felt Alice move to reprimand him. She swallowed, choosing her words carefully.

"I wanted love Quil. Surely you of all people could understand that."

Quil looked like he wanted to disagree with her.

"Sometimes for a partnership to work… one of them has to change." Bella smile wryly. "Grow older… Stay the same."

"No offence." Quil said stiffly. "Because you were a great friend once Bella, but I don't want to talk to you about Claire."

Her practiced breathing hitched and her eyes blinked with the reflex motion of blinking back dry tears.

"Fair enough."

The pack returned in a group, their smooth dark skins gleaming in the sunlight. A female walked flanked by two males, dark hair coiling in loose spirals around her face and down her back. Unlike the males who only wore loose shorts, the girl wore a loose tunic dress to hide her sex. Bella flinched as she looked at her, the splitting image of Leah Clearwater, right down to the ugly scowling expression. Slightly in front of the girl Leah's brother Seth and Embry Call, the only members of the pack other then Quil she remembered. Half-heartedly Embry gave her a little wave, Bella smiled back. Carlisle, taking back his mantle as leader of the family, cleared his throat.

"Perhaps we should introduce ourselves to the newcomers of the group."

"That's not…" Quil began irritably, but Carlisle ignored him, choosing to direct his introductions at the younger members of the pack who could barely contain their curiosity and reproach. Baby faced Seth rolled his eyes.

"I am Carlisle Cullen, this is my wife Esme. These are my children, Rosalie and her husband Emmett, Alice and husband Jasper, Edward and, of course, his fiancée Bella."

"Fiancée?" Quil asked sulkily. "When's the wedding?"

"I'm n-" Bella began but Alice finished off for her with a grin.

"August."

Bella gave her sister a dark look and Alice shrugged.

"Did I not tell you that?"

"What does a vampire serve at their wedding?" Embry pipped up snidely. "Positive or Negative?"

Bella scowled and behind her Rosalie made a noise of contempt.

"Cordon Bleu Shut The Hell Up." Rosalie sniped under her breath, and Emmett rumbled with barely contained laughter.

Bella looked down her nose at Embry, giving him her best look of vampire distain.

"You know better then to assume Embry."

Surprisingly Embry looked rueful, he gave Bella a slight apologetic smile.

"Yeah Bells, I know I do."

Bella ducked her head, clearing her throat awkwardly.

"So am I going to be introduced to the rest of the pack?"  
Quil looked reluctant and exchanged a weary look with Embry who seemed to be slowly shaking his head. Bella deflated slightly until Seth made a noise of exasperation and pushed his two elders out of the way.

"I'll do it." He said buoyantly. Quil rolled his eyes.

"Seth…"  
"Shut up Quil." Seth told Quil crossly. "It isn't like Edward doesn't already know, and anyway Bella's _family_."

Bella looked at Edward in confusion, her eyebrow raised, Edward grinned back.

"Ok Bells, the girl and the guy next to her are Leah's kids, Emilia and Max." Leah's face (or as it had been half a century ago) smiled at her with relative sweetness, dark eyes more curious then hostile. The boy next to her, Max, nodded, his face a blank slate. Emilia's eyes flickered quickly to the boy in front of her, who craned his neck to look back with concern,

"Oh and this is Logan. He's Sam and Emily's."

Logan nodded curtly, looking at her with dislike.

"Logan just imprinted on Emmy." Seth noted with a sly grin. Logan choked and glared at Seth with disbelief. Quil shook his head again.

"Oh what…" Seth said nonchalantly to his bemused peers. "I thought she'd find it interesting, because before we didn't think…"

Emilia sighed wearily and rolled her eyes at her imprint. Logan's previously sullen face lit up for a moment, and to Bella he suddenly looked very painfully like his father. She wondered if, despite the connection fate had given her, the union of Leah's daughter and the son of the man who broke her heart, ever chafed old wounds.

"Anyway…" Seth continued cheerfully. "Guess what happened Bella! You'll never guess! I met someone, finally! Her names Sylvie…"

Bella frowned for a moment and then her eyes widened.

"You imprinted?" Seth nodded happily "That's amazing!"

The rest of the pack made a curious, synced groan, Seth glanced at them resentfully.

"They don't like her very much… She can be a bit… prickly?"  
Quil snorted and Bella laughed out loud. Of course, it made an almost perfect, if absurd, kind of sense that lovely Seth would be drawn towards the walls and defences that all broken beings carried, that he could never seem to understand.

"I'd like to meet her some time." Bella smiled. Seth froze comically for a second, his face dropping. The other wolves shifted uncomfortably on their large feet, Bella sighed sadly. "Oh."

"Bella." Quil interjected softly. "We need to talk."

Bella felt Edward's arm slip protectively around her shoulders, and she knew this was going to be devastating.

'Go on…" She dared Quil's determined brown eyes. "Say it."

Quil cleared his throat, but nodded.

"We all voted, usually it would be a decision of seniority but we decided because…" Bella's hard expression cut off his ramblings, and Quil stretched to his full height. "We can't let you stay, I'm sorry. If it was just you it would be a different matter, but there are too many of you now, too much animosity."

Bella's lips pursed.

"None of us have given you a reason to distrust us." Her voice was curiously emotionless.

"We can't justify letting you stay here anymore."

"It's my _home_." Bella's voice broke slightly. "Are you saying never…"  
"I'm sorry."

Edward's hands braced her and she bit back a growl, even Seth tensed slightly as the pack readied themselves for attack.

"Is this because of what happened to Jake?" She asked in a small voice. "I can't keep blaming myself Quil, there is only so much penance one person can take."

"No!" Quil said fervently. "No! Bella, what happened to Jacob wasn't your fault… If anything Jacob is saving you. The treaty is broken Bella, they turned someone- that's meant to be death."

Cecily growled loudly, and Carlisle pulled her back by the arm, whispering something Bella did not catch into her ear.

Bella thought about what Quil had said, and for a moment the image of two lit up figures flit through her mind, one too skinny and too sad, her eyes empty as she looked up with love at the man who dwarfed her. Her own personal sun, when the world had ceased to turn. Despite his protests Bella could see strains of accusing still lingering in Quil's eyes, and she knew she deserved them. At the same time she knew that she was not fully responsible for Jacob's loneliness, and despite the fact she would carry him and his death on her shoulders forever, she could not continue to mourn him.

"Ok." She said quietly and Quil looked relieved.

"Bella you know that we'll always consider you family."

"The black sheep." She answered humourlessly, but she appreciated the sentiment.

"Yeah, but still family."

Bella looked back at the silent family behind her, returning Quil's sentiment but knowing also that only one family had accepted her, faults and past and fangs and all, and given the terrible choice between the two it would always be…

Easy wasn't the right word.

"When do you want us to leave?" She asked.

"Twelve hours." Quil replied gravely, he seemed to believe quite honestly that he was being generous. Bella gave him a dark look.

"This is my home Quil." She repeated deliberately, looking him in the eye. Quil stared back, his jaw set.

"We can't let you stay. Not for our children, not for our future. We'll fight you for that."

She was never going to fight, Quil knew that. Bella nodded curtly and looked to Edward, indicating silently that she wanted to leave. With out noise, the unnatural Cullen's turned away from the protectors of Fork's forests.

"Bells…" Quil called out weakly. "I really am sorry. For everything."  
Bella turned and smiled back, letting go of remorse and bitterness.

"It's ok Quil, truly. I'm not."

--

It took them four hours to be ready to leave.

Leaves cascaded like rice on a wedding day, flying in loops and swirls with wind and rain. It seemed to follow the sad funeral march of cars as they speeded away from Forks, and just like that the vampires of Forks disappeared. Maybe forever.

Bella touched the window of Edward's Mercedes, decorated by droplets of rain, and silently curved a salute. The wolves followed them for a few miles, but soon their furry bodies fell back and they watched with keen, dark eyes their foes disappear into the horizon.

Bella smiled as she left behind Forks, a sad, hopeful, silly smile. It seemed odd that once upon a time she had hated Forks, had never wanted to come in the first place. Forks had given her Edward, had given her Jacob, had given her more family then she could handle. She waved goodbye to Charlie's grave, to her childhood home, to the big white house hidden in the forest. She would miss Forks.

She hoped that one day she would be allowed to return.


	18. Epilouge

AN: Oh no it's _over_. This is the first full-length fic I've ever finished and I want to thank all you guys for helping me through it. Thank you to every one who read this and an even bigger thank you to those who reviewed. Enjoy this epilogue. :)

_--_

_We belong together_

_Like the open seas and shores_

_Wedded by the planet force_

_We've all been spoken for_

We Belong Together – Gavin Degraw

--

Surprisingly and despite the fact it was planned by one Alice Cullen, the wedding of Edward and Bella Cullen was small and simple.

It was a garden wedding, decorated in whites, blacks and blues. The family invited the friends Bella had never had time to meet, and Bella invited those she had never expected to introduce to them (Lilly gave her new beau a quick, disdainful once over before giving Bella a friendly hug) Bella wore a soft, elegant shift dress, neckline falling at the front and back a few centimetres between modesty and vulgarity (curtesy of a compromise between the bride and the maid of honour), and a hemline that hovered almost at her knees in whispering silk and muslin.

She smiled through the entire ceremony, oblivious of the orchid and freesia centre pieces that Alice had imported from Italy, or the gargantuan seven story wedding cake that was wheeled out as pristine as it had entered. Her eyes locked, as his did on hers, on the groom. The prince charming at the end of the story.

Edward was dashingly clad in a black tuxedo, he, as usual, looked nothing less then perfect, but to Bella there was a new element to his beauty. The curve of nose, the proud lift of his chin, the redness of his lips and the disarray of his hair all held new fascination because they now, officially and forever, belonged to her.

A solemn Emmett recited the ceremony pausing for them to both promise each other the infinite years to come (Edward recites Tennyson_- now slides the silent meteor on, and leaves/ a silent furrow as my thoughts in you_, Bella Shakespeare_- the lunatic, the lover, and the poet/ Are of imagination all compact.) _before the climax of the I Do's. The guests applaud and Connecticut looks up expecting rain to follow thunder.

It is everything Bella didn't think she wanted, and she realises that Rosalie is right. This seemingly meaningless array of uncomfortable shoes and catering services means something very special indeed.

There are ghosts clustered in the corners, barely in sight but there non the less, those people they have accumulated over long years. Bella's mother and father, friends that she can only barely remember, Jacob, Jon. Those who couldn't be there. She feels their eyes on her back before she discards them; loved or not, she has lived with too many ghosts for too long. She tells them a silent goodbye and thank you, and then she moves to share her first dance with her new husband.

They party like humans, with laughter and karaoke. Alice not so subtly hints that she has enjoyed planning this wedding so much she might force Bella to have another. Bella tells her in no uncertain terms that one is enough. Bella does not leave the sanctuary of her new husbands arms and she enjoys his voice murmuring into her ear all night- "I love you Mrs Cullen."

And then it's all over, and under a starry sky Bella and Edward leave for their honeymoon (one that both of them are more then ready for).

For a night of promises of forever and always, the nights end is simple, they are silent as they explore one anothers flesh, their bodies making promises of their own.

Then it really is the end.

Only Bella knows that this isn't really the end, it's the prologue of a much better story.

--

A new year, Bella sighed to herself, a new state, a new school.

She blinked at the building which loomed above her, pursing her lips as she ignore the appreciative looks her new peers were giving her, and her (an engagement gift from Edward) car.

"Bella Swan?" She pirouetted sharply, and the speaker, a flaxen haired male, stepped back cautiously. "Um… Hi, I'm Sean Meany."

Bella _Cullen_ looked at him for a few moments, before realising that he had expected her to reply. Damn it, she really was out of practice when it came to the living, breathing population.

"Oh hey…" She replied. She nodded her head awkwardly. "I'm um…"

"New." The boy finished for her. "Yeah I know, I'm um, meant to…"

"Oh!" Bella said in alarm. "Please don't… I'm ok really…"

The boy, Sean opened his mouth to argue but was interrupted by another male voice, louder and more dominating then his own.

"Hey new girl!"

Bella winced as a large arm wound around her shoulders. She peered across her shoulder to look into the face of another living breathing human male of which she had no idea what to do with. Dear god how did Edward deal with this everyday.

"I'm Jonah." The guy introduced himself confidently, giving her an all over perusal. "Let me take this time to welcome you to St Michaels."

"I'm Bella." Bella replied shortly, detaching herself. Jonah frowned.

"_Bella_!"

Bella exhaled in absolute relief as Alice came barrelling towards her. She watched through her peripheral as both Jonah and Sean exchanged weary glances, the hairs on their necks standing up.

Bella grinned at her sister, and let her self be hugged.

"Finally." Bella retorted when they parted. "I've been waiting here for ages. It's a sad day when I can't even rely on family to meet me at the gate."

"I _missed_ you." Alice beamed. "Where's Edward? How was the…"

Alice realised suddenly that they were within ears dropping distance. She looked over irritably at Sean and Jonah, who looked back at them strangely.

"Family?" Jonah asked, his voice strained. "So Bella's…"

"A Cullen." A booming voice informed them. Bella turned and accepted a quick embrace from Rosalie and Emmett.

"Emmett Swan." Jonah said through his teeth, giving Emmett an expression only a recently trampled alpha male could give.

Emmett gave the boy a cool look, before turning away and disregarding him entirely.

"So how was the honeymoon?" He asked. Bella gave him a dark look. Rosalie rolled her eyes and sighed.

"_Emmett_."

Luckily both Sean and Jonah had trickled back to their respective cliques, leaving the family in private.

"So where is the happy groom?" Emmett asked. He paused and then winked. "Worn him out already?"

Bella's eyes widened in embarrassment and Rosalie mimed hitting her forehead.

"_Emmett_."

"Actually." Bella said after she had recovered. "He's picking up our timetables."

She sniffed and then smirked.

"And for your information I think you'll find a certain French villa which has some extremely broken furniture."

Emmett faltered for a moment and Alice giggled into her hand. Bella smiled.

She wasn't ashamed, she like this new addition to Edward's and her relationship.

"Well…" Alice said matter-of-factly. "He better hurry up. We're going to be late to Physics, and the teacher is a cow."

"Fantastic." Bella said as glumly as she could. A familiar body was choreographing his way through the churning student mass.

"Hello my darling." Her husband greeted her cheerfully, dropping his arm around her shoulders. She leaned against him, inhaling his scent. "We're in Physics 101 together."

"I know." Bella smiled, indicating to Alice who waved her welcome before attaching her lips firmly to Jasper, who had followed Edward and the bouncing, bodacious Cecily.

The walked down the halls as a unit, ignoring curious looks and perverse comments. Bella wondered if every day would be so happy, so _normal_.

"Is that Edward Cullen? He's _gor_-geous."

A girl whispered to her friend, the other girl sniffed and rolled her eyes snidely.

"I wouldn't waste your time. He's _very_ taken."

Bella met their eyes, saw the jealousy, and smiled.


End file.
